Holding My Breath

I've been silent for so long! Sorry about that. I don't know that I have a lot I want to blog about, but at this point I think I'd better just suck it up and give an update or, who knows. I could never blog again.

I know what you're thinking. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! What would I do without your rambling, random, sometimes incoherent and at-other-times overly personal and awkward posts?" Have no fear. I won't let it happen. I'm here for you. Ok, so I'm here for me mostly and you a little. But you get the idea.

My lack of posting is not for lack of life happenings or activity. Why, Ben and I just took a delightful trip to Minnesota for Easter to hang out with Jon & Anne and their kids. Jeff & Erika came up as well, so we had a really good time doing what we do -- eating, chatting, playing games and otherwise making merry with family while doing nothing particularly productive. It's one of my favorite ways to spend time.

Actually, I can't say I did nothing productive. I did help Anne stuff envelopes for the Republican candidate she is caucusing for in the race for US Senate. This is very nice of me since I don't normally make a practice of helping Republican candidates. But I do help sisters-in-law. So, he got lucky due to a caveat. Just like a politician.

I mostly haven't blogged because there is news and happenings I would LIKE to share with you, but I can't because the particular news and happenings I'd like to tell you about have yet to transpire. I'm just waiting for them. And they're taking so long. I get frustrated a lot these days, waiting for things to come together.

It's not all bad news though. The dress business is a bright spot in my dull canvas called life. I will have two styles of dresses available for purchase for the Summer 2012 season -- just weeks away. Crazy huh?! I'm really excited about that (when I'm not overcome with anxiety about it. You can read more about that here if you desire.) So, I should have more good news on that front soon. Rest assured, you will hear about it EVERYWHERE when the dresses are available. I will mercilessly self-promote once they're on sale. You've been forewarned.

But that's really the only big thing going on right now. Granted, it's big, but I'm a demanding sort of person and I was hoping for more. So, stay tuned. There could be more on the way. I certainly hope so. Aand please don't take this to mean that an announcement that we're having a baby is impending. I hate to dampen your spirits by telling you this is not what we are waiting for, but, well, .... it's not what we're waiting for.

January Update

It has been about 2 months since I finished classes. I have yet to receive my certificate in the mail that officially declares I graduated with my MBA, but the lack of anxiety from looming tests and projects seems to be good enough evidence to convince me. It's really over.

And life without homework and finals is just as lovely as I remember it. It's also still just as busy! I knew there were things I had been neglecting! Now that I am back to EVERYTHING ELSE, Ben has finally realized the truth about me -- I like to stay busy. What can you do?

But this year comes with lots of things to look forward to. I hope. First, I am hoping it brings a new job. I have had a few interviews already and hope there will be more, one of which will HOPEFULLY turn into a lovely new job. And I'm even more hopeful that said lovely new job will be in another state, within close proximity to someone we're related to. Because the truth is, we get lonely down here in Cincinnati sometimes. And we think 3 years of missing out on spending time with family is sufficient. But, we could always end up staying. So, we'll see what happens. I'll let you know if any big developments come up.

Along with that, I like to daydream about buying a house. Finally. A fixer-upper, actually, because I'm just so picky. And I figure, if I know I'm going to have to redo it anyway, why not start with something that desperately needs redoing? How awesome would THAT be?! I daydreamed about it for the entire car-ride home yesterday. I had 3/4's of the floor plan on the 1st level worked out by the time I rolled into the parking lot.

I am all aglow with the prospects of traveling to Europe as well. Either France or England. Or both. I don't know yet. But we're going sometime this summer. And I always love crossing the pond.

These are a few of my dreams for this year. I have more. But I think this list is good enough for sharing for now. Sometimes, I think my life is good just because I like to look forward to things so much. I'm a dreamer, for better or worse. And whether or not they come true, my dreams make me happy all the same.

Has it Really Been That Long?

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. My, how time flies. I am all sorts of nervous right now. This is for a variety of reasons.

1) I have a final due in two days. And, as usual, I have procrastinated working on it. But I anticiipate I will get it done, as I usually do.

2) I had a job interview last week and I am waiting to hear back about it. I'm not sure if I want the job, but I still want them to want me. I'm a bit of a tease that way. Always have been.

3) The dress samples for the dress business are on their way to me and I can't wait to see how they turned out. Hopefully, good!

That's a lot to be nervous about, I think. My GPA, my livelihood and the potential for my little business are all significantly affected. How is a girl supposed to get anything done!?!?

But get things done, I must. I will fill you in on recent happenings, aside from anxiety, later. I gotta get back to my actual job that pays my bills.

I Don't Think I'm Ready

I read an article from the Washington Post today that was linked on Facebook by one of my friends. It was about Mormons. I am, of course, always curious about what kind of attention we're getting. We've been in the news a lot over the last year or so, and it's a cumbersome thing to keep up with our media attention, but I like to try. It's not really a dutiful act. I am just curious. What are people saying about us now?

Well, I think this article was an eerie foreboding of things to come with the ramping up of the presidential race. And I remember a recent NPR interview with Joanna Brookes a week ago Sunday that predicted as much. For the record, I liked the interview. I thought it was very objective and informative. The link to that interview is here.

The Washington Post article, however, wasn't very representative of my experience with the faith or its teachings, which is why I'm not linking to it. It also wasn't flattering in any way -- which is why I didn't like it. It's not so much because the article wasn't true. On the contrary, I'm totally fine with journalists lying about my faith in print. But the general rule about lying is, if you're going to tell a lie, it should be a nice lie. This article was decidedly neither honest nor nice.

It's all probably going to start getting very ugly. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I suppose I'll just have to brace myself, as I don't really have an option. Here it comes....

Fasting

I am waiting on some things.

#1 -- for a job interview call
#2 -- that I hope may result in a new job
#3 -- to finish my classes & degree (one month to go. I can do it)
#4 -- to move

And for some reason, this has resulted in fasting. Not food fasting. No, no. I am definitely an eater. Fasting these days includes:

#1 -- shopping fasting. Since July, believe it or not. And I think I will hold out till one of the above things I'm waiting for happens before I break said fast. I even returned my birthday presents, so not even that was given an exception.

#2 -- working out. For some reason, I can't get myself there. It's only been about a week. But even the few weeks before that I only got there once each. I think I'm just too mentally overwhelmed and full of anticipation.

