The What Ifs in Life

I am not sure why, but, I have had a lot of discussion as of late about the "What Ifs" in life. What if this happens, or what if that happens, or I don't want to do this or that because what if that happens. In essence, these uncertainties lead people to hold on otherwise smart and important decisions in life. Whether it is changing jobs, buying a house, getting married, buying clothes (ok maybe that isn't a good example), moving, doing anything that might seem smart, knowledgable, or enjoyable. Now, I make no comment in this regard with respect to financial stability or mitigating loss, as much as the thought pattern and philosphical approach in decision making.

Through this, I have come to give this "Freeze Frame" a title. It is called a "Constant State of Temporary". I have noticed this in many facets of life, both my own and others. Everything from...stopping people from making changes or construction on a house, or the way people fix or repair lamps in their apartment, to the way people select their engagements for free time.

For starters, life is completely temporary. I think we know this. There are few decisions that we make in life that will not at some point be altered. Whether job, house, clothes, car, ....I'll leave spouse out of this, just for good intentions sake....whatever. Anyways, the entire life is temporary, yet we wait to make decisions based on a variety of factors, and often times it is the "what ifs" of life.

The Constant State of Temporary is best illustrated by a few scenarios...and don't be critical, the scenarios are just being made up on the fly...it isn't like I sketch these posts out and what not...and there is no way that I can compete with Sharona and her posts of illustrious people, intriguing stories, colorful pictures, and drama...so suffice it to say....I'll stay with my bland philosophical musings, engaging grammatical suggestions, and heartfelt critiques of society!! :)

Less I digress more...scenario 1. wow....I thought this would be totally easier than I thought it would without reflection on recent conversations....uggghhhh....ok, those that may read this that remember us discussing the given scenario are asked to forgive said reference in the fact that it is anonymous and could apply to a large swath of the population.

Ok Scenario 1 take 2 :) : Let's say you have some free time (not a lot, just a couple hours a week maybe), and some extra cash lying around. You've always wanted to open your own business, but you don't because you are worried about the what ifs. Now, not taking into account that the what ifs might be that your boss would find out and throw you out....no that is not what we are talking about. We are talking about what ifs that are purely dependent on yourself....and your close relations. What if life throws a curveball? What if I can't continue with the business? What if the business becomes so successful that to continue I have to quit my job? Do you see how the what ifs can prevent action? Not that you shouldn't think about the What ifs...I am not stating that, more simply, that what ifs are a part of life, and shouldn't prevent action. Obviously what ifs need to be considered, because there is always some risk involved in every decision...and some the consequences are much larger than others. For instance in Scenario 1....what do you have to lose? that you would fail? Ok, so you may lose some money that could have been used on another venture. If that is the concern, you have to value the option as a financial loss and hope it pays off, or else, don't do it. The boss finding out and kicking you to the curb is not a what if, but a serious risk that nieeds to be considered. Perhaps something you should either discuss with your boss o rlook at the realistic probabilites of the situation.

Scenario 2 (I hope I don't get into trouble with this one): Let's say you want to own a house, you are a single individual, whether male or female it doesn't really matter. You are worried about buying a house out of fear that one day you will 1. get married and thereby all the concerns of your spouse not liking the house fall in to play 2. something else will happen, like you lose your job or something, 3. what if my owning a house will make it more difficult to find a future spouse/partner 4. something else crazy, like I don't know, this isn't my concern...so I can't think of all the what ifs.

Now, some of these concerns may be more legitimate than others, but I propose that it should not fall on the what if, but your desire and the "reality of the situation". Let's go on a debunk of what ifs....reason 1. you can always sell the house...does it make sense then that you shouldn't buy one? What is better....paying rent or paying a mortgage? 2. Well, if this scenario were the reason you shouldn't buy a house, no one will buy a house...save a little money and put it away. 3. This has a lot more involved in the other ones, in that it is a completely emotional/subjective concern...I would submit....if they were intimidated by you owning a house...would you want to be with that person? and 4. Something else logical....the point being that there is no concern listed that would prevent action ro is seriously a concern in making the decision to buy or not buy a house like...1. I can't afford it....2. I don't really want to deal with owning a house or 3. some other non-desire scenario.

Scenario 3. (This one will surely get me into trouble, if you don't know why, just trust me, it will.) So, suppose that you have an individual in your life (how much in your life is potentially irrelevant as all the factors should apply regardless) that you would like to up the ante with so to speak. In other words, that you would like to increase the amount of dedication/dependance that you have with one another. Whether you are in a relationship that you would like to take a step further, married and want to rededicate some portion of your lives together, or you just met (or didn't meet yet as the case may be) and want to give it a whirl for funnsies sake....(yes the author of the weekly word just used the word funnsies). Now relationships have more what ifs than almost any other situation you could imagine. They are the most fragile of eggs at any given tipping point (by the way, the tipping point is a great book for anyone that needs a good read), whether it be from friends to more than friends (or friends with benefits as the case may be), or more than friends to significant others, or significant others to whatever is next in your linear hierarchical progression as to the interdependenace and dedication of two (or more) individuals to each other. The What Ifs in this scenario may have more immediate affects than other previous scenarios. But the short answer is....what do you have to lose? With every what if, the answer to the question what do you have to lose should point you to your answer for action or inaction? If the answer that you have more to lose than seems like a rational or good decision, well then, don't do it. If you don't have much to lose other than what you are fine with losing, then accept the fact that it is lost, hope that it isn't, and give it a whirl.

I have outlined a few simple (or not so simple...but probably common) scenarios that will surely get me into trouble later on down the road if not the not too distant future (I hope that all recognize that no identifying marks have been left, so no one in the world should know who you are!). I am very interested in the thoughts of others on the Constant State of Temporary and the what ifs in life.