Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dating.....how tricky it becomes as you get older....are we all porcupines?

So, for all those familiar with my personal life, you may know, or not know, that I have taken a hiatus from dating for the last while....something to the effect of 2 or so years, maybe a bit more. Anyways, long story short, just recently, for a variety of reasons, I decided to get back in the dating game. Fun stuff I dare say (not really, but you gotta say something).

Anyways, it has become a completely now common for me to meet random girls for evenings on the town who I most likely will never want to see again! :) In meeting these random girls, a common thread has emerged, and that is the asking of a particular question....."why aren't you married?"

Now, I have no idea what the point of this question is. Is it someone thinking out loud and not stopping the train of thought before it passes through their lips....a wow factor (only in my dreams...I doubt this one)? For those unclear, it would be....wow this a great guy, how can I be so lucky and he not be married?

The second (and in my opinion more likely) is the investigative question of "what is wrong with you" and merely posing it less uncomfortably with "why aren't you married." This possibility of a question presupposes several things....1. There is something wrong with the person being their age and not being married (I'm 32 by the way). 2. The only reason they are not married is because there is something wrong with them, and 3. a complete naivete, in that you think someone that has something wrong with them is going to tell you on that early in the relationship or even, don't make me say it, first date.

Now, if you meet someone that might possess certain qualities that superficially would make them appear to be a good person to date/marry/be the other parent to your longed for offspring (decent looking, good job, good personality, etc.), might I suggest to you that you don't pose this question. Why might you not pose this question? Well for starters, let's look at the above:

If your purposes are the more than likely #2, the other party would naturally be inclined to assume the same "problems" with you. Perhaps if you are asking the question, you have a reason that you are not married, and their is something wrong with you for not being married.

If your purposes are #1...might I suggest you keep the party in your head to yourself for at least date #4.

Lastly, can't a guy be 32 and just not have met the one? Maybe he didn't screw up in his life, he just hasn't found the person that will be the jelly in his PB&J? Or maybe, he wasn't all that interested in getting married earlier?

As in a wonderful movie which I am a fan of, the question was posed....."How do porcupines mate?" Answer...."very carefully."

As you get older in life, life becomes more your own...no longer are you the carefree high school or college folk with all of your life's dreams and ambitions in front of you, yearning to find someone to walk the windy paths side by side in perfect harmony. Instead you are (hopefully) a professional of some accord, having achieved some (if not too many) of your life's goals....therefore making relationships more of a risk because they open the door to potentially messing with that finely tuned schedule which has allowed you to scale the ladders belong to the grapes of wrath, filling your life with more headache than answers. (Yeah, I might be a bit cynical here, I'm just painting a fun picture).

As we get older, does dating become more difficult, not because dating is more difficult but because we are? Are we porcupines?

Anyways, ladies (and gents) do not pose the question to the other "Why are you not married?" Pose it to your girlfriend over drinks, or your sister in a phone call, do not pose it to someone you might be interested in....it just makes a guy (or girls) want to think that you are not so careful!

Thoughts? Did I read the question wrong?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Absence...the likely story!

So, it is February 15, and well, as usual I have been absent. Life has been busy, but so busy, that I almost completely forgot about the dear blog...I hadn't even logged in to see what Sharona had written in the last several months.

Some things of note that have happened since my last posting (which I can't remember when it was, but I want to say November or December. Yes, I could check, but well, this is a blog, and blogs don't involve research, at least not this one.):

1. The year 2009 ended. Ahhh....another year under my belt. For some reason I really feel like 2009 was a great year, and that 2010 is really a whole new life...brighter things ahead, sunnier skies, fresh new faces, exciting new places (more on that later), and overall just good stuff.

2. I spent Christmas and the new year with my brother and Sharona in Minnesota! It was a wonderful time....cold as....well....it was cold, and I mean really cold. I am not sure how people live up there with weather like that, but eh, whatever. I ventured out of the house maybe 5 times, and 2 of those times were for church (I think)....at least 1 was to move a ping pong table (don't ask) and one was to go home......you can see how many times I went out of the house. I was afraid of losing a limb, a part of my body like an ear, nose, or an eye. The food was wonderful, gulash, galushka (sp?), some wonderful cider donuts (I wonder who brought those). We also spent more time playing games and watching movies than I have done in years, and I mean years....or at least since the last time I was with this group of vermin.

3. I can't remember very much else that has transpired by since I last wrote, but I am sure a lot. CSOT (the Constant State of Temporary) is becoming more and more of a referenced theory. I haven't heard anyone that doesn't know me use it, but I am sure that it will. It is really interesting to watch people react to the theory, think about it, apply it to their lives and really make a difference (in my humble opinion)...because no one is happy with that frustrating where am I going phase of life......or this is only temporary so I can't do anything phase of life.

