The What Ifs in Life

I am not sure why, but, I have had a lot of discussion as of late about the "What Ifs" in life. What if this happens, or what if that happens, or I don't want to do this or that because what if that happens. In essence, these uncertainties lead people to hold on otherwise smart and important decisions in life. Whether it is changing jobs, buying a house, getting married, buying clothes (ok maybe that isn't a good example), moving, doing anything that might seem smart, knowledgable, or enjoyable. Now, I make no comment in this regard with respect to financial stability or mitigating loss, as much as the thought pattern and philosphical approach in decision making.

Through this, I have come to give this "Freeze Frame" a title. It is called a "Constant State of Temporary". I have noticed this in many facets of life, both my own and others. Everything from...stopping people from making changes or construction on a house, or the way people fix or repair lamps in their apartment, to the way people select their engagements for free time.

For starters, life is completely temporary. I think we know this. There are few decisions that we make in life that will not at some point be altered. Whether job, house, clothes, car, ....I'll leave spouse out of this, just for good intentions sake....whatever. Anyways, the entire life is temporary, yet we wait to make decisions based on a variety of factors, and often times it is the "what ifs" of life.

The Constant State of Temporary is best illustrated by a few scenarios...and don't be critical, the scenarios are just being made up on the fly...it isn't like I sketch these posts out and what not...and there is no way that I can compete with Sharona and her posts of illustrious people, intriguing stories, colorful pictures, and drama...so suffice it to say....I'll stay with my bland philosophical musings, engaging grammatical suggestions, and heartfelt critiques of society!! :)

Less I digress more...scenario 1. wow....I thought this would be totally easier than I thought it would without reflection on recent conversations....uggghhhh....ok, those that may read this that remember us discussing the given scenario are asked to forgive said reference in the fact that it is anonymous and could apply to a large swath of the population.

Ok Scenario 1 take 2 :) : Let's say you have some free time (not a lot, just a couple hours a week maybe), and some extra cash lying around. You've always wanted to open your own business, but you don't because you are worried about the what ifs. Now, not taking into account that the what ifs might be that your boss would find out and throw you out....no that is not what we are talking about. We are talking about what ifs that are purely dependent on yourself....and your close relations. What if life throws a curveball? What if I can't continue with the business? What if the business becomes so successful that to continue I have to quit my job? Do you see how the what ifs can prevent action? Not that you shouldn't think about the What ifs...I am not stating that, more simply, that what ifs are a part of life, and shouldn't prevent action. Obviously what ifs need to be considered, because there is always some risk involved in every decision...and some the consequences are much larger than others. For instance in Scenario 1....what do you have to lose? that you would fail? Ok, so you may lose some money that could have been used on another venture. If that is the concern, you have to value the option as a financial loss and hope it pays off, or else, don't do it. The boss finding out and kicking you to the curb is not a what if, but a serious risk that nieeds to be considered. Perhaps something you should either discuss with your boss o rlook at the realistic probabilites of the situation.

Scenario 2 (I hope I don't get into trouble with this one): Let's say you want to own a house, you are a single individual, whether male or female it doesn't really matter. You are worried about buying a house out of fear that one day you will 1. get married and thereby all the concerns of your spouse not liking the house fall in to play 2. something else will happen, like you lose your job or something, 3. what if my owning a house will make it more difficult to find a future spouse/partner 4. something else crazy, like I don't know, this isn't my concern...so I can't think of all the what ifs.

Now, some of these concerns may be more legitimate than others, but I propose that it should not fall on the what if, but your desire and the "reality of the situation". Let's go on a debunk of what ifs....reason 1. you can always sell the house...does it make sense then that you shouldn't buy one? What is better....paying rent or paying a mortgage? 2. Well, if this scenario were the reason you shouldn't buy a house, no one will buy a house...save a little money and put it away. 3. This has a lot more involved in the other ones, in that it is a completely emotional/subjective concern...I would submit....if they were intimidated by you owning a house...would you want to be with that person? and 4. Something else logical....the point being that there is no concern listed that would prevent action ro is seriously a concern in making the decision to buy or not buy a house like...1. I can't afford it....2. I don't really want to deal with owning a house or 3. some other non-desire scenario.

