I grew up in Red Bank, NJ, I'm the youngest (& shortest) of 7 children, and I currently live in Utah. I'm a pretty grounded person. I have worked full-time since I graduated from college with my undergraduate degree (I DID study Recreation Management, so I have a strong playing streak in me. I'm not all work) Since high school, if someone were to ask me what I've been up to I would say: I've earned 2 degrees (I finished my MPA last year), traveled a lot, played guitar, run, worked my little arse off and had some great relationships.
Throughout my life, I find myself always evaluating. I evaluate what I do with my time, how I manage my relationships, where my priorities are, what I want, what people tell me I should want, and how the things I'm doing reflect what I want to say and what I think is important. It's a lot to manage on a day-to-day basis! Especially when I try to have a life at the same time. I compare where I am and what I do versus where you are and what you do. Do I like that? Do I want that? Do I not like it? Is it good? Worthwhile? Overall, I think my evaluations center on trying to achieve the greatest happiness and satisfaction and good out of my life.
Right now, I work a full-time job at a nonprofit that helps low-income families, and work part-time at a high-end fashion clothing store (it helps me save up for renovations for my studio and strokes/feeds my inner fashion diva cravings). I run. I go shopping. I used to play guitar and draw and write as well, but I find I have a hard time fitting everything in these days.
I don't travel as much as I used to or as much as I like. I blame that on work. But I'm not so sad about that, because I think I can contribute more when I am around to contribute. There is value in sticking around and being part of a community.
I've applied to the Peace Corps twice, and dropped off from the application process both times. Most people tell me that it just may not be the right time for me. I think that might be true. I also think I might be chicken. And I think I want to be a little more settled in my own situation before I go over and help the less fortunate. Otherwise, I fear I WILL be the less fortunate upon my return, because as of yet there's not that much to me.
And so, life continues. With working and running and friends and all, I see my family very little, which is pathetic since I live with them. They give me free rent and feed me because I don't make time to cook.
For the most part I am happy, and happy with my decisions. My inner conflicts rest mostly around religion and work. Do I work too much? Probably. But I can't seem to help it. I've been doing it for years. Maybe I'm just ADD. And I like money. But there is more to life than work, yes? Perhaps I do that wrong. As for religion... we can leave that for another blog day. This a sufficient introduction for now.
