This past monday, Ben went grocery shopping. All by himself. You may think this is minor, but it's really not. We've been married for over 1 1/2 years. Ben's insatiable desire to help me out has overcome his better judgment and brought him where he dared not go before -- the grocery store. Did I mention this is the 2nd time? And the first time was about a month ago.
Some things about me going back to school I really, really love.
Showing posts with label marriage.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage.. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Nightlife
Perhaps you are all wondering what Sharon and Ben do with their time all the way out there in the suburbs of Ohio. Perhaps you wonder what they look like these days.Perhaps you wonder what kind of trouble they are managing to get themselves into. Well, then read on blog buddies, read on. And if that's not the kind of blog entry you were hoping for, then too bad.
I will recount for you, AND show pictures of three nights spent here in Ohio.
First, some lovely photos, if you wonder what Sharon and Ben are looking like now a days, here are a couple of prime shots that should give you an idea:
Nice eh? You can thank Ben for this view. I would have put up pictures of our amazing form or animation whenever we got strikes, as I recall taking shots like that of Ben. However, Ben is apparently not really into getting lots of different shots, and when he was the man with the camera and I was up to bowl, it appears this is the only view he bothered to take a picture of. I don't know quite how to read that. Either it's big enough he thinks he can't get another angle or he just really likes it.
I have however, been improving on my ad hoc couple shots. Here's are faces after date night (we're both smiling because at the end of three grueling games, Sharon finally managed to break 100. Otherwise, only Ben would be smiling. :))
That was the weekend, when we get all wild and crazy-like and do wild and crazy-like things, like bowling. It's quite the thing out here, actually. We live within 5 minutes driving distance of 3 bowling alleys. And the first one we went to was still doing league games and had no room for us on their lanes. Serious, it's serious business out here.
On the more mild weeknights, however, Sharon and Ben do milder things. Like take walks. On some of these nights, Sharon needs convincing to go on walks despite the fact she likes exercise -- like when there are piles of snow everywhere. As it turns out Sharon (I just like talking about myself in the third person sometimes. It's amusing.) likes to shovel snow and she likes to snow shoe in it. But she doesn't really care to play in it nor does she appreciate the cold air that accompanies it whenever it comes. But Ben succeeded in giving her a puppy dog face for long enough to take a walk. Here are photos of the little jaunt around the neighborhood:
I was trying to look happy in that shot, but I really just wasn't convinced this whole "walk in the snow" idea was that great.
Here you see a very happy man making a snow angel. He was very proud of his work after he was finished. I was invited to enjoy this lovely past time, but declined. As I mentioned before, I like to shovel snow (I know. Wierd) and I like to snow shoe, but not really to play. When did I get so adultish and dull?
And above you can see how clever a couple we really are. We walked to the local park on our street, which isn't really a park at all. It has a sign stating that it's a park, in case you didn't realize, which you wouldn't because all it is is about 1/16th of an acre of ground with a gazebo at the end of a cul de sac full of houses. Nonetheless, Ben thought we should make use of these public lands for our own amusement and asked what word art we should put in the snow. I tried to think of something witty -- like a funny quote or pop phrase. The only thing that came to mind was "Obama Mama". Don't ask me why. I don't even know what that is. But I had no desire to write anything politically related in the snow and I couldn't think of any fun quotes because I suck at stuff like that, so I was left to Ben's brains. He thought up " I Love Snow". So we went with that. But then we realized, the geniuses that we are, that we were writing to big for our little park to fit the words without going into someone's front lawn so we had to find a smaller phrase. And thus the ever-universally unoffensive, and the most statementless publicly graffitied EVERYWHERE phrase of all phrases came into being: I "Heart" U. We're no better than a doodling 5th grade girl in the bathroom.
Last of all. We have just last night for our "Nightlife" overview, which shall be recited in scriptural form:
Book of SharonBen
Chapter 1
1) And Ben said unto Sharon, Wilt thou cut mine hair, so that I may not look so like Samson and present myself to my fellow men in this disheveled state?
2) But husband, Sharon said, Why dost thou entreat me to do such a thing when thou knowest I have no formal education in such matters?
3) Dear wife, said Ben, I have laid myself at the hands of lesser artisans at Great Clips, where great harm has befallen me, and entreat you that I think you wilst do no worse harm, and may even serve me better, and we will be able to save our dinaro for better things. Hast thou cut hair before? Ever?
4) Why yes, dear husband. Four times have I cut hair, for my people living in the lands far east of here. But they were desperate and poor. And we lived in Russia where no one cared.
5) Well, said Ben, then let us begin.
6) And Sharon said unto her husband, "Perhaps we shall delay this until a few morrows from now. In the event that some harm may befall your head at my hands, we may travel to the abode of some artisan who can repair it. At this late hour, you shall have to work tomorrow with whatever my hands have done.