Fast #1 is definitely deliberate. Ben was pretty unpleased when I took birthday items back to the store. But I just don't really want anything. And I want the satisfaction of shopping when I really have some exciting news to shop for. Weird? Perhaps. But it should benefit our bank account. I could do worse.

I'm hoping my end to fast #2 comes sooner than my end to fast #1, since I don't anticipate any of the items I'm waiting for will bring an end to fast #1 within the next few days. But I'll get there. Whatever funk I'm ever in eventually goes away.

Shew, funk. Shew.

Clothing Conversations

Over the past weekend, Ben and I have had a few comic exchanges in regards to wardrobes. They were too amusing not to share. J

Friday morning, before I am about to leave for work:

Ben: Sharon, you look really nice today.

Sharon: Aw. Thank you.

Ben: Yeah, really nice. Kind of like Christmas.

Sharon: It's September. I'm not supposed to look like Christmas. Maybe I should go change.

Ben: No, no. Really I like it.

(memo: if you want to compliment someone's outfit, steer clear of telling them they remind you of a holiday – especially if it's not that holiday)

Sunday, while watching general conference and the speaker is giving men tips on how to raise daughters:

Sharon: I think we're only going to have girls.

Ben: No, we're only going to have boys. And they're all going to have red boots.

Sharon: Why would we give our boys red boots?

Ben: I don't know.

Sharon: Well, if our sons are getting red boots, I have to have a pair of red boots too.

Ben: **audible groan

(Admittedly, I'm still trying to figure out what possessed Ben to say boys need red boots. Where does he come up with this stuff!?!)

Sunday, when I bring the 3 loads of laundry that I washed last Sunday, but never put away, out to the living room to fold:

Ben: Holy Cow! You have so many clothes!

Sharon: Ah, and yet not enough. It's such a paradox.

(Too true. Too True.)

Books

Ben and I have been cleaning house little by little, organizing our paperwork, throwing out things we don't need, and figuring out what we actually have. I took this opportunity to reassess my relationship with my book collection. I don't re-read books very often. And they take up all this space. And things seem to be going digital. Should I? They're so heavy. Do I really want to take them with me when we go?

The Verdict: I got rid of probably 70% of my book collection. I kept the books that I had on display, ones of specific sentimental value, reference books that may be hard to come by at a library, and my school books. That's it. I sent the rest to good will. It's done. I can't go back.

I have now put my boots and other shoes on my book shelves, as my shoes didn't seem to have enough room on the shoe rack. I must say -- my book shelves look so much better now.

First Wart

What a milestone to be having, right? I'm sure my mother would be very proud. Of course, I blame this on Ben, as the hepatitis virus that causes it clearly must have come from him. Otherwise, I'm sure I wouldn't be having my first wart at the fabulously aged prime of 31.

Location of wart: my right pointer finger. Kinda not an ideal location.
Size: small
Discovery: maybe in May or June?

So, I let it sit there for a while. It wasn't incredibly noticeable. it wasn't painful. But it was there, and warts are supposed to be gross. So I thought maybe I should get rid of it. I got some wart remover stuff at the store -- it's an ointment you squeeze onto the wart. Then you let it dry and stay there all day and it's supposed to kill "it". It says to use the ointment for up to 12 weeks.

I DID initially think 12 weeks was too long. Little did I know how right I was. I got through one week. And then, I looked at my poor finger and thought, " if I continue, I may not have much of a finger left. I think I will stop."

And now, instead of a little, hardly noticeable bump on my finger that, YES, was a wart (ew), I now have a large flesh wound. Said would can be seen here:



I know. Pretty tragic, right? The packaging on the medication said not to use on reddenned skin. I'm pretty sure scarred and lesioned should qualify as well.

A Lovely Sunday

Yesterday was a nice day. I woke up very refreshed at 7:30am. Not bad for the weekend, if I do say so myself. We had signed up to make dinner for one of the family's in our ward and I had a lot of lofty goals in that department -- redemption mainly. The last time we signed up for dinner, our schedules were so swamped we ended up ordering them chinese food. Pathetic, no? So, I was excited to get on with cooking.

This time around, we were doing it all different. I started by making fresh bread. Yup, you read that right. Once the bread was going, I started the roast in the slow cooker with some yummy veggies. And then I made a chocolate thunder cake. Mmmmm. Okay, so I don't know if it was actually mmm because I have never tried it before and we gave it all to the family. But it consists of chocolate cake, sweetened condensed milk, hot fudge sauce and melted white chocolate with peppermint on top for decor. It sounds mmm, right? And with vanilla ice cream, how could one go wrong?

I loved cooking that much food! Ben and I don't cook a lot. And for the most part, that is because we are lazy. But it is also because we just don't have that many eaters. And I love to cook for a crowd, for some reason. They are a family of 6, so I got to cook LOTS of food. I just like doing that.

That took up most of my morning and we don't have church until 2pm. I taught the laurel class. And the girls actually said how much they enjoyed my lesson. We talked about the house of Israel and the Covenant of Abraham. Who enjoys that lesson?!?! I was totally stoked they didn't fall asleep, even more stoked the professed they liked it.

Late that night before we went to bed, I was looking at a sale email I got and something caught my eye -- an LBD. I have been trying to find an LBD. Despite all of my formalwear, I actually don't have one and have had need of one on a couple of occasions. I had to improvise with separates (which I achieved with mixed success). Finding a cute, modest and affordable LBD is kind of a challenge. I thought this one might qualify. So, I bought it.



I'm hoping: 1) it's hemmable. This model is probably 5'10", which means this "knee-length" skirt would come to my mid-calf. :) 2) it doesn't look matronly. The good news is if neither of those things prove to be true, it's returnable.

Oh my. I just admitted that I bought this online on Sunday. It was at like 11pm. And I swear I was incredibly focused on sabbath-like things the whole time. Don't tell Ben. But it kind of put the cherry on top of my Sunday.

No!!!

Ben went to meet with the stake president yesterday to replace his lost temple recommend. A good thing right? Well, it was. Until it took a turn for the worst. In a nutshell, he told Ben we should hurry up and have some babies already. I have so far been able to happily ignore any other indications that we are late comers to the parent club.

Don't get me wrong. I have no intention of having a baby just because my stake president told me to. But it's going to make me feel SO much more guilty for however long it takes us till we have kids.