Scenario 3. (This one will surely get me into trouble, if you don't know why, just trust me, it will.) So, suppose that you have an individual in your life (how much in your life is potentially irrelevant as all the factors should apply regardless) that you would like to up the ante with so to speak. In other words, that you would like to increase the amount of dedication/dependance that you have with one another. Whether you are in a relationship that you would like to take a step further, married and want to rededicate some portion of your lives together, or you just met (or didn't meet yet as the case may be) and want to give it a whirl for funnsies sake....(yes the author of the weekly word just used the word funnsies). Now relationships have more what ifs than almost any other situation you could imagine. They are the most fragile of eggs at any given tipping point (by the way, the tipping point is a great book for anyone that needs a good read), whether it be from friends to more than friends (or friends with benefits as the case may be), or more than friends to significant others, or significant others to whatever is next in your linear hierarchical progression as to the interdependenace and dedication of two (or more) individuals to each other. The What Ifs in this scenario may have more immediate affects than other previous scenarios. But the short answer is....what do you have to lose? With every what if, the answer to the question what do you have to lose should point you to your answer for action or inaction? If the answer that you have more to lose than seems like a rational or good decision, well then, don't do it. If you don't have much to lose other than what you are fine with losing, then accept the fact that it is lost, hope that it isn't, and give it a whirl.

I have outlined a few simple (or not so simple...but probably common) scenarios that will surely get me into trouble later on down the road if not the not too distant future (I hope that all recognize that no identifying marks have been left, so no one in the world should know who you are!). I am very interested in the thoughts of others on the Constant State of Temporary and the what ifs in life.

Weekly Word: Farding

Oh, you are gonna love me for this one.

Yes yes, I know you don't know this word, and I know you know the word it sounds like...but gentlemen, if you want to have a little fun with your special lady friend, or for that matter, just as long as she is a lady friend, doesn't have to be all that special. Or ladies, if you enjoy a little potty mouth every once in a while, or wish to show a little literary hi-brow to those gutter minded men around you, then Farding is the word for you.

So. let's start with what Webster's has to say about Farding:

Main Entry: fard
Pronunciation:\ˈfärd\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French farder, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German faro colored — more at perch
Date: 15th century
1: to paint (the face) with cosmetics
2 archaic : to gloss over
— fard noun archaic

So, next time you are late for dinner, and it happens to be because your special lady friend isn't ready...you can quite literally to tell her to stop Farding.....and let's go! :)

Do I Look Green to You?

I believe that a person who can accurately see themselves in the world as they are and as other people perceive them, including the ability to accurately acknowledge their own flaws and circumstances is a person who has great power. Without the knowledge of knowing who you are and where you are in life and in the pecking order, how are you to get to where or become who you want? And how do you know how to or, in fact, how you actually do relate to others? This kind of self-knowledge is very powerful. And I used to think I was, in recent years at least, doing really well on this score. But I think I'm wrong. In fact, I am finding this year that I have great cause for concern. Great cause, people!

I have been learning a lot of new things about myself this year. Earlier this year, in a conversation with my very perceptive co-blogger, I came to the realization that I am ........(drum roll) a competitive person. Really, I had no idea. But, according to him, that was more of a "DUH" kind of a thing and should not have been very shocking to me.

Earlier today, and a few times before (amidst years of scandalous dating behavior and an ongoing shoe fetish) I realized that, on some subconscious level, I live my life as a mormon version of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. She may be the role model of my subconscious. I'm not sure. But I do like her. And the most recent supportive evidence of my suspicion in this regard came from browsing some popular celebrity hair styles on MSN. I realized, as I saw Sarah Jessica Parker's hair-do amongst the fashionably coifed celebrity slides, that her hair was exactly what I was going for. I had no idea all this time I've been growing it out until that moment(I swear). But I can't help myself. She finally made big hair good-looking! And I have big hair. Maybe that's where my love for her began....



I digress. Forgive me. Onto this other thing about me. Well..... I haven't quite figured it out. Maybe you can help me.

See, I was talking to a co-worker this morning at my new job. She asked what exciting thing I was doing this weekend. I explained that I was very delighted because I was finally planning on going to Findlay's Market tomorrow morning. For those who don't know, Findlay's Market is the big farmer's market with locally grown food & other goods located in downtown Cincy. It's cool and trendy and fun and all that jazz. And they have food, which my kitchen does not have. I've wanted to go for so long, and I think I actually have a shot of getting there tomorrow.




