Running Updates

I still have not committed to the marathon, in case you were wondering. Though, I did impulsively enter myself into the New York Marathon lottery. But, seriously, I have slim chances of getting into that. But the lottery cut off was June 1st, so I totally HAD to enter it. See? I had no choice! Okay, I'm totally impulsive and illogical. But I still consider myself totally uncommitted.

I have, however, been picking up my mileage. For 3 weeks I have been running 3x a week. For you runners, this probably does not sound like a lot to you. Let me explain: I enjoy running and I consider myself a runner to some degree, but I am always humbled and amazed when I talk to people who run every day. Wow. My personal preference -- running 3x a week -- or less. Beyond that, my body really doesn't seem to like me very much. I feel fatigued & worn out and I get overuse injuries. Maybe I'd go to 4 for training, if I needed to and I felt like I could hack it, but usually I don't really hack it. And when I meet you people, I think, "How do you people do it?!" It's totally impressive. I just consider myself not physically made of the same metal. As Annie would say, "Anything you can do, I can do.... sometimes."

Again, as I mentioned previously, I'm still not sure I'm doing a marathon. I'm just trying to run more consistently to see if my body can handle it and to see if I actually have enough dedication & desire to do it. I've run half's before and I thought THAT was a long ways. Twice that?!!"What am I thinking!?!?" crosses my mind right after, "That would be cool." So I'm just experimenting right now.

Here's what my test results tell me so far:

1) Dedication may be there. I actually ran three times each week. That seems to be promising, right? And my mileage wasn't so bad either. 3-4 milers on my easy days and then a 5-6 miler on the weekend for a long run. I feel good with the frequency and the mileage. I might have hope of getting up to 26.2 big ones by October or November, if I keep this up.

However, there are a few causes for concern.

1) I didn't do much cross training. I did some mild weight training and core strengthening, but I didn't exercise at all on my off days. I would need to if I was really going to train for a marathon. Am I really willing to work out this much?

2)The inside of my right ankle is getting sore. I don't think it's achille's tendonitis and I don't think it's plantar fasciitis, but it's something like that. And while a doctor might be able to tell me, I don't have a PCP out here yet and would probably be a good month away from getting a new patient appt. I don't have that much time. And it will likely get worse if I don't take care of it properly, thus ruining marathon aspirations for this fall.

3) I'm already seeing the not so fun side of higher mileage. This one's just a small bummer, but I made the mistake of running my 4 miler yesterday and my 6.2 today rather than giving myself a day in between to rest. And I feel totally ill! I'm clammy, nauseous and I have a headache. Sometimes, the feel good you get from running doesn't always feel good right after. I know, I know. No pain, no gain.

Where does this leave me? Well, the biggest issue is going to be my ankle, for sure. I think I'll try taping it to give it some support and maybe get some inserts for my running shoes for some cushioning. We'll see if that helps ease the pain.

As for my weight training? Well, I'm a sucker for a soft couch when I see one, so my plan is to take my workout gear with me to work and go to the gym before I set my foot in the door and even SEE the couch. It sounds like a good plan, right?

And the sickness? I think I'm just gonna have to suck it up. High mileage doesn't always feel good to my insides. And to be honest, I've had way worse than nausea before and still kept it up. I might like to whine about it a little, but I'll take the tradeoffs for the satisfaction of having pulled through.

You just have to want things bad enough sometimes. And I think I want it, but when I'm at mile 20 will I really want it? I'm not quite sure. I know I'll hurt, but exactly how broken are we talking? :)

If Drama Were A Color

Just a few days ago, Benny Boy and I were talking with a fabulously wonderful friend of mine, who also happens to be very savvy about colors. I had told Ben that he was a white, because I remembered my friend telling me he was a white, but I didn't remember what a white was. So we called her. And we had a lovely talk about the color code. And low and behold, Ben felt somewhat accurately labeled with his new-found color's description.