7) To this Ben said, "Nay wife. For we have tonight to do it and shan't waste this time."
8) And so Sharon and Ben delayed no more and Sharon brought forth the shearing tools and made work with her hands. And all the while she wondered why he didst insist on this evening. Though what he says is true that they had an available night, she puzzled at why he would make haste, as they have almost every night available. And she pondered these matters in her heart.
9) Behold Sharon and Ben's first hair cut together.
And after the hair cut was over, Ben looked at the effects of this work. And smiled and said, It is good.
I will recount for you, AND show pictures of three nights spent here in Ohio.
First, some lovely photos, if you wonder what Sharon and Ben are looking like now a days, here are a couple of prime shots that should give you an idea:
Nice eh? You can thank Ben for this view. I would have put up pictures of our amazing form or animation whenever we got strikes, as I recall taking shots like that of Ben. However, Ben is apparently not really into getting lots of different shots, and when he was the man with the camera and I was up to bowl, it appears this is the only view he bothered to take a picture of. I don't know quite how to read that. Either it's big enough he thinks he can't get another angle or he just really likes it.
I have however, been improving on my ad hoc couple shots. Here's are faces after date night (we're both smiling because at the end of three grueling games, Sharon finally managed to break 100. Otherwise, only Ben would be smiling. :))
That was the weekend, when we get all wild and crazy-like and do wild and crazy-like things, like bowling. It's quite the thing out here, actually. We live within 5 minutes driving distance of 3 bowling alleys. And the first one we went to was still doing league games and had no room for us on their lanes. Serious, it's serious business out here.
On the more mild weeknights, however, Sharon and Ben do milder things. Like take walks. On some of these nights, Sharon needs convincing to go on walks despite the fact she likes exercise -- like when there are piles of snow everywhere. As it turns out Sharon (I just like talking about myself in the third person sometimes. It's amusing.) likes to shovel snow and she likes to snow shoe in it. But she doesn't really care to play in it nor does she appreciate the cold air that accompanies it whenever it comes. But Ben succeeded in giving her a puppy dog face for long enough to take a walk. Here are photos of the little jaunt around the neighborhood:
I was trying to look happy in that shot, but I really just wasn't convinced this whole "walk in the snow" idea was that great.
Here you see a very happy man making a snow angel. He was very proud of his work after he was finished. I was invited to enjoy this lovely past time, but declined. As I mentioned before, I like to shovel snow (I know. Wierd) and I like to snow shoe, but not really to play. When did I get so adultish and dull?
And above you can see how clever a couple we really are. We walked to the local park on our street, which isn't really a park at all. It has a sign stating that it's a park, in case you didn't realize, which you wouldn't because all it is is about 1/16th of an acre of ground with a gazebo at the end of a cul de sac full of houses. Nonetheless, Ben thought we should make use of these public lands for our own amusement and asked what word art we should put in the snow. I tried to think of something witty -- like a funny quote or pop phrase. The only thing that came to mind was "Obama Mama". Don't ask me why. I don't even know what that is. But I had no desire to write anything politically related in the snow and I couldn't think of any fun quotes because I suck at stuff like that, so I was left to Ben's brains. He thought up " I Love Snow". So we went with that. But then we realized, the geniuses that we are, that we were writing to big for our little park to fit the words without going into someone's front lawn so we had to find a smaller phrase. And thus the ever-universally unoffensive, and the most statementless publicly graffitied EVERYWHERE phrase of all phrases came into being: I "Heart" U. We're no better than a doodling 5th grade girl in the bathroom.
Last of all. We have just last night for our "Nightlife" overview, which shall be recited in scriptural form:
Book of SharonBen
Chapter 1
1) And Ben said unto Sharon, Wilt thou cut mine hair, so that I may not look so like Samson and present myself to my fellow men in this disheveled state?
2) But husband, Sharon said, Why dost thou entreat me to do such a thing when thou knowest I have no formal education in such matters?
3) Dear wife, said Ben, I have laid myself at the hands of lesser artisans at Great Clips, where great harm has befallen me, and entreat you that I think you wilst do no worse harm, and may even serve me better, and we will be able to save our dinaro for better things. Hast thou cut hair before? Ever?
4) Why yes, dear husband. Four times have I cut hair, for my people living in the lands far east of here. But they were desperate and poor. And we lived in Russia where no one cared.
5) Well, said Ben, then let us begin.
6) And Sharon said unto her husband, "Perhaps we shall delay this until a few morrows from now. In the event that some harm may befall your head at my hands, we may travel to the abode of some artisan who can repair it. At this late hour, you shall have to work tomorrow with whatever my hands have done.
7) To this Ben said, "Nay wife. For we have tonight to do it and shan't waste this time."
