To Pepsi or Not to Pepsi

Me: I think I need to give up soda. The government is trying to put a tax on it because its so bad for our health. And it has all those preservatives. And football players and athletes don't really drink it because it messes with their performance.
Ben: Why are you always saying you have to give things up completely?
Me: I don't "always" do anything. I said that this time, though. So maybe I just need to drink it less. I drink it like 2-3 times a week right now. So less. I think I should drink it a lot less.

I have never had any inclination in my life to give up things that contain sugar. I love sugar. And I maintain that sugar loves me too. But the questions roll inside my head: "Could I live without soda if it really were that bad?" "Is soda my cigarette?" And then the ultimate question: "Do I really lack that much self control?".The answer to that question in my head is always a resounding, "Yes. I really do lack that much self control." But that's mostly in regards to the idea of sticking to any food restriction or diet. Despite the fact people think I am a healthy eater, I usually eat.. pretty much whatever I want. And the minute I say I can't have something, it kinda makes me want it more.

But soda -- it's only one thing. What about that? Couldn't I deny myself the Pepsi I usually reward myself with after I go to the gym? It's kind of an odd, unhealthy reward for such a good, healthy behavior anyway. Shouldn't I be able to take it or leave it? I wouldn't have to NEVER drink soda... just not on any kind of regular basis. I could do that, right?

Well, I don't know. It's been a week. Though I might not have had any last week either. But it's been deliberate for only 1 week. Last week may have been accidentally soda-free. Today, on my way back from the gym, I had sushi instead of Pepsi. Go figure.

The one thing I don't think I'll get away from -- I really like Pepsi. But maybe I can do without it as a part of my regular drinking regimen. Maybe. Judging by my own confidence in my ability to control my food cravings, if I were a betting woman, I'd give myself another week to go. I'll have accomplished something real if I can actually make it through 4 weeks.

Pepsi, oh Pepsi. Breaking up is so hard to do. I miss you. Boo hoo. Too da loo.

Quirky

Step 1: First, separate fruit snacks out by colors.
Step 2: Take away fruit snacks from each color group so there are the same number of fruit snacks in each group.
Step 3: Eat the "extra" fruit snacks.
Step 4: Eat the remaining fruit snacks, 1 from each group at a time, so as to keep the number of fruit snacks in each color group equal for as long as possible.
Step 5: Eat the last remaining fruit snack from each color group in the order in which I wish to experience them.

As I was going through this almost daily ritual today, I realized that this might makes me kinda weird. How did I come up with this process? And, better yet, why? Sometimes, I wonder about myself a little bit.

Coincidentally, this picture is exactly what the fruit snacks I eat look like -- at least the fruit snacks I have right now. I had no idea I'd be able to find such an accurate visual aid. Go Google.

Perks

This past monday, Ben went grocery shopping. All by himself. You may think this is minor, but it's really not. We've been married for over 1 1/2 years. Ben's insatiable desire to help me out has overcome his better judgment and brought him where he dared not go before -- the grocery store. Did I mention this is the 2nd time? And the first time was about a month ago.

Some things about me going back to school I really, really love.

Interesting Read, Less Interesting Thoughts, update on the unidentified "G"

So, I have a little more free time this week. The big projects for the most part are done for right now, and I have a few breathers of a day or two. In my "free time" I was educating myself, and decided to watch a TED video (everyone should know about TED). The video is here. It is an interesting video about how businesses/people develop followings and becoming leaders rather than participants essentially. What makes someone inspire other people to jump on their bandwagon.

Anyways, I really enjoyed the video, hence I am posting it in hopes that someone else may be provoked by the thought process.

After watching the talk, I decided to check the author out a little bit more, and I came across this post here, entitled "Why You Need A Partner" and really should be labeled "Why MEN Need A Partner", but that is besides the point. It was a relatively interesting read, although not nearly as interesting as the first. I don't know if I buy in to his point, particularly because I am, for the most part, a very independent, self-serving, and some might argue, self-made individual. I've done most things on my own, accomplished most things without a partner, etc. But the notion and ideas presented at a minimum gave me something to think about.

Lastly, the unidentified girl is still in the picture, although crazily calling me out for leaving her unidentified (no, she doesn't read this blog...at least I don't think she does, I'm assuming Kim hasn't told her about it! ;). ) Recently, I my ears piqued at an off-handed comment of her being my "closet girlfriend". Now, granted, I tend to keep things a bit closer to the chest than the average individual, but really, how close to the chest can they be....after all, I am blogging about it.