I, on the other hand, have never been well-described by the color code. This is not because the color code isn't accurate, but just because I'm a kind of hodge-podge of colors and not just one -- maybe it's an indication that "I'm complicated". But I digress... Anyhow, one of my stronger colors is blue, which is a somewhat emotionally driven color. Despite my emotional personality, however, we also noted that I am not very caught up in drama, which kind of makes me not blue.

Well, I don't like personal drama. But I DO love watching drama. One of my favorite shows to watch this past season was The Housewives of New York City. I loved this show! I love analyzing human interactions and people's motivations and observing how they handle themselves and each other. I don't so much care about their personal lives, but I love taking notes and assessing their people skills. And they provided so much fodder on the show -- fascinating and incredibly intense fodder. Side note -- I do have limits. Jerry Springer and people behaving badly is not drama to me. It's just kinda trashy and I don't like it.

So, clearly I don't put the housewives in the trash category. I think they're great! The thing is, though -- while I love watching these women, I am struck by the huge gulf between myself in real life and the real lives of these women in terms of how we interact with other people. They are so intense! They are so fiery! They are so full of drama! I love to watch this, but I think if I had a few of their interactions within a few months time, I would just be exhausted!

I steer clear of drama as much as possible. If I know someone who is high in drama, I usually think the drama is just... silly. It doesn't make sense to me in real life to behave this way and to act out so loudly. See a problem? Have a conflict? My approach is normally -- resolve, resolve, resolve -- in the nicest way possible. Don't fan the flames. Don't provoke. Don't lash out. I may be very loud when I am happy. I may be rambunctious at parties. And I may be somewhat excitable. But when it comes to confronting people over some conflict of interest or issue, I just don't do what they do! I have no desire to have it out with anybody with the vim and vigor they approach a fight.

The color code might diagnose these ladies with blue, as they react so emotionally. But then, it might be more red, with the passion and competitive nature they exude while they try to best each other in the fray. Drama. I don't know what color it is. Sometimes it's great to watch. But whatever color it is, I think it's one color I can only handle, in real life, in very, very small doses.

Weekly Word: Verdant

So, lately I'm always listening to NPR. Frequently the reporters will use words that I don't know. On occasion I remember to look up those words. This time, however, I didn't learn the new word from a reporter on NPR. Instead it was from a repetitive plug for a sponsor -- some foundation who wants a more just, verdant and peaceful world. And over and over again, I would think, "Huh.. What's verdant?"

Well, at last I remembered to actually look it up. My uncanny ability to spell words I don't know the meaning of then came into action and I swiftly found the word in the dictionary.

Verdant
adjective
1. a) green in tint or color b) green with growing plants
2. unripe in experience or judgement: green

If I'd only known. Then my post last month would have been, "Do I Look Verdant to You?".

And all your friends who can recycle -- you can call them "verdant".

And all those greenies on missions. They're very verdant.

Verdant, verdant, verdant. I'm gonna be having a hay day with this one!

Reds and the Rest

Ben and I don't get out much. I know, I know -- that's obvious. However, we had a couple of adventures this past week. Firstly, Ben's work had a Cincinnati Reds Day. This past Tuesday, Ben and I watched the Cincinnati Reds play in their super duper fancy stadium with a lame name, The "Great American Ball Park". I count the name as one step better than Energy Solutions Arena, but no more.



It really is a nice stadium. They have restaurants within the stadium and the big scoreboard (as you can see) and, of course, a beautiful field. Here's me, ever so excited for our first Reds game:



Okay, I'll be honest, I really didn't watch much of the game. Ben didn't either. We're not bi baseball fans. But we had a great time chatting with all of Ben's coworkers and I enjoyed the free Coke (ahh, a rare cherished treat) while Ben scarfed some delish hot dogs.

