Tuesday, November 12, 2013

ALS And My Brother Jon

Something most people don't know about me. When I meet new people, and love them (Which I usually do. I can't help myself), there's one thing I want to do: I want to share them with the people I love -- aka my family. I imagine bringing them into the fold, and saying, " You're gonna love this." And then they would love it. I think I want to do this so they can enjoy the comfort, joy and love that is my family.  But I can't get you there, mostly because "there" does not exist. My family is geographically very dispersed. You'd think people who like each other so much would live closer together. Alas, 'tis not so.  But I can bring a little of my family to all of you, right here on my blog. And I can bring you no better than the fine specimen named Jonathon Tilton Neu. I shall tell you about him.

As many of you may be aware, my brother, Jon, was recently diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease, also called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, or ALS. As this news will likely be the impetus for many future posts, I'd like to tell you about my brother. First, he's pretty cute. And we Neu's are incredibly superficial, so we want you to know how good-looking we are, first and foremost. See picture of happy, adored son, devoted brother, and doting father below:



1. Thing to adore about Jon: he is hilarious. Both he and his wife Anne are a good time, in a red-neck, best not come here if you're too good for your britches, kind of way. Pretentious and self-important folk need not apply here. But you're missing out. Just sayin'.

2. Thing to hate about Jon: He's incredibly good at pretty much all strategy games. I love strategy games. And I'm decent at some of them. On some occasions I lose. I much prefer winning, but just by a little, so you still enjoy the game too and think you have a fighting chance. :) Sadly. I lose against Jon pretty much all the time. It's kind of unsatisfying, yet addictive, like gambling at a casino (a fitting analogy, as my chances of winning there are probably as good). My only solace is that everyone I have seen play has succumbed to defeat when they play with Jon. I don't know how he figures out how to win so fast. And while it's remarkable, it drives me crazy.

3. Thing to be worried about Jon: He has amazing power over children. They love him. And they want to do anything that he says just for the joy of pleasing him. I know, because I used to be that young kid and I would have done anything for Jon when I was little. (Ok, so that's still true). Sounds like a good thing, right? Yeah, UNTIL you consider the fact that I now have 28 nieces and nephews.  And while I don't normally worry about holding my own around people smaller than me, I have been made aware of the fact that 20+ of them CAN, in fact, throw you into a pool, whether you want them to or not, as long as Jon wants them to. Jon has a veritable army at his disposal. Small but mighty. You've been warned. 

4. Thing to admire about Jon: He's as strong as an ox. While the rest of us poor saps are portaging canoes by twos, Jon takes the heavy ones all by himself. I'm gonna guess he gets it from my farming grandfather on my mom's side. Us little Jews with my dad's genes just can't hack it.

5. Thing to relish about Jon: He's a feeder and he makes yummy food. Favorite foods to enjoy at his house include homemade pizza (he used to work at a pizza place in high school and they taught him good), goulash & galushka (did I mention we're Hungarian Jews?), all things barbecue, and wassail. And whenever planning a get-together with Jon, you can rest assured that food will be a primary consideration. Even ahead of sleeping arrangements. It's a big deal.

6. Thing to idolize about Jon: He has a heart of gold. he's taught me at least a few times about how to be less judgmental and to pay attention to important, as opposed to stupid, things. He has a gift for making people feel welcome and special. Maybe it's because he has a great laugh which he applies liberally, and he has a charming, witty, self-deprecating sense of humor.Whatever it is that he has, it disarms everyone.

7. Thing to take into consideration when doing anything with Jon: He has an intimate relationship with the laws of physics, and tests them regularly, with mostly success but some fails. You wanna know how large of a bonfire you can build next to your house without catching your home on fire? Jon knows. You wanna know how to handle an off-road vehicle without flipping over or pitching anyone off? Jon mostly knows. I think. You wanna know how fast and curvy you can drive the boat without killing the people riding on the tube you're pulling? You hope Jon knows. Because he's the one driving. You wanna know the limits of the power of a potato gun? I'm not sure, but I'm gonna guess Jon knows. I'm sure he's come across one. Jon's experience with most things imbues a naive level of confidence in his ability to take care of you while getting very close to the limits of important laws. Like gravity. Momentum. And Thermodynamics. And you wade into the situation thinking, "It's all good because he's tested the limits already." And that's true. And he'll verify that it's true, and that everything is good. And it IS all good... until you realize he's still "testing".

8. Thing to always remember about Jon: Call him Philippe. No, really. Do. Why? Well, my Dad is French, so he probably didn't know better. And my mother is innately very accommodating. But being the good mother she is, she couldn't let that happen, so she went back to the hospital to have it changed on the birth certificate to Jonathon. Only, she didn't know it was too late. Philippe would never totally be gone when there were six siblings to remember Philippe existed.

9. Thing to grin about Jon: Sometimes he makes sounds like Yogi Bear. It's awesome. 

10. Thing that makes this thing about Jon really hard: He has a huge presence, and is sorely missed when he's not there. 

Tom Hanks is my favorite actor.And I know he's an American sweetheart to many for a number of reasons, but I think TH was bound to be my favorite one because he looks like Jon. I named my car Tom Hanks, as associating the car with both the actor and  my brother makes me smile on a regular basis.

So, here's my brother Jon. You can fall in love with him too. I will probably be talking a lot about him and expounding on meditations on life and faith that have occupied my mind and heart since his diagnosis. More to come. Much love to you all.