8) And so Sharon and Ben delayed no more and Sharon brought forth the shearing tools and made work with her hands. And all the while she wondered why he didst insist on this evening. Though what he says is true that they had an available night, she puzzled at why he would make haste, as they have almost every night available. And she pondered these matters in her heart.
9) Behold Sharon and Ben's first hair cut together.
And after the hair cut was over, Ben looked at the effects of this work. And smiled and said, It is good.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Risky Questions
It was a normal evening. I had just picked Ben up from work and we were home. I was warming up the experimental dinner I'd prepared -- potato salsa fritatta -- and we were catching up on our days. And then the question came --
Ben: "So, how are those placebo pills working?"
Sharon: "What do you mean?" Pause...
Sharon: "Oh. Well, I haven't started my period yet. But it's only day two and it may take some time for my hormone levels to go down. I think I'm still adjusting to the birth control pills."
Ben: "Oh. Ok. Well, what if you don't get your period?"
Sharon: "Well, I have to start it. That's how the female body works. I'm not on the regular pills, so with the placebo pills my body will naturally start its period. It has too. It's cyclical, like the seasons. My body just does that."
Ben: "Right. But what if you DON'T start it?"
Sharon: ----------
Ben: "Sharon?"
Sharon: "But that wouldn't make any sense. I've been on the pill the whole time."
Ben: "Maybe it doesn't work for you."
I think I flat-lined for a few moments. ANd then I came back to consciousness. Loudly. And furiously.
WHAT!?!? And then the fear took hold. Is it possible that I am a super, unstoppable reproductive machine? Really? That doesn't seem quite fair. I don't really wanna be preg-- preg-- preg-a-nent. I mean. It's totally not a good time. I need to get a job. I have had a total of THREE different jobs this year. It doesn't look good to end like that. I'll have no future.
This world of having people ask me if I'm pregnant and suddenly realizing that each time, shockingly, this is actually possible, is frightening the bejeebers out of me. They need to stop asking me.
Then came despair. I'm totally out of shape right now! And they don't let you get back into shape while you're pregnant. They say that's bad. It would be so cruel to be stripped of my gym membership, be forced into out-of-shapeness and gain a few pounds and then be thrown into the depths of pregnancy. I can't even.... I don't know if I can bear it! And I've taken the pill so faithfully! Ok, there was the two day slip up while I was traveling. But after that two day slip up, I verified with TWO nurses that it would still work AND I didn't let you touch me for a month! How is this possible?!?
How can I, in good conscience, go to job interviews knowing I'm pregnant? And do they have policies like insurance companies that get them out of being considerate if you have a previous condition? And what about Sharon Charles? I suppose I can just work through and it doesn't have to change much. But it's a kid? If it doesn't change much doesn't that mean I'm ignoring the kid? I mean.... it's just not a good time. We've been married for like a day. I know I said I'd be sad for a while and then I'd get over it.... but I'm really thinking I might be sad for a REALLY LONG time. I could need longer than 9 months to get over it and be happy. I wouldn't have that much time....
It's happening. And I don't even have a choice. I have been taken from my job and thrown into housewife status and NOW I'm going to be insta-preggo right after? I SO did not think I was signing up for this! It's like a bad dream. Now I'm going to be shopping at target for the rest of my life. And I'll find myself adding cream of something soup to everything I cook. And I'll start wearing sweat pants and.....
I feel so... so TRICKED! They tell you sex is ok after you're married. But if you're a super, reproducing machine like me -- IT'S NOT TRUE. It's NEVER safe.
Then, from nowhere, a small ray of hope: It's ok. It's only day two. I could still start. I have a whole week to start. I want cramps. I want cramps. Start. Start. Please? No cramps. Please start? Nope. Now? Still no cramps. I waited all night. It was SUCH a long night. Ben put a movie on to distract me. The Aviator. Not a bad film. It worked. A little.
This my friends, was quite possibly the longest night of my life. OK, not really. But it was TOTALLY overwhelming! And reaffirmed that, though it may be socially and religiously appropriate and permissable to have children at this time, I really REALLY don't want any yet. I know, I know. Very unfemale instictual of me. But I just don't have the "I wanna be a mommy" gene. It's not my fault! Maybe it is. But it is, nonetheless, true. It makes me very weird. It may change in the future. But it's just how I am at the moment. I can't help it.
Alas, all is well and I woke up this morning with my wish. I am safe for now. And I've never been so delighted for cramps and all that attends them in my entire life.
But I think Ben should be aware that it is a great detriment to the future of our sex lives to ask me questions like that. Really.
Ben: "So, how are those placebo pills working?"
Sharon: "What do you mean?" Pause...
Sharon: "Oh. Well, I haven't started my period yet. But it's only day two and it may take some time for my hormone levels to go down. I think I'm still adjusting to the birth control pills."