Yesterday (saturday) Ben and I enjoyed another Cincinnati cherished tradition: Taste of Cincinnati. They have about 5 blocks of downtown Cincinnati that they turn into a pedestrian friendly smorgasbord of food stands from over 40 restaurants in Cincinnati and you can (for a small price) taste their dishes. Here's Ben in the crazy street frenzy:



I ended up getting a Tuna Salad Nicoise from La Petit France. It was delish -- aside from the sardines they put on them as garnish . I discreetly chucked those in a nearby trashbin before digging in. Ben got a very delish Chicken Kebab Sandwich from Taz (lebaneses & greek food, if you were wondering). I'd have to say, his was incredibly flavorful. I was a little jealous.

As we walked down the street, at the very end there was this beautiful park in the middle of the city with a canopied walkway that had arbors covered in the foliage of these inredibly cool, viny-trunked trees. See below:



On a personal note, I have been trying to keep up my mileage for the last two weeks with the idea in mind that I am preparing to prepare for marathon training. :) I'm upt o 6 mile runs without too much trouble. We'll see what happens when we get to the 8's and 10's.

Marathon Musings

I think I mentioned something about a marathon in a post or a comment recently. Really, it was a foreshadowing. Running a marathon has been in the back of my mind for years. And it has been more on the forefront the last month or so. I have lots of friends who have taken this step (my co-blogger, Mainer, Adrian in Provo, a lady I serve with in Young Women's at church), which keeps reminding me that I am jealous and would like to do one too (or at least have already DONE one! Ha ha.).

But I have hesitations. For reasons of, well, reason AND practicality, I'm not sold. My reservations include:

1) I do half marathons and even after just the 13 miles, I cannot walk properly for a day or two and it really has more to do with my joints than my muscles.

2) I was once diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which causes inexplicable feelings of being injured in my joints that can last for months -- which can really mess with a training schedule.

3) Even without fibromyalgia, when I up my mileage I frequently run into real injuries -- stiff ankles, IT Band acting up, hips with weird sharp pains -- doesn't sound good, I know.

4) Although I'd like to believe it, the idea of, "because you can do it, I can do it" just isn't a convincing argument. I don't buy it. There are LOTS of things you can do that I can't. For example, flossing on a regular basis. Being able to reach the top shelf in the kitchen cupboard without a step stool. Winning at games like Trivial Pursuit. See my point?

5) There is no real NEED to run a marathon. Why am I so obsessed? Even among runners, so many people say they think the 1/2 marathon is the best distance. Why can't I be happy with that?

But it still fascinates me and weighs on my mind. So, maybe it's time. After all, October will by my big 3-0. And what better way could there be to celebrate than to run my 1st marathon? Not to mention, it might help these 5 lbs of marriage and moving weight that keep hanging on for dear life to leave me, rather than (heaven forbid) bringing with them another 5 lbs to join them.

By george, I might be ready to do one.

So, I've done more serious looking. My birthday is Oct. 19th. Coincidentally, there is a marathon in Indianapolis (just two hours from me) on Sat. October 17th, and I checked out the course -- not too much incline or decline, not too much road and, overall, appears to be a friendly 1st timer's marathon. It's also a qualifier for the Boston, not that I'm planning on that, but hey, you never know how well you'll do or how much you'll love it, right? So, that marathon is about 5 months away and two days pre-birthday.

You can see -- I'm planning. Figuring. I'm leaning that way. But I'm still not sure. I am going to start training. However, I'm not committing or registering quite yet. I'm so prone to injury and I want to see how training goes. But I would also like some advice regarding a few matters. So, any of my running friends out there, and anybody else who has insights or opinions about marathons, if you could peruse the following and let me know your thoughts, I'd love to know what you think!!!

1) I am very over-use injury prone. I have read on some training websites that you should be used to running 25 miles/wk pretty regularly for the year previously to be reasonably safe from overuse injuries. I've also read that you shouldn't up your mileage more than 10% from week to week. On the other hand, there is the Hal Higdin's tried and true training schedule that goes for 18 weeks and doesn't mention any such things.

