I had an interesting conversation the other day that I thought I would relate. I was over at a friend's house, discussing the idiosyncrasies we see in every day life and commenting on a few of them that are perhaps a little dearer to our hearts more than anothers.
The topic of spoken language came up and how often people choose, perhaps the wrong word in some of perhaps the most important if not also the most personal of situations. Now, I being a lawyer tend to find language and the selection of words in speech and writing to be of fairly high importance. Yet, I am sure that there are phrases and expressions that I use, purely out of habit, that entail at best a misplaced word which conveys a similar meaning as that intended, and at worst is simply a complete and utter abomination of the human language.
And so the question begs to be asked, how important is the choice of words? Are the words more that we choose more important than what we are attempting to express? Are our relationships limited and plagued by our knowledge and command of our given language?
The conversation wandered through a variety of topics in which language and the selection of words are perhaps more important than others. In a legal context, obviously the command of the English language and its proper usage is extremely important, with potentially severe and detrimental monetary consequences. In a relationship context, how many statements are followed by the phrase "That isn't what I meant." In a religious context (for those of you that are religious), how often do we hear a common phrase, or not so common phrase, in a prayer, in a talk, in conversation, that, based on our understanding, and although "we know what they mean," was the presumably wrong choice of words.
I think it is truly amazing the impact that words can have. The wrong word in a particular situation can be absolutely devastating to a relationship or an individual's self-esteem, yet we often assume that really, words don't matter as long as they understood what we meant, or we think they understood.
With this thought, I hope to resume my "weekly word" posts...but we all know that I am horrible at doing anything regularly, forget about blog posting!
2 comments:
Dude, I know what you mean, I hate that:) Seriously, this was an insightful post, and I myself am guilty as charged. However, my worst gripe is when somebody starts off the conversation, "no offense...". That comment deserves a frying pan to the back of the head.
I think our command of the English language, or lack thereof, truly does set perameters of our ability to communicate and express ourselves properly.
I had a male friend a few years ago who grew up in somewhat rough circumstances and hadn't learned a great deal of vocabulary. And when he would try to talk about "matters of the heart", he would start to explain and get stuck and end up with saying something like, "and I just felt, like... you know?" I would nod at the time, but the truth is.. I didn't! I had no idea. And I felt so terrible for him because his gross lack of vernacular skills led me to conclude that few people probably ever did understand him because he could never find the right words to express anything! How frustrating!
I do think our lack of words is somewhat mitigated if a person truly does know you well enough to see past your words and beyond to the intentions and the heart behind them. But truly, having the words, and the right words, is optimal.
Which reminds me, I think I need to look more stuff up. I recall using words earlier this week that I thought might be the right word, but in truth I had no certain idea of their meaning at all. I take liberties like that sometimes. I shouldn't be so risky in grabbing words I've heard out of thin air and hope they mean what I think they do. :)
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