Ben: "Oh. Ok. Well, what if you don't get your period?"
Sharon: "Well, I have to start it. That's how the female body works. I'm not on the regular pills, so with the placebo pills my body will naturally start its period. It has too. It's cyclical, like the seasons. My body just does that."
Ben: "Right. But what if you DON'T start it?"
Sharon: ----------
Ben: "Sharon?"
Sharon: "But that wouldn't make any sense. I've been on the pill the whole time."
Ben: "Maybe it doesn't work for you."
I think I flat-lined for a few moments. ANd then I came back to consciousness. Loudly. And furiously.
WHAT!?!? And then the fear took hold. Is it possible that I am a super, unstoppable reproductive machine? Really? That doesn't seem quite fair. I don't really wanna be preg-- preg-- preg-a-nent. I mean. It's totally not a good time. I need to get a job. I have had a total of THREE different jobs this year. It doesn't look good to end like that. I'll have no future.
This world of having people ask me if I'm pregnant and suddenly realizing that each time, shockingly, this is actually possible, is frightening the bejeebers out of me. They need to stop asking me.
Then came despair. I'm totally out of shape right now! And they don't let you get back into shape while you're pregnant. They say that's bad. It would be so cruel to be stripped of my gym membership, be forced into out-of-shapeness and gain a few pounds and then be thrown into the depths of pregnancy. I can't even.... I don't know if I can bear it! And I've taken the pill so faithfully! Ok, there was the two day slip up while I was traveling. But after that two day slip up, I verified with TWO nurses that it would still work AND I didn't let you touch me for a month! How is this possible?!?
How can I, in good conscience, go to job interviews knowing I'm pregnant? And do they have policies like insurance companies that get them out of being considerate if you have a previous condition? And what about Sharon Charles? I suppose I can just work through and it doesn't have to change much. But it's a kid? If it doesn't change much doesn't that mean I'm ignoring the kid? I mean.... it's just not a good time. We've been married for like a day. I know I said I'd be sad for a while and then I'd get over it.... but I'm really thinking I might be sad for a REALLY LONG time. I could need longer than 9 months to get over it and be happy. I wouldn't have that much time....
It's happening. And I don't even have a choice. I have been taken from my job and thrown into housewife status and NOW I'm going to be insta-preggo right after? I SO did not think I was signing up for this! It's like a bad dream. Now I'm going to be shopping at target for the rest of my life. And I'll find myself adding cream of something soup to everything I cook. And I'll start wearing sweat pants and.....
I feel so... so TRICKED! They tell you sex is ok after you're married. But if you're a super, reproducing machine like me -- IT'S NOT TRUE. It's NEVER safe.
Then, from nowhere, a small ray of hope: It's ok. It's only day two. I could still start. I have a whole week to start. I want cramps. I want cramps. Start. Start. Please? No cramps. Please start? Nope. Now? Still no cramps. I waited all night. It was SUCH a long night. Ben put a movie on to distract me. The Aviator. Not a bad film. It worked. A little.
This my friends, was quite possibly the longest night of my life. OK, not really. But it was TOTALLY overwhelming! And reaffirmed that, though it may be socially and religiously appropriate and permissable to have children at this time, I really REALLY don't want any yet. I know, I know. Very unfemale instictual of me. But I just don't have the "I wanna be a mommy" gene. It's not my fault! Maybe it is. But it is, nonetheless, true. It makes me very weird. It may change in the future. But it's just how I am at the moment. I can't help it.
Alas, all is well and I woke up this morning with my wish. I am safe for now. And I've never been so delighted for cramps and all that attends them in my entire life.
But I think Ben should be aware that it is a great detriment to the future of our sex lives to ask me questions like that. Really.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Why-o, why-o, why-o would a girl move to Ohio?
And why would she leave the perfect job that she JUST started a week ago? And why would she leave a free-rent house-sitting position? And why would she leave all of her family & friends she loves to see?
I can tell you why. Because I am getting married and my fiance just accepted a job offer in Cincinatti. I can't believe it! Ohio! What the heck is in Ohio?! Three of the 5 fastest-dying cities in the nation, if you read & believe MSN. THAT'S ENCOURAGING!
It has been a decision of a lot of mixed emotions for Ben & I. My job here is not one I have much of a hope of finding again. So, that's a bit painful. And we really weren't thinking to leave Utah for another few years. We had a great set up here and so many friends & family.
However, it's a great job opportunity for Ben. There is also potential for great educational opportunities for Ben out there. All things taken into consideration, it's the best thing for us to do. Especially because his current employer is just a few notches below the level of ridiculous that MY previous employer was. That is BAD.
