Did You Really Just Do That??

Ok, so I am a bit of a feminist. And this word has never made me uncomfortable -- mostly because I'm oblivious to a lot of negative connotations and caricatures people associate with it. At the same time, it's not among the top 10 adjectives I use to describe me. But I may gain a reputation as such shortly, because I have taken issue with something. And I feel compelled to speak up.

So, a member of the bishopric in our new ward called Ben and I out of class on Sunday.  He asked Ben to come in the office and requested I wait outside for a few minutes.All is fine so far.

When he called me in to join them, I was informed that I was waiting outside so he could talk to my husband about whether it was ok to extend a calling to me. And, mind you, not a very extensive calling. And suddenly ...

Wha???? Just a moment. What's that sound I hear? Ah, yes. It's the sixties. They'd like their policy back.

I've been going over it in my head since the meeting (during which I said nothing about it). But I just can't comprehend. I had no idea that when I became a married woman that I lost my ability to make adult decisions. And did they tell my husband before he signed the marriage certificate that he would have to bear the responsibility of both spouse and parental consent-giver?

Consult with him about a calling? Yes. Ask for his support? Yes. Involve him in the discussion? Yes. Even want his approval? I do. But ask for his permission? BEFORE asking me? You betta check yo'self.

Am I the only one who thinks this protocol is totally absurd? When I later mentioned to Ben that I was taken aback by it, he had a bit of a laugh and said, "I thought that would bother you." And then he kind of brushed it aside with a, "Well, maybe it's just part of the culture up here." Culture. Is that what they're calling it? No. I like these people enough to presume that "sexism" is not their "culture."

It's not something that was done in my last ward. Thank GOODNESS. And I don't hold it against any of the bishopric members personally for following protocol (I'm assuming that's what it was), But rather than just let it slide, I feel like I need to tell them all the many reasons I don't believe it's appropriate and make them aware that it's backwards. Brand me a feminist as you must. But I'm thinking I prefer saying something and wearing that label than the alternative -- not saying something and periodically being mistaken for Ben's property or his dependent child.

Renovation Project Numero Uno: The Bathroom

what my future bathroom will look as cool as

Moving into the house, it has taken a long time to figure out where to start. We're 1.5 months into owning and living in the new place and, I must confess, I haven't done much. Or bought much. The house is still incredibly empty in most rooms. Including our living room!! In my defense, I was only not working for 1 week, so I really just have nights and weekends to make progress (and initially, there was a lot o' shoppin' to do for some basics. Like groceries. And towels.). Nonetheless, I would have thought I'd be farther along than I am right now.

I finally did settle on where to start --- the main floor bathroom. And after much wasted time and mental energy, I think I have finally found my way to the beginning of this renovation (who knew making decisions on finishings and colors was so difficult?).

The turning point was picking something I really wanted in the bathroom. This is the piece that I can then focus everything else around. The piece I have chosen is........ the shower curtain. I knew I wanted a super ruffly curtain. I ended up getting this one:

I already have it hanging in my otherwise very bare and not so great-looking bathroom. Using this color spectrum as my base point, I believe I have found my wall paint color. A light, lime-y spring green that is along the lines of the upper tiers of color on the shower curtain. I'm hoping I have it right this time as I already failed with paint swatch testing twice. You can see my nice art/test marks below.

Do those swatches remind anyone else of basement cinder blocks? I don't know what I was thinking. Of course, even though I think I might have made a better selection this time, I'm not going to do anything rash. I have an appointment with the consultant at the Sherwin Williams paint shop on Thursday, in case he needs to inform me I'm making a tragic mistake.

Here is another shot of the ho-hum bathroom:

And another, just to make sure you get the full picture:

This project is more than about paint, of course. And I'm sure you'll agree from the pictures, the space could do with some major improvements. Technically, I could do virtually ANYTHING in there. But I need to not overwhelm myself, so I've decided to start small, investing in some nice finishings.

For example, along with painting the walls, I plan to have some fun with the light fixtures. There is an ugly bath fan/light that is not necessary since this bathroom has a window (and will be rarely used anyway). I'm totally getting a cool light fixture to welcome people with visual awesomeness right when they walk in. I'm getting cuter lighting for over the mirror as well.  Lighting's important.

And about that mirror. I'm debating on whether to frame the mirror to class it up, or just replace it with a collage of lots of cute little mirrors. The collage could be artsy overkill. But the frame is gonna be a huge craft project, which may or may not look cute, since I'd be doing it. : p

Along with attending to the mirror, the walls and the light fixture, if it doesn't make it look too busy I'm going to buy cute covers for the light switches and electrical outlets. I may also replace the doorknob.

And then after that, it's gravy with the decor, towel rack, etc.

If after those minor redo's, I'm not satisfied, then I start to consider painting the cabinets & giving them hardware, crown molding, painting the base boards white or getting new base boards, adding tile to the wall, wall paper on the ceiling...