Regardless, dates 4, 5, 6, 7, and a few others have gone along swimmingly......and in light of the closet girlfriend comment, she came with me to church on Sunday. The question is, when is integration too fast? As a person that likes to take things a bit slower, I tend to be apprehensive to the whole introduction to friends, family, etc., even if the unidentified G is a girlfriend. Mostly out of fear of disruption of life, severing of relationships if it goes sour, joint experiences that you may soon want to forget, yada yada yada. See, I like my life (shocker I know), and it affords me with some lovely luxuries, but I may also like life with the inclusion of a certain unidentified G. Do past relationships set the stage for failure in the future? Are our past experiences the largest hurdle to our potential future successes (wow, doesn't that look like it is spelled funny)? When is integration too soon? Or better yet, when is integration too late?

Pontificate away as I'm sure you will.

The Staging Area

Ben and I have had some interesting discussions over the last few weeks about what we're doing in Ohio. To buy a house? Not to buy a house? Exactly how deep are our roots here?

I'll spare you the suspense. We've decided we're in no rush to buy a house, so no deep root-growing happening here. We haven't even signed a 6 month lease on the apartment we've been living in for the last year and a half(though I think we might; you know, since we're not buying a house). We miss EVERYBODY and, while Cincy isn't so bad, we are thinking that our future lies elsewhere.

So this begs the question -- how temporary are we? What are we doing while we're here?

As some of you may have been able to decipher from my previous post, I have started an MBA Program. I have faint hopes of being able to finish this endeavor early, but it's supposed to take about two years.

I have very mixed emotions about this whole going back to school thing. Mostly one emotion pervades: I hate going to school. Clearly I'm a masochist. I not only work at a school, but I keep going BACK to school for my own education, OVER and OVER again.

But I have this insatiable need to be productive with my time. No, not THAT KIND of productive. Stick with me people! Why am I going back this time? An MBA is a great asset for future career opportunities, so if I can get one, and I can get it free with a little sweat and tears from yours truly, well --- it only seems logical.

NOT TO MENTION, what else is there for me to do in Ohio? No really. I'm not kidding. Well, I'm sure some of you could figure out how to spend your time productively in ways that don't involve school. But, for starters, I'm really not quite ready for kids(I'm selective about the kinds of productivity I'm into, apparently). I can't update a house because I don't have one. I can't hang out with all of you. And it seems like this MBA thing may be a "for a limited time only" kind of offer, considering my rootless presence here and it's only free while I work at my current job. And that it's easier to go to school BEFORE you have children as opposed to after. See what I'm sayin'?

Summarily, I know it's good for me, my career and our family's financial future and it appears time is of the essence if I want to do it. Do I relish it? In fleeting moments, sure. I do like learning things. But the rest of the time I roll my eyes and say, "School again. Ugh." I do that a lot, actually. (Sigh)

We could just pick up and go; leave the Cincinnati life behind us. But all things considered, we think it's best for us to sit tight for a bit. We want to make a smart jump, not just any jump.

So if not now, then when? We're not sure exactly when. 2 years. 3 years. Maybe more. Maybe less. But said jumping will likely happen as soon as possible, taking all things prudent into consideration.

And to where? We don't know that either. It's years away people!! The good news about the wait? I have time to persuade Ben that London is a great place to raise a family. :)

There's a negative to coming to this conclusion so early in our Cincinnati existence. It makes the next leg of living here seem long. Really long. We are talking about undetermined years and months of just waiting to move on. Harsh.

You can feel my yearning. I know you can. And you recognize it. That's because it is the yearning of students everywhere. :) I'll try my best to live and love my Cincinnati present. Living it up while working full-time and going to school is definitely going to be a challenge, but somebody has to do it and apparently that somebody is me.

It feels a bit like we're in a staging area; like we're building a set for a play that is to come -- the play that is my future happiness -- without school and after Cincinnati. The play's really the main event, isn't it? That's what everybody's waiting for. The staging is necessary, but incredibly less fun, and the costumes are nowhere near as glamorous.

All of this being said, I have a request. Should I find it wise, after having finished the MBA here, to go back to school once more, would you PLEASE commit me. I can officially be considered mentally unsound at that point and not capable of looking out for my own best interests. That is all I ask. Thank you.

Many thoughts....only 1 blog post

So, since most of the people that read this blog of female (I think that is true, but I could be wrong), i would love to hear a female's perspective (and if male's want to chime in, by all means do so....oh, and Kim...I'm calling you out!.....still can't believe you read this thing) on the following:

I have always been a 50/50 dater in my mind.....if I ask someone out it is there job to ask out for date 2 etc. (Ok, no pot shots here about me being more like a 70/30 (or 90/10) dater aka she asks me out like 5 times and I invite her over for a rented DVD!) I have abandoned that for the time being with a certain bit of trepidation.

My reasoning on the 50/50 is not so much that the girl pay or whatever, I could care less about that. It has more to do with the fact that I want to see some demonstrated initiative and interest. I think it is easy/easier to simply say yes to going to dinner with someone and be ready by 5 or 6pm on a given night, than to take the steps and say, "I would like to see you again and when."