And on my side, while it may sound like a big sacrifice, it's not so much when looking objectively: while I may not find THIS nonprofit job again, there are nonprofit jobs absolutely everywhere. And I can run the dress business from anywhere. I never realized before how portable me and all of my careers are. I'm incredibly versatile. And handy. Biotech pharmaceutical companies ---- are not everywhere.
One of the most interesting elements of this whole situation is the unexpected satisfaction I get in being able to support Ben. The sacrifice of my treasured job and all the things I have held dear here is strangely rewarding. It's like I'm offering that up as a kind of contribution, "payment in good faith" to our relationship. I'm gonna be SUCH a good wife! I can already tell. And so humble too!
Weird. All this marriage stuff. We're not even married yet. And torture of all tortures, he'll actually be starting work in Ohio on Sept. 8th, so I don't even get to see him the last two weeks before the wedding. Then again, that may be a good thing. No need to worry about being good behavior....
So, all in all, Ohio doesn't sound THAT bad. Don't get me wrong. It WOULD. But it sounds a lot better to me with Ben there. Marriage..... it certainly changes things. And people.
I can tell you why. Because I am getting married and my fiance just accepted a job offer in Cincinatti. I can't believe it! Ohio! What the heck is in Ohio?! Three of the 5 fastest-dying cities in the nation, if you read & believe MSN. THAT'S ENCOURAGING!
It has been a decision of a lot of mixed emotions for Ben & I. My job here is not one I have much of a hope of finding again. So, that's a bit painful. And we really weren't thinking to leave Utah for another few years. We had a great set up here and so many friends & family.
However, it's a great job opportunity for Ben. There is also potential for great educational opportunities for Ben out there. All things taken into consideration, it's the best thing for us to do. Especially because his current employer is just a few notches below the level of ridiculous that MY previous employer was. That is BAD.
And on my side, while it may sound like a big sacrifice, it's not so much when looking objectively: while I may not find THIS nonprofit job again, there are nonprofit jobs absolutely everywhere. And I can run the dress business from anywhere. I never realized before how portable me and all of my careers are. I'm incredibly versatile. And handy. Biotech pharmaceutical companies ---- are not everywhere.
One of the most interesting elements of this whole situation is the unexpected satisfaction I get in being able to support Ben. The sacrifice of my treasured job and all the things I have held dear here is strangely rewarding. It's like I'm offering that up as a kind of contribution, "payment in good faith" to our relationship. I'm gonna be SUCH a good wife! I can already tell. And so humble too!
Weird. All this marriage stuff. We're not even married yet. And torture of all tortures, he'll actually be starting work in Ohio on Sept. 8th, so I don't even get to see him the last two weeks before the wedding. Then again, that may be a good thing. No need to worry about being good behavior....
So, all in all, Ohio doesn't sound THAT bad. Don't get me wrong. It WOULD. But it sounds a lot better to me with Ben there. Marriage..... it certainly changes things. And people.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Wedding Updates
Ben & I were driving back from Roy area last night after having helped his brother & family move into a new home. As we passed the Bountiful LDS Temple on the highway, Ben said, " Six more weeks..." It took me a moment to clue into what he was talking about. And then I uttered a passive, calm "Oh yeah..." And then, just a moment after, I uttered a loud MENTAL, "OH MY GOSH! Are you serious?!" Only six weeks.... That's impossible! We totally aren't ready yet. We have so much to do!
Indeed we do. But I exxagerate a bit. I really just think we have "SO MUCH" because I don't have absolutely EVERYTHING already done. This sets me ill at ease. Always. But we're making good progress.
- We tried on tuxes yesterday (okay, so really Ben tried them on and I critiqued.)
- I am going cake tasting with my sister tonight.
- My ring should be coming in any day now (I have never been one to ogle or even give a flying fig about wedding rings, so I am shocked at myself when I realize I am SO EXCITED for it to finally come. I really am!)
- My wedding dress jacket just came in and it fits!!! Hallelujah.
- We took engagement photos last week and should get them back very soon. I'm not really sure why I anticipate this so much, as I know exactly what Ben and I look like in pictures. I've even seen Ben & I in pictures together before. With the amount of excitement I have, it's like I expect to see us magically transformed into some version of Angelina and Brad that people would obviously recognize to be Ben & I in the photos. I just don't get myself sometimes.
- bridal showers are being planned. I apologize to all friends and family who feel obligated to come. But I really hope you do! What can I say? I'm mean & selfish like that. And we will endeavor to make them as fun and un-bridal-shower-hokey-boring-like as possible.
Of course, there are a few things in the air still. We don't have the honeymoon pinned down yet. Nor do we know for sure what state (both physically & mentally)we will live in POST-wedding, I haven't decided whether or not to have a veil, haven't found the shoes yet, still need to figure out amounts of food for the reception, create an agenda for the reception, talk more with the band, send out invitations....
