Tired, oh so tired!

*****WARNING SHALLOW MATERIALISTIC CENTRIC POST BELOW.....READER BEWARE******

So, I don't know how to follow up on a post like that, after all, mine is going to seem so lame compared to that insanely overdramatic, yet life altering potential experience. But, I guess you got to suck it up and move on from there...so I'll post anyways. After all, it is post here or post on my law firm blog, and who really wants to do that? :)

So let's see, the house renovations are coming along. One room should be done this weekend and the rest is just about to be started I think (crosses fingers that money still comes in from somewhere). Work hasn't been speedy to start the year, but networking has been exhausting, and I am not sure how and/or where it is coming from...and I have gotten some good projects in lately which always makes me happy, but alas, I digress into thinking about what I always think about and not what I wanted to be thinking about (see what happens when I talk about renovations and money....always back to work work work work work.)

After reading Sharona's post about risky questions, I wondered what in the world would be risky questions to ask me....and I realized I don't have any...go figure. Not that I state that there are any issues that don't concern me, or I hope never materialize, but I don't think there is a question that could be posed that would make me freak out all night, or that would send me into a tizzy...but I doubt that any question could be posed that may have as an immediate impact on my life as Sharona's, except for ones that I have fully come to grips with and while I do hope they never transpire, am fully aware that they could.

That all being said, I woke up this morning exhausted, and I mean exhausted...and it has only been a few days since I have been at it...am I getting old? Well we all know the answer to that....impossible, but I had an interesting conversation yesterday that led me to ponder about this in my sleep.

A very wealthy individual whom I know and I work with and I were sitting down discussing a deal, and somehow we got on the topic of Madoff and the whole ponzi schema and related....and some how we got on to this individual that has manufacturers in various countries that make lots of clothing and what not, and how this one guy lost all of his money with Madoff, and how he couldn't change the guys mindset into how to make lots of other money another way, blah blah blah blah blah...and then he said something that made me think:

"Most people make all their money in life in a 20 year period, usually between their mid-twenties to their mid-forties, and sometimes into their fifties....but usually they work really hard for ten years, and then work hard and reap the benefits of the next ten, and then live off of basically their really hard work for the next fifty."

Now obviously he was talking about people that make some seriuos dough...we aren't talking about people that make $40-$50k a year (not that there is anything wrong with that...just not the context of the conversation)....but it was interesting that his thoughts were 1. you work hard for 20 years, and 2....really most of it comes in the first 10 years, but you still work hard for another 10 while you are just starting to cash in on that hard work.

For me, I couldn't imagine that I would only work hard for 20 years...it just seems odd...does that mean that I won't work as hard as the guys that get really rich, and therefore, I am destined to work at this pace for the rest of my life? Cause although I do like to work hard, I don't know if I could keep this pace up for the next 40. Anwyays, just a very lame shallow money based post.

Thoughts?

Diversify, Diversify, Diversify

What to do, what to do.... Currently, I find myself going in a million different directions. As usual. Good to know I am, if nothing else, consistent.

Working and having an education in the nonprofit field and being involved in revenue development, I have a keen understanding in the need for diversified funding sources, which is a very sensible adherence to the belief that you should not "put all your eggs in one basket." Nonprofits are better positioned and more stable when they have at least 12 to 15 different sources of income. That way, if one should pull out on you, it won't sink your organization.

Well, apparently I take this advice to heart. As I see it, I am, on a smaller scale, my own little nonprofit. Heaven knows most of my personal pursuits are of the kind that suck money rather than generate income, which is as nonprofit as it comes. And indeed, I have found that my approach towards income, as well as marketability and experience, is to diversify, diversify, diversify. I can't help it.

Take NOW for an example:

1) I work at a nonprofit organization. I'm also currently (please don't tell my boss), looking for a job at another nonprofit organization.

2) I also work part-time at a clothing store.I like it there. A fun little fact about our store: we were just featured in a NY Times article last week. I almost felt famous because I work there.

3) I like to sell things on Ebay when I come to possess things I don't have a use for or no longer want. I like doing that. It amuses me.

4) I have a studio in Park City that doesn't really generate revenue, but it does generate tax breaks and equity.

5) In addition, I am applying for a slightly higher-paying part-time job at a restaurant. I, of course, have no intention of quitting the first part-time job at the clothing store, as I like the store, they are nice to me and they need help. I will simply take on this and then pop in and work at the clothing store "whenever I have time."

6) New and incredibly fun, I am starting to design dresses and my sibling and I have in the works plans for launching a women's line of formal dresses: beautiful, well-made, dare I say "sexy" and classy dresses for women who prefer not to walk around half-naked in order to catch someone's eye.

7) And then, there is the LSAT and contemplation of undertaking three years of law school and taking the bar to become a lawyer.