If I See an Article About A Mormon One More Time This Week, I'm Gonna....

How long before the media is tired of printing the word "mormon"? I kind of feel violated. We're everywhere! Including:


Here

And here

And here

And here

And here


And that's just a small sampling of the litany of articles, news flashes, shows and other media that have been flashing my religion across the television screen and the newspapers, for everyone's entertainment. There's still the Big Love show (which really isn't even related to mormons, but whatever) and Jimmer Fredette and... you get the point.

I have always assumed that when people I meet learn that I am a mormon there will likely be a small moment of, "I've met one!" or "really!?! odd." or something to that effect. And I don't mind that much. I understand that outside of the densely populated areas of Utah, Las Vegas or Idaho, we tend to be an anomaly. I've been totally fine with that my whole life. And I've never made any effort to "hide".

But now with all the media attention and the obsession with minute details about my faith that really don't "define" myself or my belief system, the initial impressions out there are suddenly run amok. I might have to do "damage control". And I don't even want to worry about the innumerable misnomers and misconceptions that might now be out there when people learn about my religious affiliation. I don't want to have to dispel anything or defend myself -- especially so early on in a relationship! I am growing quickly tired of having my religion be used as a point of amusement and something to pick at and contort.

Not that I have big issues with any particular tidbit or story that is in the media. Even with the Broadway hit show. I have gotten the impression from a few that they feel it is only right if we, the faithful (mormon or otherwise), are offended by how someone could mock something we hold as sacred as our religion. As much as I can see their point, I've never been one to take offense to much and I can see how many of my own beliefs could be seen as crazy and absurd. It doesn't bother me at all to have people laugh about that. I just don't like the frenzied attention. And the prolonged fascination. The en masse and lengthy obsession is weird.

I did not join a reality tv show and seek this out. I don't think the church leadership did either. Are we really that interesting? For all you're wishing we were a freak show to see, I am just not much of a freak. Can we all move on now?

Of course, I am aware both Romney AND Huntsman have announced their candidacies for president. It's not going away any time soon. But a girl can wish, can't she?

Our trip to Utah, 2011 Edition

Congratulations to Karla! She graduated from high school and Ben & I got to be there for the happy occasion. We also got to celebrate her older brother Daniel's college graduation (sorry, no pictures of pretty much anything else from our trip. I know, I'm terrible.).

When we got to Salt Lake on Thursday night, we stayed at my mom's. As one would expect from my mother, she stocked the bathroom with brand new towels, spruced up the guest bed with adorable pillows, and filled the kitchen with all of Ben's favorite treats. And when we woke up in the morning, what else would be waiting for us but fresh crepes with all the fixings? Ahh, so good to be home.

That morning, however, we were whisked away with Ben's family to Indianola for some cabin-ing. We got to play games, ride ATV's, have ping pong throw-downs, hike around the back of the property while all the nieces gathered wild flowers, and enjoy all of the fabulous food everyone prepared. Admittedly, I should have gotten a good picture of Ben covered in piles of mud from an ATV ride. It will just have to suffice that I know it happened and we had to pre-soak and pre-scrub EVERYTHING he had on before they could actually be washed. D.I.R.T.Y. BOY. I also got in a couple nice relaxing runs out there. Pretty vistas like that need to be enjoyed. I think I also ran by a rattle snake while on one of those runs. Good news --- I was already running. The only thing that would have made the trip any better would have been if it had been warmer. But we expected rain all weekend and only got 1 day of it, so I won't complain too much. And the food was so good, I've decided for the Neu family reunion in August, we should just have the Young's come cook for us. French toast with fresh strawberries and buttermilk syrup, anyone? Mmmm.

I ended up leaving the cabin a day early because, tragically, I had finals the week we were gone and I needed to do some research for the papers I was working on. While Ben stayed, I came back on Monday to get down to business. I was surprised as I was leaving to realize that this would be the first time in a looooonnnnnggg time Ben and I had not slept in the same place -- probably since the first few months of our marriage when I was still traveling for Sharon Charles and had not moved out to Ohio. It felt a little strange.

My well-intentioned study plans were quickly averted when I called my parents to tell them I had arrive back a day early. They immediately swooped in to pick me up and drive me out to Kerrie & Laurent's where everyone was gathering and feasting for the holiday (I had forgotten May 31st was a holiday). I don't think they heard much of what I said after I stated that I was at their house. Later references to "it's just me and Ben's still at the cabin" and "I came back to work on my finals papers" were lost on them completely, as they were disappointed to see my husband was not in toe and didn't seem at all concerned with my homework. And, since I was so excited to see everyone and this was such a prime opportunity, I decided to ignore my homework for a while too. Robbie, my nephew, came up from Provo, and then Emilie & Dustin came with their kids as well. I finally got to meet the twins!!! As I suspected, they are adorable. We feasted, we chatted, I ate too much and I didn't get squat done on my homework until I came home that night. However, I didn't overeat as much as my niece, Camille, did. Holy freak! That girl can't be more than 20 lbs, and I am quite certain she ate her weight in rolls and fruited jello. She can totally pack it in. It defied all knowledge I had about the limits of a human's digestive system.

After that, however, I could have been anywhere, because all I saw was my laptop screen for the next couple of days, as I worked on my homework. Ben and I hung out with my folks and Laurent on Tuesday night when he got back from the cabin and had a throw-down in scrabble. Wednesday was a lot more of the same until I left to go to Provo to meet Chamaine and Mesha for dinner. So good to see them! There aren't a lot of people I talk to on a frequent basis. I can probably count them on one hand. So, it's a good thing I have friends that I can pick right up with wherever it was that we left off!

On Thursday, I got a run in with my nephew Christopher at 7:30am in Riverton. It was a milestone day. I have gone running with Chris a few times before. But he is now a robust, tall, athletic 16 or 17 year old. He not only kept pace with me for the entire 2.5 miles for the first time ever, but he smoked me at the end when he still had steam to sprint to the finish. I don't have steam of ay kind at 7:30am. It was definitely not like the old days.

After that, dear Karla graduated from high school. It must be noted, she's pretty much amazing and she is off to Happy Valley to study at BYU. Go Karla! PS -- I have a cute nephew that you should meet when he gets back from his mission in a couple years. wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Afterwards we had a good time hanging out at Ben's parents house, where there was, as always, delectable eats, fun games and lots of family around. Katrina made something I'd never had before -- lime zested sugar cookies. I was in love.

