Monday, June 22, 2009

Too young?

So, I have totally been slacking in my blog postings the last while. Life has been a bit stressful, and well, when there is stress in my life, blogging doesn't really happen. As a matter of fact, it doesn't even cross my mind. Fortunately, Sharona is a dedicated sole, full of pictures, stories, and even has taken over weekly word duties....oh how lovely!! :)

Alas, I have decided to take some time to write a bit on the ol' blog. For the last little while I have had several conversations in regards to religion and its applicability in life...but I seem to always feel like I talk about religion, so I decided that I am going to write about the other topic I LOOOOVVVEEEE so much.....dating!

Everyone who knows me, knows I don't date much. Not because of opportunity, but because of lack of desire and/or time. I meet a ton of girls on a regular basis, and for some crazy reason, a lot of them seem interested in going out with me (I think its for the sex, but well, I don't think that works so well for them). Finding a quality girl is a lot more difficult to find then one might think. Most of the time they are not mormons, but that has never stopped me before. (no need for chastisement, lectures on temple marriage, or related....trust me I have heard it all.....I just don't meet that many mormons.) For the last while though, the girls that have been, shall we say, very persistent, ...they seem to be getting younger and younger....just the other day I was checking the law for what was the legal age in my state!! (Just kidding! I was not checking what was legal, but maybe I should have - don't tell anyone!)

So, the question then presents itself....how young is too young? Full disclosure I am 31...and shockingly only a few years into my career (yeah, I liked school a little too much). I have heard a bunch of stories. For example, the other day a friend of mine and I were out to dinner, and the waitress slipped me her number on the sly (no I didn't ask for it!), but the looks of her, she was maybe 23, and with my ability to guess ages, probably 19 or 20...but very cute, and we did exchange at least 2 or 3 very short and spontaneous quips, which is definitely enough to base a relationship out of. The conversation came up when my friend and I inquired as to how young is too you, because there was a fairly persistent individual at the ripe ol' age of 23 which I can't seem to shake without being a bit rude. Her response was it is all dependent on the "maturity level of the individuals."

Now, I don't know the average bear, but most of my life I have tended to date girls that were at a minimum my age, and the majority of the time a bit older. So, on the basis of maturity, either I was a fantastically mature teenager, or those mid XXXX somethings were really really immature. Granted, every time I have been to a palm reader or other soothsayer....they always start with "you are a very old sole"....but really how old can you be til it gets creepy? On the flip, one could probably comfortably say we were just sick and wrong....bring out the police and lock us all up. While I don't think I would recommend someone follow in my footsteps, I don't care too much for or about age as long as the girl is my age and older, but any time a girl is younger than me, yeesh, I get the heeebeeeejeeebeees! (I can't spell that word).

I have also heard the 1/2 your age + 7 rule...which on the whole seems logical, but in my situation, that puts the dating range down to like 23.....hello....can we say cradle robber...no offense, but that is just wrong W-R-O-N-G wrong.

Then there is the thing that gets around in my head....I have a sister that is XX and another sister older than me that is XX (ages are withheld for fear of sheer torture, retribution, and just downright anger!) and I am in the middle of the two. It always seems odd to date people younger than the one and older than the other.... at least now that I seem to look for people to date with a more serious intent rather than kicks and giggles.....although I do enjoy my fair share of giggles....not so much the kicks...hmmmm. The problem is that only leaves me with a few year discrepancy......oh the dilemnas!

I'm sure there are other metrics or rationale out there, and I am all inclined to hear them, so please oh please tell me your words of wisdom!

7 comments:

Anne said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again... you have too many rules! Stop over thinking everything!

Jefe said...

But I love rules....if I didn't have rules, what would I try to break? The rebel inside me would die, and alas I would wallow in self hate and deprecation all because my identity as the rebel child would die. Now how fun would that be?

Sharona said...

You are SUCH a nut. I don't remember worrying about a person's age nearly as much when I was dating. It was usually just a matter of whether or not I was intrigued. I even dated a 21 yr old (or was he 22..) when I was 27. And had it not been for his ex that he needed to go back to, ... :) I mean, you don't even KNOW their ages and you're already nixing them from your list. It's a disease Jefe. It's called ageism. It's female dating discrimination. :) Loosen up already! And stay away from anyone under 20.

Jefe said...

As long as I know that 20 is when they are too young! ;) Agreed on the ageism thing...I really am a bit of a snob when it comes to that. I'll see what I can do.

dolly d. said...

It's true, too many rules are just too many rules. I mean, I actually started having fun dating when (not that you don't have fun, I'm really not sure) I finally threw all of my rules out the window. And I had quite a few.

As a result I had my first kiss from a man 19 years my senior, dated a couple that were younger than me, and ultimately married a 37 year-old man when I was 29. He has had moments of "am I too old for you," but they quickly pass and he is perfect for me and I'm glad I dated someone 19 years older so that 8 didn't seem like a big deal at all.

P.S. My little brother is happily married to a woman 8 years older than him. That means she is the same age as his third-next-older sister. Ha!

Wanderingfamilies said...

Date older...it worked for Kurt and I! ;-) Either way, I am sure you will end up with the queen of the earth - you deserve her!

Jefe said...

Ooohhhh...the queen of the earth...that sounds really exciting...but I hope I am not the servant in that relationship...I'm not into whippings and all that bdsm stuff! :)