Anyhow, my coworker and I somehow went from Findlay's Market to the topic of being "green" and I mentioned that I am often, to my surprise, perceived as being very green by others, even though being green is something that I have a hard time with sometimes.



Kermie relates to me on this front. It's not easy being green. And I do have a hard time. For instance:

1) I bring reusable bags with me to the grocery store now, but I have YET to actually remember to bring them out of the car and in with me to the grocery store to use! I can't remember for the life of me!

2) And while I like the idea of going to farmer's markets and eating locally grown food, tomorrow will be the first time I've actually shopped at a farmer's market. If I even get there.

3) I also waste a lot of water doing the dishes. I refuse to wash dishes in a sink full of stagnant water, progressively getting dirtier and dirtier, dish by dish. It is just so gross to me.

4)And I keep my cell phone charger plugged in to the wall socket ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I'm terrible.

5) I also have no garden. Green people totally have gardens.

6) And I'm totally not PETA-approved either. I've owned a vest made of rabbit fur (I sold it on Ebay though, so I don't have it anymore), and even right now as I am typing I am wearing a leather jacket, a leather belt and leather cowboy boots. I totally kill animals. And my jeans are from BeBe. I hate BeBe (or at least their ad campaigns), and yet I carry their label on my keister. But that's neither here nor there. I'm getting off-topic again.

7) I eat ice cream on an almost daily basis. And I'm addicted to sugar. So I may LOOK like a healthy eater, but I'm really not that good. And green people are typically healthy people.

Despite these non-green attributes, I admit that:

1) I was incredibly hippie-ish in high school.

2) I used to be vegetarian and still don't like to eat meat very often. To wear animal is one thing. Imbibing it is another.

3) I love the outdoors and believe nature is just gorgeous and fabulous for adventuring and I even like camping sometimes.

4) one of my favorite perks about our suburb is the recycling bins that are so close by.

5) I turn off lights that aren't being used (my parents probably won't believe that one, but it's true).

6) I try to find ways to use the plastic grocery bags I DO collect.

7) I use ziploc bags more than once.

8) I use soymilk

All in all, I really don't mind being perceived as a "green" sort of person. I kind of support green (in practical, efficient and that-actually-makes-sense kinds of ways. I don't believe every green idea out there meets this criteria). Green is also perceived as being liberal. And I seem kind of liberal sometimes too. So, all that's fine with me. Really. I don't know if I deserve it, but I'm good with that label of green.

Here's the rub for me: I don't understand how I appear to be green to other people. I don't think I just talk green. I think I LOOK green! I have friends who have voted me most likely to buy recycled toilet paper. And I get it when it's friends because they have gotten to know me over the course of our relationship. But now I find people think that about me even if they don't know me! It's true! And it has just been validated again this morning. The moment I said I am often perceived as being green to my new coworker, she piped up and admitted that she was on the list of people who thought I seemed "green" to her. And I've only spoken to her, like, twice. And here I thought my wardrobe and hair were much improved since high school. I totally don't wear tie dye. I don't even think I know how to spell it.

So, enlighten me. Exactly what is it that makes one's greenness so visible to the stranger's eye? And by "one" I mean me. :) Because I'm more likely to be caught in Prada than Patagonia and I really didn't think I looked like this:

I changed it

Is this color better? :)

Weekly Word: Imprimatur

BTW, I was watching an episode of Urban Myths last night, and they were trying to "bifurcate" a car by sending it, at 55mph, into a head-on collision with a stationary, incredibly massive snow plow. And if you're wondering, no, you cannot bifurcate a car using this method. You can, however, harm the passengers inside the car (the blow up dummies did not fair well.)

I just so happened to discover a new word this week, and so I will share it with all of you.

Imprimatur
function: noun

Definitions:

1. a)a license to print or publish, especially by Roman Catholic episcopal authority, b) approval of a publication under circumstances of official censorship

2. a) sanction, approval, b)imprint, c)a mark of approval or distinction

I read it in an article, or maybe I heard it on the news... probably read it. Anyway, it was being used with the 2nd and more applicable of the two definitions. What a fun synonym for approval! Use it. I dare you.