That night, we stopped by to see an old friend, Manny. He looked like he was doing really well and we had a good time catching up. Then we went back down to Provo to see Rachel & Jesse, Will and Adrian & Ty. There were so many people we love hanging out with in one place, it was a gold mine. We brought thai food and just talked and caught up and laughed and made fun of each other -- my favorite way to eat dinner.

Friday. What did we do Friday? We slept in. And then we went up to Emilie & Dustin's to see their new house. Also, Ben hadn't met the twins yet. And how can you say you've been on vacation and not have played any pinochle? So, we hung out there until we could detain their family no longer (around 1pm) and they left for THEIR vacation down to St. George. Their house is awesome. Ben and I are totally moving in. After that, we picked up a couple graduation presents and took off for Daniel's graduation party at their homestead. More yummy food. And lots of fun seeing family again.

We ducked out a little early to see an old friend with a new wife: dear Aaron and the new addition, Juliann. It's so good to see an old friend and to see he has found his perfect match -- WHICH was totally obvious. So fun to see them both. And they got us some of Hatch's chocolate pot de creme's for dessert. Oh my. Aaron, how I shall ever endeavor to deserve such a good friend.

I must confess, that we didn't stop there. We left Aaron's and ran back to Daniel & Gretchen's to play games. Ian was there too, so it was like old times before we had ever moved. We played Settler's. I can't remember who won, but it certainly wasn't me. That, however, was probably the only flaw of the evening. :)

Saturday (I swear I'm almost to the end of the trip): I woke up and got to go to my old stomping grounds, Sugar House Park, and got in a good run. And then I laid in the grass and reveled in my good fortune. While I reveled I did some push-ups and squats, so I was productive. When I came back from my run, Ben and I were greeted by crepes again for breakfast. I must confess, my mom fed us breakfasts pretty much every day that week. Did I mention my mom is amazing? But she made us crepes TWICE. And nobody does crepes quite like my mom, so I have to mention it.

Finally, we left to start out our day by going to visit an old friend, Blair. I got to meet his wife & kids. I met his daughter once before because we used to work together and he brought her to the office one day when daycare didn't work out. I tried to entertain her in my office for a little while. I was incredibly unsuccessful. This visit was much better. We read a disney princess book and a book about fairies. I like fairies. Apparently so does Regan. Oh, and we also got to catch up with Blair. Blair, Blair, Blair. He's just amazing. One of those people who should be doing book tours and giving motivational speeches. He's not your average bear. Needless to say, I enjoyed our visit. I think Ben did too.

After the visit, we went up to check on the studio in Park City. My studio is officially a bachelor pad. And for some reason, my renters are very bad at buying themselves proper light bulbs -- every one of them, out of 4 years of renting. It's uncanny. So, as a token of our gratitude for our fabulous renter, Eric, Ben and I did what he could not do for himself -- we went to Home Depot and got him all new light bulbs so the place would be well lit. Then we got some grub at El Chubasco, one of my all-time favorite Mexican eateries in Park City -- WHERE I ran into one of my old housing program clients, Rena. She is doing great! It was good to run into her. I tell ya. My luck is awesome.

At last, on Saturday night, I had my girl's night out -- something that would happen much more often if most of my old girlfriends did not live so far away. Tragically, Bethany did not get there. She was very missed. I guess we'll still have to plan a weekend getaway. How tragic. :) But I was more than filled with updates from Katie and Emery and gave back my fair share of down low information.

Sunday, we packed up and left. That was it. The trip out west was fabulous. Honestly, it felt like we never left Utah. When we started to prep for the airport, both Ben and I noted that we wouldn't mind if we never went back to Ohio. Is that terrible to say? It's not that we don't like Cincy. But we just don't have everybody there with us. However, work beckons both of us and I can only live off of a suitcase's worth of clothing and shoes for so long. :) And before we went, we got to do a few of our favorite things. And see a bunch of our favorite people. I was dismal at taking any pictures outside of Karla's graduation. But, luckily, some of our favorite people were in attendance there. Here's a picture:

We miss you already. Thanks for a fabulous trip!

Double Take

Facebook is awesome. I love finding old friends. Adrian used to laugh at how I love to collect people. I don't really keep in touch with people on a frequent basis, but I love to keep track of people and just have them not too far away. I like to know they're alright. I don't know why. It makes me feel better.

I found another old friend this week. It's been years. Probably since middle school. We used to do plays together. I was so excited to have found her! After we were officially "friended", I was snooping through all the things she's been up to and looking at all the pictures, and suddenly I was smacked by the most shocking revelation. This girl was ME! No, seriously. Me, but being me much better. It was like that episode of Friends when that chick steals Monica's identity. But how is that possible?! I thought I was doing a pretty good version of me up until now!

It took me a little while to think through it. How could she be doing such a better job at being me. She is knee-deep in all the things I absolutely love -- plays, swing dancing, photography. And I don't do ANY of that stuff right now. Why am I not her? We clearly love the same things. And that WAS me for a while, but it was me like 5 years ago. Look what has become of me! How did this happen? Where did I go wrong?! Where am I?

But then I got a grip. And I realized, this was not me. First of all, I don't have her fabulous legs (I never do have those legs). But I also have other loves. And I have this incredibly serious side. And while I've left some of my loves for a while, I was planning to dive back into fun-loving hobbies I used to know as soon as this MBA mumbo jumbo is over.

Phew. Mid-life crisis averted. But she really is pretty darn awesome. I admit it. I did harvest a little bit of jealous. That doesn't happen often, so it took me by surprise. But I can embrace my jealous tendencies. They're a form of flattery, right?

It's What Month!?!?

Seriously? March? Impossible. I must have been in a coma for the last two months, because it totally seems like January to me. And it's not just because it snowed yesterday (although that helped).

Life has seemed at a standstill for the beginning of this year. This is mostly due to having too much to do and not having any time to do anything fun. I haven't worked out since January. I haven't traveled. I haven't really been home. It's been, shall we say, a little busy.