As for me, I find the less I kill myself during training, the more likely I will survive till and through race day. I usually don't run more than 2 or 3 days a week and cross train on other days. However, this could be a contributing factor as to why I feel so jacked up just after a 1/2 marathon -- because I may have under-trained. Hard to tell. And my running since marriage has been incredibly inconsistent. Before it, I was probably doing a good 7-12 miles a week. But it's been 8 months and, while I'm not totally out of shape, I haven't been consistent since then. And I don't have a year before my 30th birthday. With my low mileage in consideration, should I wait till 31 or just go for it? I hav about 5 months till race day.

2) Why did you run a marathon, how did it affect you physically and what is your overall assessment from the experience?

It shouldn't be SUCH a big deal, right? I've been a leisurely runner for 12 years. I just don't want to end up hating the experience or, worse, having to live with the disastrously painful and long-healing consequences. :)

The weekly word: "Maybe"

Many moons ago I started writing the weekly word, and it started in the dating lingo posts...and well, I didn't know what word to write this last week, and I started drafting this one about two years ago, so I may as well finish it while I have a breather and it doesn't take me coming up with as cool a word as farding. The next word in plan making/dating lingo is...Maybe.....as in "Maybe we'll do something sometime!"

So what does maybe mean? I have an idea...but let's get a little help.

The free dictionary states:
may·be (mb) adv.

defintion: Perhaps; possibly.

So, this might look like an opening. If you were with a friend and he was like "Maybe we'll do something this weekend," you would suppose that there would be a phone call during the week to discuss, make plans, etc. After all...it is possible. It leaves the conjecture that this is more positive than negative. There is no direct affirmation or yes, but there is an understanding normally between friends that if you don't want to do something or can't, you'll just say so.

However, in the dating world, the social contract of honesty does not exist on the same terms, and I would submit to you that "maybe" is the polite and in my opinion lame way of saying.....no! There is no intention of doing whatever the action is. And the only way that a maybe is going to be overcome is by a fairly strong argument that whatever is desired is going to far outweigh any negatives that come about. Maybe is not a yes, it is not even an almost yes. I would argue that maybe, in a friend, purely non-dating/romantic scenario, is a reason to check one's schedule and indicate that you would like to but aren't sure you can.

However, in a dating/romantic, or even potentially romantic scenario...maybe is not positive.....unless in your mind anything other than a "no" is positive. It can mean a few of the following:
1. I'm not interested but I can't tell you that because I don't want to hurt your feelings/look like a pompous jerk; or
2. I'm not really interested but if you come up with something really cool you might convince me to hang out with you again, but it better be something really cool, and I better have nothing on my schedule.

What it doesn't mean:
1. I'd like that but I am just unsure if I can because of other commitments (unless of course they say they have other commitments and they would like that.); or
2. Come up with a better idea and I'll say yes (I guess they could think of you as their entertainment, but my guess is that isn't quite the type of relationship you want.); or
3. I'm just a big tease and I want you to work a little harder. (I guess it could mean that, but only if it is said with ridiculously coy and flirtatious actions - which could be a whole different story as to what is ridiculously coy and flirtatious actions....let's just not go there)

So, just remember...maybe is not positive. It isn't a no...but much closer to a no than to a yes!

The What Ifs in Life turn Faith Based?

So, this whole constant state of temporary ("CSOT")has gotten a bit more traction since I last posted, and because of it, have had a few very good discussions about it. Recently, I was having a discussion with my brother, whose name shall not be disclosed out of reasons of anonymity (although I did ask him if I could post this...and I do have enough brothers that without disclosing a name there is true anonymity) and he gave me some rather interesting twists on the whole CSOT. Now mind you, there are some portions of CSOT that I haven't figured out, and don't really make sense just yet...but perhaps I will dream up some cock-a-mame way for it all to make sense.