I think I just like to get riled up and torture myself into a frenzy by listing off the myriad of things I haven't done yet. It'll get done, I'm sure. And I'm really excited it's getting closer. Sometimes I think, "Oh, let's just be married already." But we will be. Soon enough. Most definitely soon enough.
Indeed we do. But I exxagerate a bit. I really just think we have "SO MUCH" because I don't have absolutely EVERYTHING already done. This sets me ill at ease. Always. But we're making good progress.
- We tried on tuxes yesterday (okay, so really Ben tried them on and I critiqued.)
- I am going cake tasting with my sister tonight.
- My ring should be coming in any day now (I have never been one to ogle or even give a flying fig about wedding rings, so I am shocked at myself when I realize I am SO EXCITED for it to finally come. I really am!)
- My wedding dress jacket just came in and it fits!!! Hallelujah.
- We took engagement photos last week and should get them back very soon. I'm not really sure why I anticipate this so much, as I know exactly what Ben and I look like in pictures. I've even seen Ben & I in pictures together before. With the amount of excitement I have, it's like I expect to see us magically transformed into some version of Angelina and Brad that people would obviously recognize to be Ben & I in the photos. I just don't get myself sometimes.
- bridal showers are being planned. I apologize to all friends and family who feel obligated to come. But I really hope you do! What can I say? I'm mean & selfish like that. And we will endeavor to make them as fun and un-bridal-shower-hokey-boring-like as possible.
Of course, there are a few things in the air still. We don't have the honeymoon pinned down yet. Nor do we know for sure what state (both physically & mentally)we will live in POST-wedding, I haven't decided whether or not to have a veil, haven't found the shoes yet, still need to figure out amounts of food for the reception, create an agenda for the reception, talk more with the band, send out invitations....
I think I just like to get riled up and torture myself into a frenzy by listing off the myriad of things I haven't done yet. It'll get done, I'm sure. And I'm really excited it's getting closer. Sometimes I think, "Oh, let's just be married already." But we will be. Soon enough. Most definitely soon enough.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Common Concerns
Lately, I have had lots of concerns running around my head. They are common in that they are becoming frequent and ongoing for me at the moment, so very common to me. Like constant companions, almost. The reason I address these concerns is because I am in a slump of sorts or some kind of funk. I think. I've recently become an extremely low-functioning multi-tasker. I can tell because my bedroom is messy. Maybe I'm in an dysfunctional state of shock. I think back to the period in my life when I used to always keep lists of things to do and I tell myself, "I should do that again." There are two options: 1) this is temporary, or 2) I am headed down a sliding slope to which there is no uphill. I'm not exactly sure what my little slump is caused by. Overwhelmed? Busy? Tired? More importantly, I don't think I should be in and tell myself daily that I need to get out of said slump. But maybe it's only natural. A phase that will pass in its own due course. My current state and constant companions are these:
1. I'm terribly unmotivated to work out lately. This is SO not like me.
2. This means that I am also not feeling very "fit" and like my usual self. (This is especially cause for concern because my wedding dress was just shipped out today from China and I am afraid, if I don't get out of this slump, I may not fit into it by the time it arrives.)
3. I fear this lack of motivation could have some weird subconscious connection to the fact I'm getting married and I will, henceforth, quit working out altogether and gain lots of weight, like a lot of folk do when the get married. But I really don't think so. At least I hope that's not the case.
4. Some things in regards to planning a wedding take a lot longer to do than I thought they would. Who would have thought that getting a ring and picking a photographer would be endeavors that take 2 months? One of the million reasons I could never just up and get married.
5. The dress business -- can we really pull this off in time? Crunch time is coming. We're supposed to have sample dresses within the next month and a half. And we're supposed to sell them. And they're supposed to fit people. And fit the very well. Really? Can we swing that? We have samples to make, fitting of patterns to make sure the samples will be what we want, sample makers with schedules I can't remember, business cards we don't have yet, a fashion illustrator who isn't me so I can't know telepathically how far along she is at any given moment and when she will have our illustrations done, a mind-boggling lack of any previous experience in this line of business... seriously. What was I thinking?
6. If it takes this long to figure out the ring and the photographer, how are we ever going to manage getting to the catering, the cake, the honeymoon, the invitations, the engagement pictures, registering, the bridal shower..... time is not my friend right now.
7. Did I mention I'm turning into human lard right now? Seriously, the tone I've lost in my arm muscles and which has since become "soft tissue" grosses me out. What's that doing there! But I refuse to tell myself I have to work out. There are fundamental problems with that approach to working out. I really have to want to in order to get myself to do it.
8. Interviewing for new jobs... I found out my present boss is crazy and liable to get my entire organization sued at any given moment. This causes me a little bit of concern, so I have opted to look around a little bit, despite the fact I've only been at my present job for 5 months. I have interviews to go to, and positives and negatives to weigh. Then, you throw in the fact Ben keeps on talking about looking for jobs, only his options are in places like Boston and Cincinatti and.... that's just all kind of confusing.