Classes have been grueling. And for the 1st part of the year I took on an extra project that consumed a couple hundred hours of time I didn't have. And then I have spent the rest of my weeks catching up. In addition, it is recruitment season at my work, which has required a lot of overtime and working on weekends. Or what used to be known as weekends and what is really just a very long week running into other very long weeks.

This next week is finals. I have to bear my head down for 7 more days and then, I will have done all I can do and the Spring Quarter will be over, as will recruitment (at least most of recruitment). And then maybe life will feel like it is moving again. Come to think of it, it's really not so bad to have your head in January and then wake up the next day to find it's almost April. I like April. It's very springy.

AND these months have not been without cause for celebration. This month we got our tax return back. Happy, happy return. And with it, Ben & I paid off the rest of my car loan and his student loan in one fell swoop. Yeah!!!! I can hardly believe they're done. They were our two remaining loans (aside from the mortgage, of course). I was incredibly delighted. When I get done with all of this winter craziness, I may even throw a party just to celebrate. But now that those are taken care of, I have to admit that I feel a loss. I looked forward to this day for so long. Now what do I look forward to? Never fear. We have enlisted the help of a financial planner. Hopefully he will give us some guidance on what to do next. My guess is he will not tell us to pay off the mortgage quickly, though I kinda wish he would. I hate loans of every kind, really.

There were some other highlights from the past few months of inertia. Ben & I celebrated Valentine's by going to one of our favorite restaurants in Cincy, Daveed's. We actually remembered to make a reservation early enough that we didn't have to choose between eating dinner at 4:30 or 10pm. And it was lovely (and delicious). Other rare news, I impulsively bought us 2 sky-diving tickets with a groupon offer. So, expect some future posting on that adventure, when we get around to it.

Well, It's not over yet, so I must be getting back. The chain at my desk is tugging me to pay attention, reminding me that I really don't have time for this. At least not for 7 more days. Till next time.

What a FLAVULOUS Trip to London!!!

Is it gone already?! Ahh, it was so great. Great indeed. Here are the details about all the wonderfulness that was our November trip to London:

I love London. It loves me. That's all you need to know. But I'll share all the intimate details anyway. We arrived Thursday, Nov. 11th in the afternoon, found our way to our lovely hotel near Wembley Stadium, took a nap, showered (I probably would have held out for one more day, but Ben made me do it)and then went down to Covent Gardens to see all the Christmas decorations and grab a bite to eat at a local pub
Ben at the pub


One new thing I learned about London which makes me love it even more than before -- since they don't have Thanksgiving (not that I DON'T love that holiday), they start decorating and prepping and celebrating the Christmas Season right after Veteran's Day. AWESOME. Can't we Americans just skip the turkey decor and go for the glitter and lights? We could still celebrate Turkey Day, just forgo all the gourds. Right?!?!? Anyone else in on this?

Anywho, after the pub, we went to visit my brother Gerry and his family at their flat in London. Sadly, all the kiddies were in bed, but it was great to hang out with them. Laurent and Kerrie were already there as well. Good times. Traveling is great. Traveling with family is even better.

On Friday, we slept in. Ahhh. I LOVE vacation. And then we met up with Gerry & Rachel and Laurent & Kerrie at a fancy shmancy french restaurant named Pied a Terre. Yum. The amuse bouches at this restaurant were divine. They trumped some of the menu items I'd ordered (which could be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it). Carrot mousse, Foie Gras between sesame wafers.... what's not to like? I still dream about that soup.

Then we took a walk over to my favorite museum in London -- the Tate Britain. Tragically the Lady of Shalott (my favorite there) was not on display, nor was April in Love and all of my other damsels in distress from the pre-raphaelite artists.

Lady of Shalott












April in Love

But I made friends with several other lovely paintings, so it's ok.













This picture, which is incredibly detailed, is actually this small:




















This is one of two large, decommissioned planes on display. This one, though you can't tell, had the painted pattern of feathers all over (very cool). But my biggest question was, "How on earth did they get it inside the museum?"

That night we went back to the flat and played Wii until more of the clan arrived. In came Jon & Anne and Emilie & Dustin (along with baby Camille) at last. Yeah!! We ordered Indian food and fried chicken and hung out till we were in danger of missing the last tube ride back to the hotel (around 12).

Saturday -- Th WEDDING DAY!!! I woke up incredibly early. I got up with inexplicable amounts of energy and went running around Wembley Stadium. Then we got ready. Subsequently, numerous hilarious events occurred that could have prevented many of us from making it to anywhere we needed to be. Miraculously, everyone made it to the hotel near Victoria Station for lunch (except the wedding couple, who were out taking pictures). New additions to the party who arrived that morning: Bob, my parents and Erika's parents. Lunch was lovely -- even though the hot chocolate was luke warm. I had a ravioli dish and other people had some kind of a filet mignon kind of dish. Yum.:)
Pictures of Lunch:

A few of my very good-looking brothers


More of the party


Camille, the little food thief under the table

Off to the train we went after lunch and traveled out to Surrey, where the London Temple is. At the temple we waited. And waited. We took an informal (and incomplete) family photo while we waited:


At last the lovely couple arrived and we took some pictures. Erika and Jeff looked cute and lovey. Camille took a special liking to me, for some reason, so I got to carry her around for a while as everyone posed for the photographers. Adorable and endearing. Except less adorable in the 4+ inch most painful and sparkly pair of shoes I've ever owned.See below (mine are the silver one's and Rachel's are the very sassy animal print -- almost as uncomfortable as far as I could tell, but just as fabulous).



Finally, the wedding ceremony! The temple ceremony was the shortest ceremony we have ever witnessed. It took all of 15 minutes. Talk about a quickie wedding! :) And suddenly, they were married. Tada!




Then back to the train to go to the fancy hotel for the wedding dinner/reception. A couple of Jeff's friends from law school arrived, which was delightful. And the food, as you can probably guess, was amazing. As Ben likes to remind me, when my family gets together it's all about the food. Jeff & Erika had a very pretty cake made with a Tiffany's box on top and cute little mini cakes all around.









By the end of the night I was completely crippled by my shoes and my family tortured me unduly by encouraging me to travel with them on the tube to get back to the hotel instead of taking a very civil taxi ride. I was convinced by them, for some unknown reason, and hobbled all the way home. And yes, despite this, I still really like those shoes. Boots are made for walking. Sparkly 4" heels are made for taxi rides.