The Cleanse Debate

Recently, I saw a news piece about "cleanses" of all kinds and whether or not they are necessary. Cleanses seem like they are everywhere lately. When I was working up in Park City, LOTS of people were doing cleanses. I even know someone who claimed that whatever was causing him to crave alcohol (thus making him an alcoholic) was actually expunged from his colon during a cleanse and he hadn't craved a drop since. This makes me wonder if the insatiable craving I have for sugar and ice cream lives in my colon too and if I should do a cleanse.

But then I read the articles and listen to the news. Over and over, I hear, "YOU DO NOT NEED TO CLEANSE." Apparently science stands by whatever evidence and studies they've got that say our bodies have built in mechanisms for cleansing the body, the blood, the digestive tract and all that. You get cleansed on an ongoing basis without even trying, so you don't need to DO a cleanse. Your body has an auto-cleanse feature built in.

Ain't that handy. Phew.. That saves me from having to contemplate the torture of a cleanse because I just don't need one. Right?

I still meet perfectly, sane, healthy, happy people... cleansing. Still. I wonder if they know. My head says to them (not out loud), "Don't YOU know that cleanses aren't necessary? I swear. They did studies. Not necessary."

And then I think again. Maybe I should do a cleanse... Why? Well, maybe it's not just the direct physical affects of cleansing that are the attraction. Why do people crave cleansing? Well, here's why I am still attracted to the idea:

1) Big factor -- it's an exercise in self-discipline and provides a sense of accomplishment. I really don't know if I could survive without sugar for longer than a week (ok, 48 hours is even a stretch of my imagination). But I don't like that I doubt if I could do it. It's for the same reason I wish I could raise my hand every time I'm in a classroom where the teacher asks, "Who here has run a marathon?" It doesn't matter if I've run several 1/2 marathons or that I strongly believe my body is just really not designed to run that far and hurts in ways that are not good when I try to and it's not necessary for me to do to be a person of value. No matter the reasons for why NOT to do it, it remains something that is hard and you feel accomplished after you've finished it. If you finish it, of course. And you get to master that hard thing you thought you couldn't do. That is cool. And then you get to be one of those cool people who raises their hand (not that showing off your raised hand to others is at ALL a draw. None whatsoever. Really.;))

2) It impresses me when people do these kinds of things. And, likewise, I like to be impressive too. I want to dazzle and amaze.

3) I am intrigued by the idea that, while a cleanse may not have any long-term effects of ultra-cleanliness, it may cause one's sense of being to feel cleaner and, subsequently, brighter and shinier and all that good stuff. Even if it wears off.

4) While one cleanse may not make a person cleaner than another person who relies on the auto-cleanse feature, repeated cleansing may have similar benefits that the mormon fast has. Over a long period of time, repeated, seasonal cleansing may improve health by causing mastery of one's diet and helping to strengthen a commitment to healthful living (not that those are the only documented medical benefits to fasting once a month. There are more.) Anybody know about a study done on that?

5) Maybe deep down I'm just a follower who wants to be trendy and do a cleanse. It's possible that I am that shallow and impressionable.

Regardless, for now science has provided me with an easy way to say no to the cleanse. It's not just hard, it's unnecessary. And I will stick to that argument for as long as it takes me to actually get up the commitment and nerve to actually try one. And, well, that may never happen.

It was so fun to see you guys!

Ben and I are now recovering from our all-too-brief visit to Utah where we didn't get to see 1/2 as many people as we wanted to, but relished the family and friends we WERE able to visit. What can I say? Five days is just not enough. I spent my first day there hanging out with my sister, which was fabulous, while Ben pruned his parents' yard. And that night we went out to dinner with our fabulous friends, Derrick & Brian. We wish Derrick all the best on his mission to Toulouse, France (I am so jealous), and promise to try our hardest to accidentally run into him while he's there.