4. Life after death......I don't really have anything to say about this. I haven't died, I am not aware of anyone that has died who was close to me, I just wanted to write it down. It popped in my head and I said, hey why not? :)

5. Talks - I gave a talk in church on Sunday on the topic "A Mighty Change of Heart" from Mosiah 5. I think it went well. It was (in my O-pinion) pretty decent. I tried to make people laugh, but only the youth laughed, and they were probably laughing at me! :) I basically related these mighty changes of heart are really works in progress and not overnight wonders. I related a story from the most recent Ensign entitled "Promise of the Temple" (or something like that) and how if you looked at the big picture, a part member family going to be a sealed family in the temple from the outside appears to be a "Mighty Change of Heart," however, it really just started with a woman who had the desire to take her kids to church one Sunday. I am a big believer in the little decisions in life, and those little decisions make up the big decisions in life, and if we don't take time to think about the little decisions, we'll be places we never thought we would be (and more than likely, not for the better)....yet if we do think about the little decisions, we may also end up in places we never thought we would be, but probably for the better and more enjoyable. I know I am in places I never thought (ok...I don't know that I can really say never, but that is not the point) I would be.

6. Travel. I already mentioned that I had traveled to Minnesota for Christmas, so I won't rehash. I also recently went to Orlando florida for a conference. That was a good time....Disney World here I come...I saw the fireworks over the Magic Kingdom castle, which was pretty cool, and I stroked my ego into thinking I was important....also pretty cool. :) They booked out one of the Universal Studio theme parks for us one night, so I got to go on the ride Men In Black one too many times. The Simpsons ride was fun....my first virtual rollercoaster...really was well done. I think they should make one of those that are purely intended to make you puke...kids would love it. On a travel related note, I am planning/thinking of going to China for a few months. I have never been, always wanted to go, and I think this summer would be a great opportunity. Who knows if I'll pull it off, but you won't pull off anything without planning for it, so here goes nothin!

7.Food. So, I finally figured out how to properly sear meats and fish. Odd that it has taken me to the ripe old age of 32 to figure that out, but now my scallops and tuna have that wonderful crusty exterior without being overcooked in the middle....hmmm hmmmm good. Last night I made a lovely Zucchini soup...a bit more flavor than normal as I added onions (I usually don't), celery (also usually a no-no in zucchini soup), a potato for thickness (it doesn't sound so much like zucchini soup anymore does it?), and I left out the ginger (I love a bit of ginger in my zucchini soup.) All in all, it came out really well. The viscosity was excellent, not to runny...just a bit of thickness, and really warmed me up on a cold winters night. Sprinkled some parmesan in there to add a bit of punch (I have some very pungent parmesan that I need to use). I also made some of my well known hummus...this time I added a smidgeon of avocado for that lovely yummy smooth texture and just a bit of paleness on the tongue....ahhh...it was lovely.
Other than that, I sent back my first plate to a kitchen at a restaurant the other night.....go figure. I ordered the duck with pomegranite sauce thinking that it would be moist and wonderful, with a sweet twist. Well, the sauce was sweet, plus 1 for the dish, the duck was dry.....what? Dry duck? I don't think I have ever had dry duck, but it was the dryness of a turkey from thanksgiving that had sat out for a day too long, that hadn't been allowed to rest after it cooked, and that stuck to your teeth as you chewed.....so not a lovely duck. So, I took 2 bites and was just like...you know, this isn't worth it, I'm not hungry enough to eat it (let's not talk about how spoiled I am at the moment ok? But since I have that searing thing down, yeesh I have gotten even more picky than I was before). Regardless, normally I never send something back, and it really isn't my style of going to a restaurant, but the waitress almost insisted. She was like "If you don't like it, I will take it back to the kitchen and get you something else...whatever you want". Sadly for me, my tolerance for main entree food was over, so I just sent it back, watched my meal companion eat away at some gorgeous but slightly overcooked walnut encrusted lamb (I think they had a problem due to the valentines day rush...but medium rare is supposed to be just a little bit more rare than medium in my opinion).

8. Construction. I have replaced doors in my house, and now have some lovely french patio doors....the double hinged glass view is absolutely gorgeous and really just makes me happy.

I think I have written enough for today. For today I must work...tomorrow I must work, and the day after that.....let's get real about this, work seems to be a common theme....and for some odd reason, I really enjoy it.

Til I am absent for a bit more time!