The first thought I would like to elaborate on is that CSOT can have many different causes. However, it is the end result that usually determines whether an individual is in a CSOT or suffers from its gripping power. So, the What ifs in Life are determined to be based on fears of the unknown and uncontrollable. We can't predict the future, nor the actions of others, nor how the unrelated, and the related, will play a role in our lives. And that unknown, that what if, prevents us from acting in one way or another. I believe in my last posting I embelished on this just enough to almost get me in trouble.

Similarly, in a religious scenario, (I am mormon, and thereby this will have a lot of mormon theological influence, but I think on the whole it could apply to most religiously minded individuals.), the fear of mistake can lead us into a state of inaction or CSOT. To exemplify/flesh out this concept, a few scenarios may be necessary.

In the mormon life, it is very common to seek out god's will, desire, or influence in the decisions and tasks that we make in life. And thereby, hope to be directed in most of what we do. Most mormons would probably indicate that they feel the spirit directs them in the majority of life, yet there are times, decisions, instances, and related where the spirit does not dictate, direct, hint, or otherwise guide. And yet we wonder why these things happen, and moreover, when that happens, it often puts people on hold, out of fear of doing it wrong, making the wrong or bad decision, or simply screwing up. And with that, if they do make the wrong decision, they have a feeling that a wrong decision is sin. Now, I don't want to get into really what is sin and what is not sin, and perhaps on some base level eveyr and any wrong decision is a sin. However, that is all for another day.

Today we are talking about CSOT. This fear of making the wrong decision often places us in a CSOT. It prevents us from action, and somewhere inside we feel we must wait for that direction, but I would proffer that it is not of us to wait, but to decide, and hope to decide the right way in the manner of learning from the previous wrong decisions.

Any of the previous "What ifs" scenarious can be taken from a faith based scenario as well. In the previous scenarious, if one had the "feeling" that they should not or should do any of the previously mentioned actions, then it is no longer a "What If" or a CSOT, but a decision, and that decision is the answer for doing or not doing whatever it is. I do not mean to have CSOT be an explanation for all decisions that are not in the affirmative, rather simply to address the fear of making decisions. We should not avoid an action or decision because of what we do not know, but should make a decision to the best of our capabilities based on what we do know or what we can find out to enable us to make a better decision.

I'll refrain from quoting religious texts or musing on the nature of man, but CSOT proposes a variety of links and difficulties to many beliefs which I have.

For instance, I tend to be a bit of a political philosophical geek. And I have somehwere over time, started to really enjoy Locke and Hobbes, and their different approaches to the State of Nature. Along those lines, I have rather crystalized views of life, its purpose, and its duration. For instance, although there is the term I have indicated in presenting the problem previously described as a "Constant State of Temporary", I actualy believe that life at its essence and its whole is a state of temporary, and therefore, at least everything for the life of an individual is temporary. Nothing is more temporary than our age, and along with that, our mindsets may be just as temporary.

CSOT was coined in my brain to help me embrace that temporariness, to prevent inaction due to any circumstance other than choice, and to avoid the lack of choice. In regards to Locke and Hobbes, I tend to adobt many of their thoughts as my own, and the role government should play in our lives. The idea that many is born into a state of nature, and it is simply government's role to prevent us from doing any action which might inhibit the ability of another to employ or utilize that same freedom. Along with that, theis freedom or ability to act and enjoy or employ our passions or appetites in a manner which we enjoy, which brings us happiness, which we believe to be for our own good and/or desire. These theories thereby influence the idea of how we should also govern ourselves, and not just how we should require a body or regime to govern us.

I do not mean for these posts/this thought process to encourage an inordinate amount of risk taking or risky behaviour, but simply that fear should not dictate action.

I think I need more sleep and I am not sure this post makes that much sense...but feel free to get whimsical and wax philosophical in your comments.

May Day! May Day! May Day!

Happy May Day!

I feel like it's a new beginning. Anybody else? And it couldn't be more perfect that today falls on a Friday. It feels even MORE like a new beginning as I have the weekend to recharge & start fresh. Fresh, fresh, fresh.