9. I think my brain is on overload and my body has become dysfunctional.
10. I'm afraid my severe lack of attention to detail and random dead-heading and watering without any nutritional supplements to my mother's rose garden may strain my family relationships, specifically with -- my mother.
11. I can't even remember. But I'm sure there's something else to worry about. I'll get back to it.
12. Oh yeah. I remember. They say marriage changes things. But what exactly does it change? My brother says I won't travel so much. Really? And what's all this baby talk people keep throwing around? And all those accounts and documents and stuff that we have to update/notify/consolidate/close/I don't know what. All of that is a bundle of big, gray fuzz to me.
13. Visiting teaching.... right. On it. Oh, darn. I was on it. I'm on it. Darn. Missed it again. Okay, I'm REALLY on this time. Really.
Clearly, there is some stuff that may be cause for stress. But I think, despite the fact I have a few things going on, I should be energetic and, task-oriented and in a go-get-em kind of scheduling mode and fitting in as much as I can. But much of me has become a vegetable of sorts. I could manage more. But I'm on mental sensory overload and instead of rising to the occasion, I'm misfiring and my various systems are malfunctioning and shutting down. Time to reboot. Reboot #@*! it!
1. I'm terribly unmotivated to work out lately. This is SO not like me.
2. This means that I am also not feeling very "fit" and like my usual self. (This is especially cause for concern because my wedding dress was just shipped out today from China and I am afraid, if I don't get out of this slump, I may not fit into it by the time it arrives.)
3. I fear this lack of motivation could have some weird subconscious connection to the fact I'm getting married and I will, henceforth, quit working out altogether and gain lots of weight, like a lot of folk do when the get married. But I really don't think so. At least I hope that's not the case.
4. Some things in regards to planning a wedding take a lot longer to do than I thought they would. Who would have thought that getting a ring and picking a photographer would be endeavors that take 2 months? One of the million reasons I could never just up and get married.
5. The dress business -- can we really pull this off in time? Crunch time is coming. We're supposed to have sample dresses within the next month and a half. And we're supposed to sell them. And they're supposed to fit people. And fit the very well. Really? Can we swing that? We have samples to make, fitting of patterns to make sure the samples will be what we want, sample makers with schedules I can't remember, business cards we don't have yet, a fashion illustrator who isn't me so I can't know telepathically how far along she is at any given moment and when she will have our illustrations done, a mind-boggling lack of any previous experience in this line of business... seriously. What was I thinking?
6. If it takes this long to figure out the ring and the photographer, how are we ever going to manage getting to the catering, the cake, the honeymoon, the invitations, the engagement pictures, registering, the bridal shower..... time is not my friend right now.
7. Did I mention I'm turning into human lard right now? Seriously, the tone I've lost in my arm muscles and which has since become "soft tissue" grosses me out. What's that doing there! But I refuse to tell myself I have to work out. There are fundamental problems with that approach to working out. I really have to want to in order to get myself to do it.
8. Interviewing for new jobs... I found out my present boss is crazy and liable to get my entire organization sued at any given moment. This causes me a little bit of concern, so I have opted to look around a little bit, despite the fact I've only been at my present job for 5 months. I have interviews to go to, and positives and negatives to weigh. Then, you throw in the fact Ben keeps on talking about looking for jobs, only his options are in places like Boston and Cincinatti and.... that's just all kind of confusing.
9. I think my brain is on overload and my body has become dysfunctional.
10. I'm afraid my severe lack of attention to detail and random dead-heading and watering without any nutritional supplements to my mother's rose garden may strain my family relationships, specifically with -- my mother.
11. I can't even remember. But I'm sure there's something else to worry about. I'll get back to it.
12. Oh yeah. I remember. They say marriage changes things. But what exactly does it change? My brother says I won't travel so much. Really? And what's all this baby talk people keep throwing around? And all those accounts and documents and stuff that we have to update/notify/consolidate/close/I don't know what. All of that is a bundle of big, gray fuzz to me.
13. Visiting teaching.... right. On it. Oh, darn. I was on it. I'm on it. Darn. Missed it again. Okay, I'm REALLY on this time. Really.
Clearly, there is some stuff that may be cause for stress. But I think, despite the fact I have a few things going on, I should be energetic and, task-oriented and in a go-get-em kind of scheduling mode and fitting in as much as I can. But much of me has become a vegetable of sorts. I could manage more. But I'm on mental sensory overload and instead of rising to the occasion, I'm misfiring and my various systems are malfunctioning and shutting down. Time to reboot. Reboot #@*! it!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Wedding Plans
It's kind of an interesting thing to plan a wedding.