Sunday, we walked to the church, stayed for sacrament meeting at Gerry's ward and then those of us that were staying at the hotel high-tailed it back so we could grab our bags from our rooms and check out before noon. Off to Gerry's flat we went to eat, nap and play for the rest of the day. Everyone else arrived and joined in too, of course-- just a little later. Then off to Gerry's rental flat, where we stayed for the rest of our trip.

On Monday, Ben & I went to the Tower of London to see all kinds of things. Among them -- the fancy crown jewels, the lawn where Ann Boleyn was beheaded (along with a host of other unlucky people) and the inside of a proper old church. You can't go to Europe and not step inside an old church.

Panorama of the Tower of London from the outside


A memorial at the tower green for everyone who'd lost their head there.




carvings made by the prisoners locked inside the towers.


Ben looking handsome at the Tower of London (he dressed up so we would be allowed in to the restaurant for lunch afterwards)

Then we met some family for lunch at Claridge's Gordon Ramsay restaurant. All about the food, all about the food. I ate pork belly and cheek for the first time.. and LIKED IT. Weird, I know. The rest of the meal wasn't so bad either. And the toilets were very pretty. If you ever go, don't miss visiting the loo. Later, we went shopping around Covent Gardens again with Jon & Anne and I bought a delightful knock-off Armani handbag. Yeah for useful & good-looking souvenirs!

I forgot to mention before, but we also went to go see Wicked that night. What a show!! Loved it. I want to see it again. Not just because it was good, but also because everyone we went with was comparing the cast we saw to previous casts they had seen. They made me incredibly curious about all these other casts they were talking about. Loved, loved, loved it though -- I'm more than happy to "need" to see it again. :)




Tuesday Ben and I went to Bath. William Wilberforce and Jane Austen used to live there (not together). We saw the roman baths (quite incredible).





This was over the temple inside the grounds of the Roman Baths; a tribute to Minerva.


Steam rising up from the baths below


Ben & I having a lovely time


These bricks were constructed like so underneath the floors to allow steam to pass through and heat the floor that would have been placed right overtop of the piles of brick.


One last look at the naturally steamy baths


A video of me giving an educational tutorial about the drain at the roman baths. I should be an educator. I'm so good at video tutorials.

We also ate soup & sandwiches in the Pump Room. And I had Egyptian peppermint tea. Mmmm.

Ben in the Pump Room

We also napped at the library (we were tired). We shopped. It was all very lovely. But then we realized we should have booked our departure train much earlier. We were done by 5 and couldn't leave until 8:30. And the shops were all closed by 6pm. What to do, what to do. We milled around and then got dinner. And then we at last went back. Not the best way to spend your last night in England, but oh well.

Wednesday -- you guessed it -- we traveled home. I got to see the movie, "Temple Grandin" on the flight home -- SO GOOD!! I also sat next to an older missionary lady who was traveling back from Africa. She was very nice. Unfortunately, she also smelled like old lady, so it took me the first couple hours of our 8 hour flight to stop noticing. Not so nice. You win some, you lose some.

And then we were back at work on Thursday. How quickly it comes and goes. It was so fun to see everyone. So nice to have a break. So nice to be back in London. I can't wait till we do it again!

Of course, I would have expected my co-blogger to post something on HIS trip to London, being that it WAS his wedding and all. However, he seems to be otherwise occupied. Go figure.

Update for October

Ok, I have been chastised for not updating. It's not going to be pretty or poignant, but since my blog posts are neither of those things typically, I won't feel bad about that.

Happenings Over the Last Month:

1) I took a blast class. It was a 4 credit class in marketing and I had to go to school from 8-5pm on Friday & Saturday, two weeks in a row, and then finish a somewhat large, consuming marketing plan project by the end of the following week. It really wasn't so bad and I liked studying marketing. Of course, it's easier to say it wasn't so bad now that it's over.

2) I went to SLC on a whirlwind tour for my soon-to-be sister-in-law's bridal shower. It was a very quick trip. Sorry for not seeing anybody. I flew into SLC at 12am Sat. morning & went to my parents' house and went to bed, woke up at a more reasonable hour, got supplies, set up for the party, visited my in-laws for a 1/2 hour, came back, hosted the party (with my family, of course,who helped out immensely), went to my already-sister-in-law's house for family dinner, went to bed, woke up on Sunday, went to church and then flew home. it was fun to see everyone and, believe it or not, I felt like that was more of a weekend than a lot of other weekends (see prior happenings for the month for reference).

3) I got a job offer from another department at UC. It was the position that I had originally applied for when I first interviewed here -- grant administrator 2. Glamorous, no? I was very excited about the offer. Unfortunately, they made a dismally LOW offer and I decided that I would turn it down and stay in my lowly position of program coordinator for now. What can I say? I've had better offers. I anticipate I will have better offers in the future. So, yes HR. You can keep your ever-so-generous, mandatory 5% raise and give it to somebody else who values themselves as little as you do. Good luck with that(Me, bitter? NOooooo. Ok, maybe a little. but I really was glad to get offered the job. I swear.).

4) I am still in an accounting class. I have a midterm tomorrow and while I have studied for it somewhat, I have been spending exponentially more time procrastinating my studying. I can't wait till tomorrow night when it's over, stress goes away and I can go back to not procrastinating until my next test/project.

5) I am still totally stoked to be going to London in less than a month. Jefe and Erika are getting married! And we are going on VACATION!!! :) I need silver close-toed pumps, however, and am having the hardest time finding a cute pair that is reasonably priced. Dilemmas, dilemmas. Finding the dress was so much easier. Funny -- I encountered the same exact problem before MY wedding. It seems apparent that I am, most definitely, a shoe girl. (in case anyone was doubting that fact)

6) Ben's parents have bought tickets and they are, for SURE, coming out to visit us for Thanksgiving!!!! I am SO stoked. We hardly ever get visitors. And for Thanksgiving! I've never really had to prepare a Thanksgiving meal before, so it should be interesting. I find it all very exciting -- the turkey, the stuffing, gravy. Oh, and having Ben's parents around to hang out with. JUST kidding - that's actually the best part. I think it's going to be totally fun. Can't wait!