The next day (Friday) Ben and I woke up and went to one of my favorite places in Salt Lake -- Nordstrom Rack. Yeah for shopping! Then I whisked my dearest friend Adrian away and dragged her along with me to visit Park City. Amongst our ventures there, we saw Jane from the Peace House. Jane is one of my all-time favorites. She's savvy, sassy and smart. What's not to like about that? But alas, I have neglected to take pictures up to this point, so all this itinerary is very uninteresting, to be sure. To make up for it, I am including a couple of short videos of animals that Ben and I took with our camera while visiting the Cincinnati Zoo in March, in hopes you may find that equally amusing:






At last, I got around to using my camera Friday night. We went to Mikol & Gerrit's wedding reception. She was gorgeous! It was lovely. And we loved seeing everybody there.



On Saturday morning, it was time for the EASTER EGG HUNT!!!














(a couple of shots of the avid hunters)
















The hunters were quite pleased with their findings. And who wouldn't be. With only 5 kids and over 180 eggs to find, everyone is bound to get a lot of booty!














So many eggs so little time. Don't worry. Not all the eggs had candy in them. Some had nickels and some had, well, nothing actually.



And here is my ever-growing nephew, Chris. So tall. When did that happen!?!?! He was in diapers, crawling around with a goofy grin yesterday, I swear.



After the hunt, it was off to Ben's brother Jeremy's and his wife Larene's, in Ogden. Here are his gorgeous twin sisters, Charity & Jessica, with two adorable little nieces, Emma and Breanna. Cute!



Karla had the delightful experience of being mistaken for a human jungle gym by her nephews.



And here are a few of the Young boys relishing in one of their favorite pastimes.... video games. Daniel is sporting his new do. I must say, he looks very distinguished as a baldy.



This picture i absolutely LOVE. Ben rarely lets me take pictures of him. And when he does, he has to review them and insists I delete them because he doesn't like them. So I just started flashing pictures at him without really aiming, to be sly and stealth-like. And wadda ya know? Doesn't he look cute?



Here's Mom Young with a sleeping Kayla in her arms. You would never guess by her angelic, restful face that she will be a teenage girl with all the craziness that comes with it in just a few short years. I'm sure you're really excited about that, Larene. :)





And here are a couple of shots of one of the cutest little girls ever, Emma, being held by her mother Gretchen who is responsible for her daughter's good looks. Look at those dimples! To die for.










These are just a couple of my favorite shots of the day. May have something to do with them being a couple of my favorite people. But they just look... good.








Are you still here? Wow, you're dedicated. Last but not least, a cute shot of Dad Young playing games on Sunday with his grandsons, Carter and Henry, at Aunt Kathy's house.

We really loved seeing everybody! We miss you!

Weekly Word: Exegesis

This is one of my favorite ones. I learned this word back in undergrad, and for some reason it has stuck with me. Who would have known that I would still remember it to this day.

So what does it mean?

Exegesis (from the Greek ἐξηγεῖσθαι 'to lead out') is a critical explanation or interpretation of a text.

Now the fun part is how you use it. Most commonly the word is used in an academic setting...like in a summary of a text, an analysis of some written document or something similar. Clearly, it has several uses in law, but lawyers like to ask for a case summary rather than the exegesis of the case, because they don't want analysis or critical explanation...they just want recitation.......BORING!

Challenge of the week....use the word exegesis...even if it is just putting the word in a sentence in the comments on this blog!

Weekly Word: Bifurcate

This weeks word is one that I have come across a lot in the legal context, and I think it is just the funniest word in the world for a few reasons. 1. Because it sounds so weird when you use it...definitely a $0.50 word. 2. Because I don't think that many people know that it has uses outside of the legal world. and 3. Because if you rip out the word bifurcate in a sentence, let me tell you, a lot of people will be impressed with the language. It makes the word Pedantic look like an obnoxious attempt to sound smart without any knowledge of the english language.

According to Webster, it means the following:

transitive verb : to cause to divide into two branches or parts.

In more contextual settings, such as the law:
Bifurcation (law), the division of issues in a trial for example the division of a page into two parts.

And in the world of clothing:
Bifurcation in context of clothing: clothing which separately covers each leg (such as trousers) is called bifurcated clothing, while clothing which covers them jointly (such as skirt) is called unbifurcated clothing.

Things or areas that you may want to or are interested in using Bifurcate:
A road that is under construction and being split, you could use the word bifurcate.
"They are going to bifurcate the highway."

You could use it in the world of work, when a discussion is getting too complex.
"Let's bifurcate this discussion"

That is the end of the the weekly word!