You can see how good I am at overwhelming myself. I'll keep you posted as it progresses. Crossing my fingers that it turns out to be fabulous!!!

Shopping. Or Not

So, we bought a house!!! I'm really excited. Since being married, we have been cooped up in small-space apartment living. And now we are going to have TONS of space. I cannot wait to sprawl out and enjoy our roomy digs.

I can hardly wait to move in. I am going to creatively explode all over our home once it's officially ours. Ben may subsequently explode, although in a more literal fashion, as he seems to think all of my creative ideas for interior design are foreign and, subsequently, tragic. It could be one big explosion after the other. Let's hope the house (and the couple) survives the impact.

Oddly enough, Ben and I made a point of getting RID of stuff for our move. This was in an effort to not pay to move crap we don't really need/want, and in an effort to not own stuff like that. :) But the funniness of the concept comes in as the two of us realize we have enough stuff to furnish the basement of our home (maybe) and that's about it.

As we're up-sizing, this new home makes us (and our stuff) seem very downsized by comparison. For some reason I really like that. And it's possible this relishing of downsized-ness and downsizing won't stop at the furniture.

We have had our stuff in storage for the last month and half. Along with our furnishing, kitchen supplies, books, etc, this also means about 1/2 (at least) of our wardrobes are also inaccessible and in storage. And, believe it or not, I kinda like it. This is a very unlikely conclusion for a girl like me to come to. It's dangerous to say it, really. Good thing Ben doesn't read my blog.

To put things in perspective, I'll admit that I have limited needs for a wardrobe since we have moved to the land of Wisconsin. I telecommute to work from my couch, don't have parties to attend, ya know ... it's been kinda low-key. So maybe it's a false indicator. And, as a result, I promise not to do anything rash or prematurely brand this as my life-long mantra for wardrobes. This is more just perusing an observation of the current state of things and hypothesizing about it's implications for the future. And so far, from what I can tell, there have been perks to having less stuff in my closet. While there is the downside of having fewer options, I find that I am more creative in putting those options together and less flustered when I look at my closet. And this seems to outshine the downside. So maybe less is more?

Have I lost my mind in Wisconsin? Well, maybe. But maybe not. I also have fewer shoes right now. In addition to some being in storage, I permanently parted with a third of my shoe collection before we even left Ohio because the shoes weren't worth bringing along (they either injured my feet or were so dinged up and worn out that the needed to be retired). This event may or may not have caused me to be on the brink of hyperventilation. And while I'm really into downsizing a lot of stuff, this leopard has not completely changed her spots. I've noticed even recently that I "need" some new shoes. And come warmer climates  and fancier parties, I will wish for several of my storage-ridden shoes back. So, there is some proof that I still have access to oxygen in Wisconsin and that there is some normal brain function happening here.

But, at least to some extent, I am starting to think I can dig a life, and closet, with less stuff. And I conjecture that when we get our stuff back, we'll get rid of belongings, even as we slowly identify and purchase other belongings that suit our new home. My wardrobe COULD be one of my biggest targets for divestment. Ironic, now that I will have a huge closet. Very ironic.

But don't get the wrong idea. I'm still all about more. At least when it comes to space. And shoes. Yin and yang, right?

Updates From My New Home: Wisconsin

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

You read that right. I now live in Wisconsin. Ben got a job in West Bend, WI and we moved up here on Oct. 15th. I am still telecommuting to my job with the University of Cincinnati while they seek my replacement and I seek to replace them. And that's where we are.

So, how did the move go, you ask? Well, it wasn't so bad. Once we figured out HOW we were going to move, the process was relatively seamless.  We had about a month's worth of warning. So, we did a lot of packing on the weekends and on the Friday of our move, we hired two fabulous, professional movers to load all of our stuff into a storage bin that was dropped off the day before. My suspicion at the time was that we had way more crap than would fit into at 16 foot storage container and that we were kinda screwed since I'd only ordered one. To my amazement, however, the movers were descendants of Houdini (I can only assume) and they magically fit everything we had in the container, with a full 3.5 feet left over for the odds and ends we hadn't packed yet and/or actually might still need. It was awesome-- the best $400 I ever spent. It also made me feel slightly guilty and incredibly aware of the hack job of packing we had attempted to do when having helped other ward members move in the past. Oh well. The bright side -- we did not charge for it.

The news of our fast and expedited packing was not pleasing to all. The ward missionaries came over later that afternoon to help us move and were dismayed to see we had very little for them to do. Fear not! We found a way to make them useful and had them help us vacuum, dust windows & closets, etc. They were awesome. Then we had the mutually beneficial exchange of dumping all of our perishables on them that we would have otherwise had to throw away, and bequeathed them an old, beat-up office chair that we were about to send to DI. Happy scripture studying on that!!! :) And thanks for your help. It was great to see you before we left.