But I would also say that it is important I think to show that interest. A boy like me has concerns of people taking him for a nice ride because he is a nice guy and is willing to pay for/prepare/organize a nice dinner/activity/clown makeup (don't ask), but not have any real interest in say......me. (Honestly, I haven't run in to this situation, but I hear its possible.....isn't it?)

So, that being said, and abandoning all previous notes.....I asked out lil' miss sunshine on date 3 (granted I did so well prior to her having a chance to being able to ask me out on date 3.) and it was really a good time, and I don't have any reservations or ill will about asking her.

However, I have had some conversation as of late about date 4 (Eclaires...I'm talking to you now!) and how it should proceed. I am of the opinion that she should take the initiative for date 4. Thoughts? Am I barking up a silly tree? Does it not really matter? Several individuals have indicated that the whole asking out thing is all about games and rules (which apparently I have a lot of...go figure, I'm a lawyer), and that if I want to go out with someone I should just ask them, but I think it is a much more delicate balance than that.

For starters, I tend to be attracted to intelligent women with quite a bit of backbone and that have some initiative. I like to see those qualities, and see a girl sort of take the proverbial bull by its horns and in my mind, putting the onus on the other to do the asking may tend to demonstrate some of those qualities.

2. Dating isn't all about what I want either. It is nice to see someone express more than in a passive sense, what they would like.

3. I'm sure there are lots of other reasons that I could make up for defending my position, but I really want to know if I'm being an idiot, and somehow in my deluded sense, asking a bunch of my sister's friends (and a few of mine) their opinion seems like I might get a little clarity.

Thoughts from the peanut gallery?

(P.S. the other thought I had, I have been thinking about for some time....in "what does a name really mean"...and to quote a timely New York Time article “What’s in a name?” Shakespeare asked. “That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”)

Lameness apparently not so lame

So, said "lame" date happened, and I would like to report that it went well (at least from my opinion....I won't comment as to hers, but I like to tell myself that she had a good time). In the course of the date, I apologized for my lameness.....to which she pointed out that she didn't think it was lame at all. :) As a matter of fact her roommates even commented that it was (I don't remember the exact word), but something to the effect of good.

I believe I am already up above a 4.5 Sharona! And for all you nay sayers, we made a lovely dinner.....which I thoroughly enjoyed, and she pretended to enjoy it as well (she may actually have enjoyed it, but I'm not inside her head, so I don't really know.)

So, despite my agreement that for a date, the idea may have been a bit lame, it ended well, and I believe execution was better than the idea, which has to at least bring me to like a 5.5 on the lame factor, maybe even a 6.5!

On a scale of 1 to 10....how lame am I?

So, those of you that know me, know that I am attempting to enter the dating world again (yes Adrian, I tend to be a ridiculously long serial monogamist....shoot me, I love to really get to know someone!.....and I move at the speed of a tortoise in the middle of the Mojave desert on a mid summer day.) But that being said, I have entered the dating world again at my own pace, which seems to be a bit quicker than normal.

Anyways, so, a week or two ago I went on a date with a really nice girl (at least I thought she was really nice.....I have no idea what you all think....but take my word for it, she is really nice) and it was a nice date. Went to dinner, ice cream, walked around the city, it was good.

So, naturally I was hoping to go on date two, and she was kind enough to give an ol' grump like myself another few hours of her life, which she will most likely in the future wish she had never agreed to spend with me, but that is besides the point.

Needless to say, we agreed that a date 2 would happen. Well, as you also know, my schedule is not the easiest to plan around. It seems there is always something that is demanding my full time and focus and to get away from it is not just difficult, it could lead to a loss of my license to practice law, the failure of my law firm, and the sky falling on my head.

My bright idea was as follows. She is a Mormon (yes I know shocker, I went out with a Mormon and enjoyed it), and I am a Mormon and this weekend is conference (yes it is going where you think it is going.) Seeing as she also has a schedule that doesn't always lead her to having free time all the time, and I don't always have free time, and we were both most likely going to be watching conference this weekend, which meant we both had the same type of free time, and I wanted to see her again sooner rather than later, I invited her to come down to my house and watch conference together. So, technically speaking this would be date 2, and on date 2, we would be watching conference on a Saturday afternoon. How lame am I? Did I just cross the threshold into being the lamest individual ever created? I didn't mean to be lame, and it wasn't a lack of thought, but well, it just seemed to make sense, I'm doing X, you might be doing X (I didn't really know if she was much of a conference type person), why don't we do X together?

Does that logic make sense? Obviously if there is a date 4, I might have to do better (since I asked the first 2, she has to ask for date 3 right?) This isn't a completely male chauvinistic world is it? The line chivalry is dead and women killed it rings through my head, but I'll try not to be stubborn about it.

Tell me I'm an idiot....I'm listening! (I really just want you all to tell me I'm not an idiot, but I know the 2 people that read this blog too well, and they'll think I am an idiot!)