7) I had a birthday and, lucky enough for Ben, my favorite present is to go shopping. I know, I know. I require so little thought & effort from my husband. What can I say? I want what I want. And I happen to believe there's a 99% chance no one else knows exactly what I want better than I do. I went shopping last week and victoriously came home with more than I should have. I heart successful shopping trips. Now I just have to return half of it. :) (Oh, and thank you for all the happy birthdays. If you texted me or called, I'm sorry not to have gotten back to you in a more timely manner. I left my cell phone at the store during said shopping trip and didn't have it around for two days).

8) I drove up to Granville, Ohio last Friday to promote our graduate program at a grad fair. it is one of the most beautiful, sleepy towns and it has AMAZING fall colors. It's much more drabby down here in Cincinnati, so the drive up there was a great treat.

9) Okay, so this isn't something that's "happened" really, but I'm still excited about it. Ben & I have been doubling down on our car payments ( I took out a 60 month loan on my Subaru when I bought it in 2008) and we are now only 7.3 months away from being car loan free! I love, love, love this prospect and I can hardly wait.

10) My dear renter, Earvin, decided he was leaving me last month after his lease expired. It kinda stressed me out a little because I was afraid we wouldn't get another renter right away. And I was afraid we would go back to doing shortterm rentals, which is a lot more to manage. Good news -- we found a new renter and with multi-year renting potential and the rental periods are seamlessly close. I love it when things work out this way. Whenever stuff like this works out this well, I can't help thinking, " I'm so glad I pay tithing." It may not be a direct blessing of tithing, but you never know. It just might be. And, in any case, I'm very grateful that investment hasn't blown up in my face quite yet. :)

Life Lessons From a Very Crappy Week

Things have been very tumultuous at my job lately. And they have been tumultuous before (I'm starting to notice a pattern). And as I'm sure you can understand, frequent episodes of upheaval and personal attack seem to cause me...mmm, distress. Regardless, I get up every day, put on my big girl panties, and go to my job to face the day. So far, it hasn't killed me and, shockingly enough, I have not yet run out of "big girl panties" (as a faithful Mormon, I try to keep a healthy stock of all emergency needs, including the panties.)

I've mostly felt frustrated, battered, angry, let down, sad, threatened and unjustifiably persecuted (if I thought it was justified then I'd be in REALLY bad shape). I was feeling pretty pit-poor yesterday. Probably the worst thus far. And I was feeling shocked and pit-poor the day before (though I'm not sure why I was shocked. As I mentioned, this happens at my job frequently enough that I should see it coming by now). I don't like being treated in this manner for the simple crime of having done my job. Dealing with people's egos appears to be akin to walking through a minefield. You can inadvertently step on one at any time, and when you do it will blow up all over you.

Today, I went to the gym for my lunch break, which I have not done in a couple weeks. I wasn't sure what I was doing there because I did not have any mojo in me to run or work out. But I knew I needed to get out of my office. And I figured, even if I didn't feel like it, I could walk. And as I pressed the button to accelerate my walking speed to "actually moving", I figured I could just TRY to run. I ran for 20 minutes at a nice light pace. And it felt good. I spent the whole time day-dreaming about my accuser being in a court room on the stand and me lambasting them for their foolish and incorrect arguments and accusations. I probably could have gone for a lot longer than 20 minutes. But, as I mentioned, I hadn't been running for two weeks. No need to get carried away. It was a refreshing run. Sometimes it's nice to know that even if you don't think you have it in you, if you try, you just might surprise yourself. I was grateful to find that.

Another thing I'm grateful for -- emotional exhaustion. I was really upset Wednesday. And quite demoralized yesterday. But today -- I'm really just too tired to care all that much. Subsequently, I feel a bit of relief. On occasion, a little bit of apathy can go a long way.

Tomorrow morning I am going to a rhythm & motion class at the Cincinnati Ballet with my friend Bette. I am going to salsa, leap and swing my hips. It's my effort to put an end to what has heretofore been a very crappy week. Goodbye week. Thank you for the survival lessons. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Perspective

Very recently, I have been approaching life experiences as something to be endured and trudged through. And then, after I have "survived" or "gotten through it", I will then emerge on the other end with a notch on my belt or a check on my list. I have just realized how incredibly, unbelievably inaccurate this view is.

While I do hope to "survive", it is not me that will emerge on the other end -- at least not me as I am right now. And a life experience isn't just endured (even if it's one you'd rather forgo). It is, ironically, to be experienced. It is something that at least should, and probably will, change you. And at the other end of the experience, while you will emerge, it will be a different you. One that will never be the same.

So, I guess what that means is I should choose my experiences carefully. While I can probably endure anything, and the experience will end, I will still have to live with whatever me emerges at the end of it.

Trying to Find the Right Words

Sometimes I find myself in conversation with friends and need to explain something about my religion. And I find myself, in these moments, fumbling for verbiage that people not familiar with the mormon faith might be accustomed to. The problem is, I'm not sure what their lingo is. And I'm quite certain it's not mormon lingo.

For example, I'm pretty sure that only in mormon circles is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints synonymous with "The Church". I think saying that in other places could be odd (if not downright offensive).

And what about "callings". Do other churches have callings? I DO try to refer to my "ward" as my "congregation" or "church". But that one is easier than other translations. Most translations really aren't very easy. I know there are other people who go to church and they can relate to my involvement with my faith because they are also involved with churches and faiths of their very own. But they all seem to understand each other, even if they're not of the same faith. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like our terminology is a lot funkier. And more prolific.

Who came up with all these funny names and terms anyway? Wards, stakes, branches, callings, endowments, high counselors, home teachers, FHE. Somebody was just saying to me the other day that they thought it was odd that we (us mormon folk) always refer to kids as "young men" and "young women". And I hadn't even thought of that one! But once they mentioned it, I had to admit, it's a kind of dated terminology. And yet, I almost can't NOT use it. It's so familiar, so ingrained. But if I think about it, it's kind of a silly thing to call 15 year old boys, "young men". I mean, they GO to "Young Men's", but can't they just be teenagers, kids, adolescents... something? Why do I not use these words? Okay, maybe it's not silly to use that phrase. And it does describe the name of the actual organization. But when speaking about teenage boys from church in general terms, do I have to refer to them as, "one of the young men?" (because apparently I do.) It just sounds a little stuffy, perhaps.

