Did You Really Just Do That??

Ok, so I am a bit of a feminist. And this word has never made me uncomfortable -- mostly because I'm oblivious to a lot of negative connotations and caricatures people associate with it. At the same time, it's not among the top 10 adjectives I use to describe me. But I may gain a reputation as such shortly, because I have taken issue with something. And I feel compelled to speak up.

So, a member of the bishopric in our new ward called Ben and I out of class on Sunday.  He asked Ben to come in the office and requested I wait outside for a few minutes.All is fine so far.

When he called me in to join them, I was informed that I was waiting outside so he could talk to my husband about whether it was ok to extend a calling to me. And, mind you, not a very extensive calling. And suddenly ...

Wha???? Just a moment. What's that sound I hear? Ah, yes. It's the sixties. They'd like their policy back.

I've been going over it in my head since the meeting (during which I said nothing about it). But I just can't comprehend. I had no idea that when I became a married woman that I lost my ability to make adult decisions. And did they tell my husband before he signed the marriage certificate that he would have to bear the responsibility of both spouse and parental consent-giver?

Consult with him about a calling? Yes. Ask for his support? Yes. Involve him in the discussion? Yes. Even want his approval? I do. But ask for his permission? BEFORE asking me? You betta check yo'self.

Am I the only one who thinks this protocol is totally absurd? When I later mentioned to Ben that I was taken aback by it, he had a bit of a laugh and said, "I thought that would bother you." And then he kind of brushed it aside with a, "Well, maybe it's just part of the culture up here." Culture. Is that what they're calling it? No. I like these people enough to presume that "sexism" is not their "culture."

It's not something that was done in my last ward. Thank GOODNESS. And I don't hold it against any of the bishopric members personally for following protocol (I'm assuming that's what it was), But rather than just let it slide, I feel like I need to tell them all the many reasons I don't believe it's appropriate and make them aware that it's backwards. Brand me a feminist as you must. But I'm thinking I prefer saying something and wearing that label than the alternative -- not saying something and periodically being mistaken for Ben's property or his dependent child.