I know fresh starts are usually reserved for New Years and birthdays. But I just can't help it. It FEELS fresh. Maybe it has something to do with the change in the weather. I feel springy. And with the brighter season, I'm dusting off my new years resolutions and brightening my outlook. To memorialize this event, I'm picking the areas where I am committing to do a little better:

1) working out. I was doing well before, but then we threw in the wrench of transitioning to working full-time AND waking up an hour earlier. This threw my desire to WORK out... WAY out... the window. I think its symptomatic of the fact that routine changes take a lot out of me. I need adjustment periods before I am really able to juggle the new changes along with everything else. Now that I have been working full-time for a couple weeks and am finally waking up on time refreshed and no longer need to nap when I get home, I think I'm ready to get cracking again. Woohoo!

2) I am reaffirming my commitment to cook so Ben and I eat at home. And eat HEALTHY at home. Left to his own devices, I believe Ben would live off of cream cheese, salsa, chips, hot dogs and licorice. And maybe some Taco Bell. No Quiero Taco Bell! We've been doing well so far, even with the fact that we both work now. We just have to keep it up ....and diversify the lunch menu a little bit more. Canned soup and lunchmeat sandwiches are going to get old really fast.

3) A new affirmation -- ramping up preparations to buy a house. This involves many things, but the most pressing is for me to be the monkey on Ben's back, nagging him to finish working on the jeep. We can't move until we have a second car and he will never finish the work on the jeep to get it to drive-able if I leave him alone. I have the last.... oh, year or so of the non-finishing of the jeep as proof of this. And I am a believer and a hoper that I do not nag about much else. But I'm willing to resort to almost anything to become a two-car family. A woman needs her vehicular freedom!

4) we must budget like fiends so we have enough money to buy the darn thing. Good thing I like budgeting. But it's getting harder and harder as I am seeing that my clothes (especially my shoes!) are less and less updated and more and more worn looking. I know, I know. I'm hard-pressed to make convincing argument that I'm needy in this area. But I really DO need a good, reliable black handbag. Don't you think? :) And Coach makes the loveliest handbags..... I think my christmas list is going to be long this year.

One cool tool we found to watch our monthly expenses is this website called Wesabe, if anyone is interested. I think it rocks, and is a lot easier to use than Microsoft Money (granted I've never tried Quicken. But we're cheap and Wesabe is free and online.)

4) Finding a fitness goal. What should it be? Another 1/2 marathon? Maybe I'm getting to old and I should scale back to 5 and 10k's? I'm totally jacked up after 1/2's. Or maybe forget that and do all of the above? Or starting out a new sport -- the triathlon? I kinda wanna do a triathlon, but I wanna get a bike for it, and THAT is probably going to be a "hold" item till we get the house(kinda like my black coach handbag. :)) But I need to do something for motivation's sake. I miss these little mile stones. I want to pick one, commit, and get to it.

5) list-making. I used to make a lot of lists. I found these lists to be incredibly helpful in getting things done. Now, I do not make lists so much, and I get LESS done. I will write lists again. Maybe. :)

6) using my free time more wisely. This is coupled with the list-making goal. I don't know what exactly I will do with my free time, but sometimes I waste it not doing anything. And really I don't even ENJOY not doing anything. Admittedly, this problem is a little new to me. I don't think I've really HAD free time over the past few years until we moved to Ohio. So, it's no wonder I don't know what to do. All the more reason to capitalize on using it well.

Now, I do realize that "fresh start" is a total misnomer for anyone who has been alive for more than a day. I am a creature of habit and the fact that I'm not already in the habit of having these things mastered speaks strongly against my ability to do these things and for them to stick. But I believe I have hope. I'm a work in progress. See Sharon Run. See Sharon stop running for a couple weeks. See Sharon run again. See Sharon make a list. See Sharon make a list twice. See Sharon make progress.

I think this makes for a lovely easy-reader for 1st graders. And if they can get it, I too should be able to get it.