Do you choose your life or.....??

So today I about lost it. Ok, I really lost it. Why you ask? Well, completely selfish, impatient, and spoiled reasons, but nonetheless, oh so valid to me.

I have been at a large branch of life, only to find myself a bit lost and bewildered as to what opportunities and avenues to pursue. The other day, it led me to utter frustration, anger, and disappointment. Ever since I was a "little kid," I have had stuck in my head, and sincerely believed that I was here to accomplish something. What that something is, I don't know, but as most individuals, I feel compelled to try.

The reason is, and it relates to a discussion I had with my sister recently, is I have sort of led life in doing what I thought I was supposed to do, gone where I was supposed to go. And it seems that regardless of what I have wanted, there was one door, and that door was where I was going, not because it was my first choice, but because it was the option left for me. Looking back, most of those options really have been beneficial, but nonetheless, doesn't change the major question. Do we choose the life we lead, or just bring it in to line with what we are "supposed" to do?

Naturally , a statement like that brings in assumptions that I have, in that I believe that there is a divine nature, which is overseen by a supreme being, who I, in common vernacular, refer to as "God". Obviously, there is an inherent discussion in the existence of God, and God's attributes, but that is not the essence or intent of this post. Perhaps, at another time, I will pose the discussion of "is there a God, and what are God's attributes", but this post assumes those things.

I think of my life, and I will admit, have really had amazing experiences, but to get to those experiences, have often felt like I am walking in the dark. In other words, that although I pursue various avenues or opportunities, I have rarely had an opportunity in front of me that I didn't feel I should take, i.e. the opportunity presented was the opportunity I should choose. That begs the question then, is life an open breadth full of choices, or a narrow hallway with nothing but "Exit" signs on the sides.

Yes, I fully understand that I could choose to completley alter my life and make drastically different personal decisions. And perhaps that is my problem, I have tunnel vision. I think sometimes those of us who feel very driven, are so because we become extremely fixated on whatever, and that may be one of my flaws. I don't know. But nonetheless, I often feel that the idea behind life is not to choose life, but to bring your life in alignment with what God wants you to do. And that isn't saying that you wouldn't be happy with those decisions, just a motiviation side of things.

Thoughts?