Saturday -- we just had to finish our cleaning, pack up the last few things and then we were out of there! We thought we were going to be out of there early. Boy were we wrong!!! I underestimated the time it takes to deep clean a kitchen. :) We started working on things at around 8am and didn't get out the door until 4pm -- a full day's work. But it got done, and it was just fine since we weren't really on a schedule. We locked up the container, left it there, and then proceeded to caravan up to Wisconsin, with me in the Subaru and Ben driving the Jeep right behind me. We drove up halfway to our final destination and stayed overnight in a hotel off the highway just north of Gary, Indiana after 6 hours of driving. The gym at the hotel was rather pathetic -- a broken treadmill and an elliptical machine in desperate need of some DW40. But it was otherwise delightful.

Sunday -- we finished our drive and arrived safely in Germantown, Wisconsin. Since we were weary travelers in a new place, and incredibly hungry, we broke the Sabbath and ate at a nearby Cracker Barrel (yum!) before we met the landlord of our short-term furnished rental. We were delighted to find that Germantown is a pretty populated place and the condo we would be staying in was surrounded by shops, restaurants and other handy amenities. The landlord met us right on time, gave us keys and we've felt right at home every since.

So, you see, easy peasy. Of course, our stuff is still in storage (at least everything that didn't fit in our cars). And we're in the depths of house hunting, which has been a fair amount of torture over the last few weeks. But it does keep us busy and entertained -- no small feat for being in Wisconsin in the beginning of winter, where we have no friends (yet).

Bright spots--

Chicago is only 2 hours away and I already can't wait for a Saturday trip into town! MK's, I will be making a reservation for truffle fries & cream and your lush desserts post haste! :)

I hear there's a cool little vintage shop area called Brady St. in Milwaukee (20 min's from here). I have some exploring to do.

Found a fun cafe to eat at on my b-day. The restaurant scene is not completely absent

I think we may have found a house. And if we get it, please be aware that my Four Seasons accommodation promise will be more than fulfilled and we will be accepting guest reservations year-round.

Here's to adventures, new friends and a new chapter! We've waited for this for a long time. I'm glad it's finally here.

You Don't Say

Last week Ben asked me to take the Dry Cleaning in and he promised, if I do, he would then go pick the Dry Cleaning back up later. I oblige. Now, I give you this morning's conversation. 7am, in our  warm cozy bed:

Ben: Can I bribe you to go get the dry cleaning?
Long silence
Sharon: If you're going to bribe me, you actually have to offer me a bribe.
Ben: If you get the dry cleaning, when we get a new car, I'll let you  get one with a heated steering wheel.
Sharon: You're the one who gets to drive the new car. Why would I agree to that?
Ben: You can get a new dress coat.
Sharon: But I'm already getting one for my birthday.
Ben: Oh.
Another long silence
Sharon: Ben, you're kind of bad at bribing.

I acknowledge that I will probably have to go get the dry cleaning anyway. But if he's going to start trying to bribe me, I might as well help him along in the process so I can actually get something good out of it. Tragically, it appears I have my work cut out for me. :/

Rantings from My Desk in Pajamas Part 1

Who are they?  They are those who believe that no one has anything to do except worry about them...and they are so incessantly obnoxious about it that it warrants a rant, a rave (but not in the good kind), and perhaps a little public shaming.  I'm a lawyer, I deal with obnoxious people all the time, but somehow this one takes the cake.....I think?

So, I have a client (I know shocking), and they got into a little bit of a scuffle with one of their previous clients.  Fine, no big deal, happens all the time....especially in my world.  So, I find out about this on Tuesday at about 3pm from my client....no big deal.  We talk on the phone, discuss the issue, yada yada yada, we decide I should talk to the other side's lawyer.

I get an e-intro (via email) and am thinking we will talk the next day, as the e-intro takes place at 5pm Tuesday.....nope Ms. I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITH MY LIFE (who at this point by the way I think is very pleasant and just wants to start the conversation...but the title is deserving) decides we should talk that day, and we schedule a call for 6pm....fine....this is where it gets oh so bad.

For those of you non-lawyers, usually you start conversations with a brief overview of the case at hand, where you see things and go forward from there.  This conversation started with a 45 minute lecture on why her client is right and mine is in for a world of hurt.  Happy Tuesday evening.

It then progressed to 3 emails the next day with the last one stating "Since we spoke, I have sent you three e-mails regarding this case and have not received a response or acknowledgement for any of them."  Those three took place in less than 24 hours since our first conversation.  Now, maybe I'm crazy, but I don't watch my email inbox for emails from this lady, and I don't believe I have a requirement of less than 24 hour response times....especially when they don't pay my bills...just make larger ones for my clients.  Some times things take precedence (shocker that I have other things to do), and sometimes, I'm going to delay my response just cause you pissed me off.