We have a lot of terms. All things considered, I'm surprised we didn't come up with another name for baptism and the sacrament. Then we could really be hard to understand. Maybe I will get together with someone of another religious persuasion and they can help me develop a guidebook with phrases and terms that other faiths are familiar with that we could use as substitutes. This would make it a lot easier to communicate and speak matter-of-factly about day-to-day religious topics without confusing people of other faiths with our odd terminology. And I do mean odd.

I know we're supposed to be a peculiar people and all, but did we HAVE to take it so far? I'm just sayin....

Don't get me wrong. I'm not really upset about all the terminology. I'm just somewhat challenged in my efforts to talk with greater ease about church matters as I talk in passing with non-mormon friends and colleagues. And I notice, often, that what I was about to say was something that would make absolutely no sense to anyone who doesn't attend my church.

Uncharted Waters

Life is always changing. I love it for that. And sometimes I hate it for that. As I grow older, and try to grow a little wiser, I try to make sense of where I'm going and where I've been. Of course, where I am is also a good place to look.

I'm working away at school and work. I'd like to finish my MBA. I think it's a good thing to do. And Ben and I are working on building up savings and paying off debts ( my car loan is the big ticket right now).

I still consider myself as being in an adjustment period, despite the fact that I have now lived in Cincinnati and been married for almost 2 years. I think I will always be in an adjustment period, no matter how long I'm married for or where I live.

My independent streak doesn't die easy. There are some things I love about the single life. I lived it for so long. By its very nature, it lends itself to a lot of personal indulgence and even decadence. Married life has its own decadence, but there's no question that you give up some personal freedoms and, for me, a certain amount of irresponsibility that I felt entitled to while single. I'm so much more responsible when married. It's by all measures a good thing, but it's still different. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket married -- good thing. I haven't gone on an unplanned, unfettered or unrestrained shopping spree either -- probably also good but much less fun. I haven't gone missing for an entire Saturday, doing whatever I fancied and telling no one, since married. I will cease and desist in the things I miss about my life as a single girl. Suffice it to say, a few past indulgences are missed.

Now that I have my own family, my place at church has also changed. Before, I was single and I dwelt in a realm of singles at church. Now I am a married. And while I dwell among married people, I also dwell (pretty exclusively) around married's who have children. Ah, yes.... children.

I was in a gospel doctrine class in my home ward in NJ last week and heard a poignant comment made by my old YW President, "we tend to think of ourselves as exceptions to the rule." I could be a little paranoid, but some things I've read in the Ensign and church lesson plans, and things mentioned in conversations I've had with close friends and family, were ringing in my ears when I heard that. Most notably:

"you shouldn't put off having children."
"Don't wait to have children until you think you can afford them".
"You shouldn't put your career before children."

Are you noticing a theme? People haven't necessarily said it just like that, and for the most part my family has been very unjudgmental (at least to my face) about our not having children yet. But advice is advice and the Apostles of the Church tend not to mince words. And in one way or another, It's obvious that I am guilty of all of these things. Up until about 2 years ago, I waited to have kids because I wasn't married. That's a really good reason, in my opinion. And by the time I got married, I had at least a couple of things I wouldn't have had if I'd gotten married earlier (mostly, I think of my car loan and mortgage). So, I tend to think of myself as a little bit of an exception. But I have other friends who were married around my age. And I am hard-pressed not to notice that they have children or/and are pregnant. Their reality is proof -- I COULD go ahead and have a kid. The real crux of the matter -- I don't think I want to yet. And I admit to wanting things to be, "just so" before I have children. I don't know if it's really ok or if it sets me off as going on a path that would be better diverted. But I find myself on this path all the same.

Here I am, 30, married, acquiring my 3rd degree, working full-time and still marveling at, learning from and watching the morphing of this thing called marriage. I have hopes of being a working mom, and of having adorable children to cart off to Primary on Sunday who cling to me for comfort, like I see children do with their parents. It all looks very appealing in my daydreams.

But in the literal, less day-dreamy, version, it is a very binding thing to become a mother. And in consideration of how responsible I've become since I got married, there's only one direction I can go with the gravitas of motherhood. I don't know how much more responsible I can stand to be. I fear I might get lost somewhere along the way. Moms do that. And I really like me, meaty thighs and all... as egotistical as that sounds. As far as I can tell, I'm the best me I've ever had.

And then, even aside from whether I'd be a happy mom, there's the other end of it: would I be a good mom? I know I'd get the kids clothed. I'm pretty sure I'd bathe them regularly, make them brush their teeth and make sure they're fed healthy food and are educated. But those are all task-oriented things. I'm good at check-lists. There is more than check-lists to parenthood.

I have lost a lot of my playfulness in my embracing of adulthood, and, admittedly, I lack understanding for the unreasonable things that children do. I think I will not be the most empathetic or fun mother. I will probably be a party pooper and sometimes stern. I may even be impatient. For some reason, I have an overarching fear that I will be like my grandmother. I feared my grandmother. My most clear recollection of her is having her reprimand me for whispering in the back seat of her car shortly after she had reprimanded me for talking... in the back seat of her car. Ok, so I don't think I'd do that. And I know I can be a fun adult. But I'm not sure I'm much of a fun mom. I suppose I can relinquish funness to Ben. Is it ok for a kid to only have one fun parent?

My past years have brought me many opportunities. For the last 10 years, I was left with the task of being a responsible, independent, self-sufficient, happy adult. I already started to wend my way through this life. I am no blank slate. I take ownership of that path and I have appreciated who it has helped me become. But what about this new job? Admittedly, I'm a little timid and reticent to totally let go of what I know. I'm fumbling and procrastinating the inevitability of my retirement. I'm bracing myself before relinquishing my past career as an unfettered female. I suppose you could fault me for wanting to leave things "just so" before I start on this next journey. But part of me think it's fair that after all those years, I should be able to leave things neatly and finish a few things up. After all, I didn't exactly choose to be single all those years. And that time wasn't a little part of me. Right now, although I know it's temporary, it seems like it's a whole lot of me. I marvel most at how free-wheeling my friends are in letting go of it. I don't know how they do it.

I'd like my life to be moving in a happy direction. And as I walk this path, I hope, above all else, that it is the right direction. It's anybody's guess. I haven't wended this way before and it's nobody else's way but my own. It could be alright. It could be all wrong. But note taken -- I'll try not to take exception to too many rules.