That's not 12-15 sources, and they don't all generate revenue yet, but it's more than a handful of options. How do I not feel all over the place? The answer to that: I do. But I'm used to it. I've had my hand in too many honey pots since I was a freshman in high school. The only difference is when I was in high school all my honey pots were non-revenue producing clubs and activities (I've grown slightly more lucrative in my old age). With these 7 or so pursuits, one might think that my basket "overfloweth". And, to be honest, I really wonder how one person can do all of this. I don't know that it's possible. I think I need five lives to be able to do all the things I have an inclination to think are interesting and want to pursue.

Who knows if all of it will happen. Does it really matter if it doesn't? I don't think so. And it won't happen if I say it won't and don't try, right? So, try is what I do every day. I get done what I can get done, take life as it comes, and make plans. Some plans don't happen. Some do. Some succeed. Some fail. I've been on the job search for a better and better-paying job for about 3 or 4 months now and what I have uncovered? Most recent: 2 "no, but thank you for interviewing's" this week. OUCH. And yet I have hope.

I got down about it once and told my boyfriend, Male, I felt unemployable. He laughed and reminded me that I currently have three jobs. It's easy to get down about interviewing and about opportunities you want that don't seem to come easily. But I think, when I am thinking rationally, even though my present situation doesn't reflect it right now, that I will have the income, ability and time to take all the risks I need to pursue whatever I want. Maybe even everything on my list. I'm young yet, and throughout my life I imagine I'll be in many different phases and places. One thing I like about being born in this age as opposed to 30 years ago is that careers now-a-days change so much and people pursuing new things is commonplace. So, I'll keep talking crazy and making lots of plans. Diversify, diversify, diversify.

I Live At Home

These days, if you're single and on the dating market, the words "I live at home with my parents" will stop many motivated potential mates dead in their tracks. Especially if you're a man. The idea of most men living at home with their parents says to prospective female companions, " I never grew up, mom still does my laundry and pays my phone bill, and I will probably pick her dinner over yours." These messages, among others that come to mind, are a big DO NOT BOTHER sign for many women. This is especially true when it's an older male who is of an age when he should have been able to graduate from college, and/or start a career and most definitely find life outside of video games. There is a certain point in men's lives when they should want to acquire their own space. Then they would subsequently have the independence and privacy which comes along with it. Even more so, you'd think they would like to be able to make out on the couch without worrying about getting caught. Am I right?

Such a double standard. Since I started graduate school, I moved back in with my parents. Going back to school is a fair reason to move back in, right? I thought it sounded pretty good. But here I am a year after graduation and I still "live at home with my parents." I'm 27 years old. And it's not because I can't afford to move out. I got my golden job opportunity after graduation. I make enough to live on my own. But then, are all ALWP's (Adults Living With Parents) equal offenders?

I often think my situation is very different from the middle-aged males still living with their folks. First of all, living with my parents still affords me an entire floor of the house and, therefore, much privacy. I take that back. First of all, I'm not a man. I'm a woman. There's a difference there. Secondly, what I said before. Also, I pay my own bills and do my own laundry and have a career. I am anything but a homebody. I've already lived away from home for over 5 years. And the folks are very unimposing and easy-going.

Really, it seems like an optimal situation for saving money on rent. Any of these living situation factors being less desirable would likely change my opinion and I would probably move out. I may not have even moved in in the first place. Were any of my personal attributes different, I would think I should be circumspect for being overly dependent and lacking the mojo and backbone to grow up. But I seem pretty healthy (not that I'm biased or anything.).

Speaking with a coworker from Latin America gave me even more fervor in my smart choice to live at home. The idea of having her children find their own place were they in my situation, coming from her Latin American background, isn't a symbol of independence. It's nonsense. Why would you live away from your family if you weren't married? It's a waste. And so far away.

Ahh! How liberating. Not only will I save on rent. But I shall cast off silly American consumer-minded, overly entitled, ideals that make no sense. How cool. It's clearly the best thing to do until I have reason to leave. I am nothing like those slackers who haven't grown up yet and can't take on the responsibility of providing for themselves. I'm independent. Yo.

Or am I? Truth be told, I don't know if I see myself as much different from "them" (I find it fascinating that it is so fun and easy to condemn a group, simply by labeling them as "them"). Even with my excellent situation, I still see negatives to living at home:

Negative #1: My parents are not incredibly overbearing, but they do have their opinions. And every now and again, when I finally get home, my mother will find her way up the stairs and give me the two cents she's been holding onto all week about whatever she thinks about the current status of myself and my beau, or her concern for how I work too much or don't get to church often enough or.... hmmm... so maybe her two cents' are actually the equivalent of a few dollars.