See, I've never really sat & planned out my wedding, browsed through wedding magazines or made seasonal centerpieces in anticipation of the big day. As a matter of fact, the whole seasonal centerpiece thing is something I hadn't even heard of until yesterday, when my sister was telling me she felt like a weirdo because she was one of the few BYU female students who wasn't preoccupied with this activity. I happen to think that particular activity sounds kind of.... weird. Who does that?
Anyhow, despite my lack of preparation, anticipation and research on the subject, I am glad to find that I pretty much know what I want. Colors -- check. Temple selection -- check. Reception style -- check. Dress -- check. Not that I'm saying it's easy to put it all together. It takes time. And pains. And coordination. And vendor research. But it's just not rocket science.
Ben likes to be involved in some of it -- things like picking out the venue, the photographer... The rest is kind of overwhelming for him. Truthfully, even those couple of things are kind of overwhelming for him. I give him small doses of wedding details to deal with at one time. Otherwise, I might make him implode.
Since having gotten myself into all this I have discovered a few things about wedding plans, which I think hold true to wedding planning in general.
Rules of Wedding Planning:
1) You WILL offend someone. Guaranteed.
2) The consumerization (is that even a word?) of weddings and that mass conglomerate of businesses that make up the wedding industry are: absolutely ridiculous! Since when is a wedding supposed to cost the equivalent of the downpayment on a house? Or a college education? I don't get it.
3) Lots of photographers, not so many venues. Prioritize reservation-getting accordingly.
4) Hiring a band, coincidentally, is a great way to inspire your fiance to want to take dance lessons. Just a perk, if you're interested. (It was completely unintentional and uncoerced, I swear.)
5) You need only get a couple wedding magazines, really. And you can probably get them from someone else without having to buy them. (something I discovered after having spent about $40+ on my own mags and then being gifted with a pile-full from friends).
6) You should make a great effort to save money and refrain from frivolous expenses in an effort to help with wedding costs, honeymoon expenses and to save for your future together. Unless, of course, a $130 handbag that you absolutely love and must have attacks you while shopping. (I'm not feeling any guilt about that purchase whatsoever. Really... Okay, maybe a little. Alright, a lot. But I need it! Is this going to be the effect EVERY time I do something like this? I really used to enjoy buying guilty pleasures with very little guilt.Please tell me these days aren't over!?!??)
Ahh, marriage. It's kind of an interesting thing.
See, I've never really sat & planned out my wedding, browsed through wedding magazines or made seasonal centerpieces in anticipation of the big day. As a matter of fact, the whole seasonal centerpiece thing is something I hadn't even heard of until yesterday, when my sister was telling me she felt like a weirdo because she was one of the few BYU female students who wasn't preoccupied with this activity. I happen to think that particular activity sounds kind of.... weird. Who does that?
Anyhow, despite my lack of preparation, anticipation and research on the subject, I am glad to find that I pretty much know what I want. Colors -- check. Temple selection -- check. Reception style -- check. Dress -- check. Not that I'm saying it's easy to put it all together. It takes time. And pains. And coordination. And vendor research. But it's just not rocket science.
Ben likes to be involved in some of it -- things like picking out the venue, the photographer... The rest is kind of overwhelming for him. Truthfully, even those couple of things are kind of overwhelming for him. I give him small doses of wedding details to deal with at one time. Otherwise, I might make him implode.
Since having gotten myself into all this I have discovered a few things about wedding plans, which I think hold true to wedding planning in general.
Rules of Wedding Planning:
1) You WILL offend someone. Guaranteed.
2) The consumerization (is that even a word?) of weddings and that mass conglomerate of businesses that make up the wedding industry are: absolutely ridiculous! Since when is a wedding supposed to cost the equivalent of the downpayment on a house? Or a college education? I don't get it.
3) Lots of photographers, not so many venues. Prioritize reservation-getting accordingly.
4) Hiring a band, coincidentally, is a great way to inspire your fiance to want to take dance lessons. Just a perk, if you're interested. (It was completely unintentional and uncoerced, I swear.)
5) You need only get a couple wedding magazines, really. And you can probably get them from someone else without having to buy them. (something I discovered after having spent about $40+ on my own mags and then being gifted with a pile-full from friends).
6) You should make a great effort to save money and refrain from frivolous expenses in an effort to help with wedding costs, honeymoon expenses and to save for your future together. Unless, of course, a $130 handbag that you absolutely love and must have attacks you while shopping. (I'm not feeling any guilt about that purchase whatsoever. Really... Okay, maybe a little. Alright, a lot. But I need it! Is this going to be the effect EVERY time I do something like this? I really used to enjoy buying guilty pleasures with very little guilt.Please tell me these days aren't over!?!??)
Ahh, marriage. It's kind of an interesting thing.
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