Thursday, July 26, 2007

Weekly Word: Judgmental

I claim to be an incredibly judgmental person. Really. I am. You do or say something -- ANYTHING -- and I am likely to start thinking about what I think of it in .000002 seconds.

We had a speaker in church on Sunday who was referencing an article written about Harry Potter. I love Harry Potter. However, even if I didn't love the books, I would not have been very impressed with the article. It talked about how there was no "God" that Harry prayed to and how the whole series was based on the Love in that world as a source for good and nothing else and therefore the book was promoting a movement away from God and religion.

My judgment? It's a frickin' kids book created from a brilliant imagination. The author felt no inspiration for infusing religion or doctrinal matters into her work. I don't think that means you then infuse the idea that she is promoting a god-less world. C.S. Lewis wrote books that retold stories from Greek mythology and nobody has ever accused him of promoting the free world to start worshiping Zeus. I also read a children's book to my niece a few weeks ago about a magician turning somebody's mom into a pirate. They didn't talk about God in there either. Perhaps I should warn my sister about the anti-religious paraphenalia she has lying around her house and encourage her to burn it.

Here's another one -- I don't see why we all get so uppity all the time. I even started to get uppity towards somebody because so far, every time I've spoken to this person (which has been a total of three times, and those interactions and conversations were moderately brief), she's mentioned that she has her Juris Doctorate. This is a great accomplishment and I think it's very impressive. I do. And I'm sure she is very smart. I only wish she would stop announcing it to me. I could probably deduce that she is smart even if she DIDN'T have a Juris Doctorate.Why does she keep telling me? Or maybe I'm just jealous. And while we're on the subject of pomp and medals, here's another story it reminds me of, though this scenario is slightly different: one of the board members at work wanted to make sure I put his name on our organization's website correctly and decided to properly spell and punctuate "Ph.D." for me, to make sure I got it right. I wanted to yell at the man and tell him we covered those grammatical issues in, oh, probably my 8th grade year! But I held my tongue.

I do not mind that people are good and seek after good things. I only dislike when they read into things and assume that other things, if not like their things, are not good. And I don't mind that people are smart and that they get degrees. I only mind that they feel the need to wear their laurels for the free world to admire or that they assume others have yet to get done with finishing school and learn their abc's.

I used to really have a hard time with "Utah Mormons"(I can just feel every friend of mine who was born in Utah and is a Mormon wince as they read those words). It's true. I thought they had a weird sense of humor, were stuck in the 5th grade, were way to perky for not ever having had coffee and were way to casual and assuming when talking about church-related things with any and everybody they ran across.

In all this, we find, quite simply, that I am as I said I was: judgmental. There is a beautiful thing in this, however. I have come to love and adore a few people that are indeed, Utah Mormons. I have grown to be slightly endeared to the oddball board member who drives everybody on the planet nuts and is still unawares I have some edgycaishun. And I will endeavor to learn a thing or two about Mizz Juris Doctorate because, if she has enough brains to get that far in school, I'm thinking she might have something worthwhile hidden in her head. These people are all humans. And they have redeeming qualities as well as qualities that can drive other people batty.

I spoke with a woman the other day who is dating a guy who used to be Mormon and is now very angry with the LDS church (which I find to be very common among people who "used to" be Mormon). I had another conversation recently with a friend who is gay who also used to be Mormon before he came out. Both conversations started to lead to this labeling and frustration with this big heap full of Mormons.

My observation is that we all seem to lump things and group people in a generic pile with too much ease. All those Mormons. Having hung around with them for a while, I have found Mormons are human and are pretty accurate reflection of the population at large. In my mind, if you don't like Mormons, I wonder if you like anyone at all.

I think people group things and judge people because it is easy. Maybe. I don't know. But you really can't group things accurately. You can't group an individual either. They may be very pompous. But perhaps they are incredibly smart and good at what they do and can give you some great advice or guidance. Unfortunately, we often think it better to notice their fault and then toss them in a pile of human refuse we wish not be bothered with. And for what?

Admittedly, I don't think I'm going to stop being judgmental any time soon. I don't even know that I should stop. But I like that I am acquiring the ability to appreciate the good in a world full of imperfect people. I like to go back over my pile of refuse and create another "salvage" pile.

2 comments:

dolly d. said...

Wow, all very good, and interesting points. I'm certainly prone to bouts of indignance when people seem to assume I know much less than I actually do. (The latest favorite was when I mentioned to a co-worker that it was feeling like kind of a pain to get some biology lessons together--I usually teach math--and they volunteered someone who was so good at biology who maybe I should talk to. I promptly informed him I had a degree in biology, thank you very much...and then felt like a brat for having to indicate my ample education. Dang pride) However, when people correct my spelling they usually have a very good reason, so I don't mind it quite as much. ;) But anyway.

I quite agree with the mis-lumping issue. It is basically impossible to lump anyone in any one group, because really, most people belong in several groups...and usually those groups are all neither good nor bad. So I've tried to watch myself and how I react when people mention “young people” or "politicians" or "Muslims" or "non-members" or even "guys." I think I'm gradually getting more merciful, or at least impartial, but it is definitely a work in progress.

Anonymous said...

Ummmmm. Did you know that I almost have my masters degree (yeah, that's lowercase, without an apostrophe)? Yeah, well I go to BYU. And the other day, my Bishop and I were having this conversation about Kolob ... and--hey, do YOU know where Kolob is? Because I was having this discussion with everyone at work this morning about where it's located, and if a 1000 years of our time is really the same as one hour in God's time. And then Dave suggested that the whole is a like a wormhole, and that's how Harry and Hermoine went back in time in book #3 to save Buckbeak and Sirius. Anyway, I just wanted to comment and let you know that I am nearly done with my masters degree, and once I have it, I'd prefer that you call me Mistress Cox. Ok?

Sorry, luv. Just couldn't resist. If this is what makes you judgemental, then you're in excellent company because the rest of the human race is just like you. Well, that is, the ones who can think for themselves ...