Negative #2: There is a joy in having your own space to decorate, to move into all the way, to roam and make noise as you see fit, which is less doable when you live in someone else's house. I do not decorate. It's not my house to decorate (though I'm not sure I'm much of a decorator anyway. But maybe I am. Who knows.) I also do not expand into other rooms. Everything that is mine is crammed into my bedroom. If I lived in my own place, many things would move to a living room area or an office or something like that. And I would be less cramped and perhaps more organized. And I would not have piano lessons going on in the living room when I would like to read in peaceful quiet, or to cause a raucous with workout music in that very room.

Negative #3: I do like to respect my parents and their wishes. Really, I do. I'm a sucker for being obedient AND a peacemaker -- doublewhammy.It is likely, however, if they were less privy to the details of my life, they would less frequently voice their wishes. And I would be unable to go against wishes I did not know about. And without all their wishes and advice floating around in my head, I imagine my decisions and persuasions would be slightly different and I would be....... more independent. Oh my. Hmm. Wait a minute? I'm not totally independent?

Even if I am mostly independent, I am still dependent. And I don't think it's that healthy interdependent stuff that therapists talk about as a good thing. I may have a healthy amount of social circles to run around in. I may rarely be home because I'm busy living my life. I may pay for all of my own expenses and never borrow from my parents. I may be, by nature, very mentally independent and capable of making my own choices. I may be responsible and able to manage my life. But there is an element of dependence that is virtually unavoidable if a child, now a grown adult, still lives at home. You can't get around it. At least I haven't figured out how.

And then, of course, there are the obvious dependencies. Benefits of the food they feed me (I've never cooked for myself, even when I lived away from home. I was very good at 5 minute meals, microwaving, and eating meals of questionable contents and portion sizes. This does not bode well with parents.). And they bought me a microwave and a blender because they noticed I didn't have one (which they probably wouldn't have noticed if they did not see my kitchen.) Mmmhmm. You see as well as I do, I'm quickly starting to rack up quite a bill. Taking into account all the in-kind donations, suddenly somebody is not looking very independent. That somebody would be me.

Yes, I can move out. Moving out only comes with a more expensive price tag. But, as a self-sufficient adult who can manage a budget just fine and has provided for herself for years, it's clearly not just the money that keeps me at home. Not to say money isn't a factor. Admittedly, I do value money and don't like to waste it. If living in my own place were a free thing, there is no question I would do that. In fact, saving money is, in whole, why I live at home. But, while it is the great advantage, it is not the only consideration. Perhaps the reasons for moving out and being independent should way heavier than I have accounted for thus far in my lists of pros and cons. The question is: how detrimental is it for ALWP's to live at home? Even in a best case scenario? Whenever possible, should ALWP's just suck it up and move out?

Money, money, money

Last week, a friend offered me a job. Actually, she told me about two jobs at her company to which she wanted me to apply. Two jobs that pay considerably more than my measly little nonprofit job. Not only do they offer more, but they require less of me. For them, I need to know how to run an office and answer phones. For my job, I have to have a master's degree......

That's enough to make a girl think. And boy, have I been thinking! I thought a lot about the money. I like money. Heck, I have TWO JOBS, just so I can do stuff with all that money. But then I decided not to apply.

"Sharon, you are nuts!" you say. I know. I can also hear my dad's advice playing in my head over and over, as it's never quite drowned out. He says, "Ultimately, you work to make money. The end." So true. And yet, not ONLY to make money. There are louder voices.

Why I'm not going to apply:

1) My job hired me with the desire/intent to have me stay for about 2 yrs. Maybe I won't give them a full two years, but I've only given them 11 months so far. And they've had a lot of staff leave lately. I'd really be screwing them over if I left. So, I don't think I'd leave even if I applied and they offered me the position.

2) I'm actually using my degree at my job, and it gives me great experience. That could be very valuable for a future doing what I WANT to do and getting paid more later, rather than taking a no brainer job that could lead me to more no brainer jobs in a career that pays but has no appeal to me. If money was the only priority, would I have studied nonprofit management?

3) If money was the only priority, would I have studied nonprofit management? (I thought that point was worth reviewing... why DID I study nonprofit management????:))

4) I think I can convince my boss to give me a raise at my year mark. And that's only a month away.

5) If I don't get a raise, I can at least give back to the org. for the great experience they've given me. And I am optomistic that after that point, there will be more opportunities to make more money. It's not like that's the only job on the planet that will ever come my way.

6) Ahh, but HR's look at my previous salary, and just having a higher salary might get me better pay doing what I like to do in the future... I thought about that. But I don't think that applies the same way to the nonprofit field. They don't have the flexibility with their salary budgets that for-profit companies do.

7) Why be faithful to an empoloyer? Employers aren't that faithful to employees. Do what's best for you... a sound, good argument. I've been burned before and am leary of employers. But my job is pretty secure where I am. And they've treated me well. And it is a cause I am passionate about. And I have projects I want to see through to the end.

8) One could always make more money. But do I really need more money? Right now? Nah...

9) I really am a little crazy.