So, being the quiet, patient, overly nice person that I am...I responded as follows:

"While your unrelenting dedication to this case is inspiring, I cannot always respond on the same day an email is sent.  I apologize that it has taken me nearly twenty-four hours to respond since your first email.  I will also be out of the office today, and therefore will not respond to any correspondence before tomorrow.  I appreciate your professional courtesy in this matter."

I wonder if she caught my sarcasm?  Mind you, this was instead of the following choices 1. Not responding at all; 2. Telling her to get a life with four letter explicitives; and 3.  Indicating that I won't respond unless under court order....ahh the joys.

Shockingly or not, none of her emails have since been nearly as demanding or as over the top....and exchanges have been on a much more professional level.

So, there you have it...rantings from my desk in pajamas.

Long time since posting

So, Sharona has been doing the publishing on this little blog, and it a little searching I realized that 1. I have done very little; 2. She is much more ambitious with her online profiles (namely multiple of them) and I should learn from her; 3. I really hate routine (shocker I know); and 4. I should blog more.

Why you ask?  Well, I will tell you....because I have all sorts of philosophical questions that need parsing and while my wife, as dear and sweet as she is, does indulge me, I feel bad forcing her to banter about the weird and ridiculous notions that fly between my ears.  Also, I have been accused by more than one person as not being very expressive, so maybe blogging will help with that?  Not to mention, that if you are reading this blog, well, I'm not sure what to say about you..but thank you regardless!

So, what has been running through my brain as of late, more than I can summarize, but I will attempt to list some things on this little blog that have happened in my life and things that may happen sometime in the future.

As many or none of you may know, I run my own business, a law firm.  And it has done a wonderful job of providing me with opportunities, given me the flexibility and freedom that I so desire, and above all that, it provides me with a decent paycheck...go figure.  It was started with what some may argue is hard work, a lot of patience, a lot of spiritual reflection and expression (may be interpreted as thought and prayer), and a whole lot of luck (we won't talk about what luck really is, but I may have an argument that it is an answer to prayer).   Anyways, after the last...almost 5 years (I know, crazy right?) I was thinking I needed an change.  So, I wondered what that change would be and how it would come about...and I still don't know..but I went down a windy path.

I started looking at merging my firm with other firms.....that seemed interesting....afterall, new environment, more people around me to bounce ideas off of, potential for cross-polination, all that bigger and better stuff....so I interviewed with a bunch of firms. (Wow that is a long sentence). And of course, I had a few siblings doing the whole interview thing, so why wouldn't I? After interviewing with 4 or 5 firms, all of them expressed an interest in my practice and what I do.  But in the end....none of them seemed like the right fit.  Either too little money, the feeling of being more of an employee and less of a partner, or the notion of not being able to take vacation when I wanted to just seemed like an odd mix of not enough benefit for the negatives.

In the end, after a few months of checking out other firms, Erika and I decided that it would be best to pass on the merger idea...what's next?  I don't know...for now, I'll stick with the firm and see where it takes me.  Afterall, I have some great clients, and not too bad of a work/life balance.
More to come...hopefully.

Adventures in Job Searching

As you are probably well aware by now, I finished my MBA in December 2011. Armed with my fancy new credentials, I have been looking for a new job and Ben and I have been hoping to move from Cincy. Considering I started applying for jobs a couple months before I even graduated, I think it's fair to say it's been a long haul. 

Granted, it hasn't been a completely dry market. I've been incredibly grateful to have received a few offers thrown my way during that time: one in Minneapolis and two here in Cincy. The tragedy in it all is that the offers weren't that great. So, I declined.

Of course, the tragedy highlights my fortune as well: job searching while I already have a job means I can afford to do that. Literally. Rent will still be paid. 

I am still not sure I'm wise to decline. At this point, it feels like a bad habit and that it's more likely I'll say not to a job than yes. You'd think I didn't want to leave my current job. But I promise, I do. Not because it's awful, but because I need something more (in compensation and experience) and they are not able to offer it. 

An argument could be made that I should not have turned down these offers. They all have offered better experience and better pay than what I currently have. Just not as good as what I still hope for. 

I'm a total tease. But we already knew this, right? Let's just hope I find the right one before I have absolutely no more stamina left to keep looking. 

In related news -- I have been sucked of my motivation to do any form of exercise aside from walking for almost a month (with the exception of about 3 days). Drudgery and disappointment will do that to you. But I am going to power over this hump and promise to do better.

In unrelated news -- I was quoted in an article on USA Today about couples who look like each other. And they included Ben and Mine's picture in their subsequent photo gallery. We both look awful in the picture. And we look alike. And I'm going to ignore the implications in those two adjectives and assume the first is totally circumstantial. You can see the article by linking here.The photo gallery is here.